“Mom. Name the friends you hang out with.” Sigh. I have friends, but I am a grown woman and I like my alone time. It is a familiar conversation in my house. For highly sensitive people, sometimes it is very hard to be around large crowds of people, noises, and anyone who might be trying to hide things. So that pretty much is everyone, right?
Let me explain. We all hide things to a certain degree, of course. However, if you are an empath, you pick up on so much more. <<< If you aren’t sure, I liked to my first article on my experiences. Anyway, here is an example of something that might happen to me. Someone sends me a text or a message. It seems like an ordinary message, but behind it I feel the reason they sent it and can tell that there are ulterior motives and/or strings attached. I decide whether or not I want to answer and how to answer as I know that there is something else coming. Maybe this sounds a bit woo-woo to you, but it really happens. Another example, someone says something in conversation that seems innocent to others. I look around at a gathering and see if anyone else believes what they just said and people are buying it. I am in disbelief because I feel the lie…and it makes me uncomfortable so I usually change the subject if it is a group of people or I just decide that it’s time to leave.
Final example on this…you go to social media and you see a series of clues that someone you know has put out there, but it’s like you have x-ray vision and no one in your circle does. You casually mention that so and so seems to be really upset and you think maybe they need to talk about it or something along those lines, and suddenly you are starting gossip when the truth is, you were really just concerned. This is the one that makes me upset because people are like how do you know? What did you hear? What do you know? Erm. I just felt it. So perhaps you back away slowly from this because my, that escalated quickly. Thus the makings for the empath hermit.
3 Social Tips for the Empath:
- Get centered before you go out to any event. What does that mean anyway? Put both feet flat on the ground (barefoot) and if you are sitting sit up straighter through the spine. Shrug your shoulders up towards your ears, but then relax them back down as if you are shrugging, but opening up the heart area. In my Head|Heart|Health Club, I teach these steps in a series of videos relating to yoga and connecting to the body. So now I want you to place one hand on your stomach area above your navel. I want you to take a deep breath in and then hold at the top and then release the breath feeling your hand rise and fall. Do this for a round of three. This helps get you steady, especially if you suffer from anxiety, and this breath technique is available to you at all times should you need it. You might feel like you need to deep breathe to connect to your energy more than someone’s at a party or event as a reminder that your feelings are still there and you can then snap back into your own body. This is very effective.
- Dress for the event. Visualization and physical reminders help as well. You might want to wear pink to remind yourself to imagine a bubble of love. For someone not familiar with this practice, it is easy to get caught up in these bad feelings, and feel miserable for knowing things. As we practice “bubbling up” we can visualize a bubble of pink surrounding our physical body and carrying it with us into the crowd. As many people are quick to point out the negatives of humanity, you are going to remind yourself that there is good out there as well, and carry that feeling with you in the bubble. Think of it as Harry Potter’s Patronus…”a projection of your most positive feelings”, and only you know that it’s there. If you like to wear a necklace or bracelet with a word or charm on it to remind you of that, go for it. I actually wear a bracelet with the word gratitude.
- Do work prior to going out and when you come home. Here comes the part that I teach my club, talk about on my page during my live chats, and do myself daily. I journal and I do the work. I work through all of the feelings, and I have learned to tell immediately what is mine and what is not. I protect myself from the negative energy of others through a combination of yoga, journaling, meditation/prayer, and more. It has really helped me over the years take back what is my energy and sift through what might be a negative feeling that merged with mine. For very specific instructions, videos, tutorials, breathwork, and over 30 journal prompts designed specifically for the empath, check out my guide for your soul. <<<
The work that I have done on myself and others has helped me become more aware of how I navigate the world. I could have saved myself loads of pain over the years if I had realized what was happening earlier in my life, but the good thing is that now that I know, I am able to get out more and make better friendships and connections than I did prior to learning how to control my highly sensitive emotions.