I once ran across this quote as I was looking for reasons to explain someone’s actions about how they failed to take ownership of their problem:
“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” ~Albert Ellis, psychologist
You see, someone had blamed my company for something and it was so stupid that I literally couldn’t answer them for a moment. Something didn’t work correctly for them…because they actually never tried it. Yes. You read that right. They wanted to message me and tell me all about how it didn’t work. After getting to the root of the problem, I realized it didn’t work correctly because it was NEVER used. Hmm. Interesting.
3 Ways to Take Ownership of Your Life:
- Take responsibility for your part. This is huge. Have you really tried as hard as you could to fix x,y,and z without saying that you can’t. Have you blamed your kids? Your husband? Found something else to blame? Have you blamed your pantry? The pizza? The coworkers for eating cake all the time? The alcohol for being so good? I mean trust me when I say I get it…I do. But at some point I finally had to say IF I do this, then I take full responsibility for how I feel afterwards. No one is force feeding me things I can’t eat.
- A lesson repeats itself until it is learned. So you started the new year off right, but gave up going to the gym already. You say it’s too cold, it’s not a good time, it’s too busy, etc. Are you trying the same exact things you always do? Have you thought of re-framing how you go about learning this lesson? What if you asked a friend to meet you? What if you joined a challenge? What if you had a wellness coach? The list goes on. But if you think you will fail, you will. If you think you will succeed, you will. The lesson is that powerful in your mind. What you are telling yourself daily really does play itself out.
- Create better habits. When you realize you are repeating the same habits, start to re-frame your mind. View the situation from fresh eyes. I once heard this story about a man who gained 20 pounds because everyday, around 3p.m., he would get up, stretch and go downstairs for a soda. While there, he chatted with co-workers. After he realized he was gaining weight, he thought about what it was he craved at that time. He wanted to chat. So he went and asked co-workers to walk around the center he worked instead. He got the energy he needed and the break from the same old cubicle. And dropped the extra pounds. Now you can even do those fitness challenges at work. But don’t say that you can’t break your habit because then you are again giving up your control.
When you begin to accept the part you play in your life, it really and truly does become YOUR life again. It is after all, not your parents, not your husband’s and not your kids life. It is still yours. Take over once again.
Read more about how I took control and created a plan for others to do the same in my 4 Weeks to Wellness Course. The price is low now, but is going up soon!!