Love. It can be a great and powerful thing, but when you get your heart broken, it can seem as if you don’t recognize yourself anymore. Sometimes, we lose ourselves in a relationship and that my friends, is not a good thing.
However, sometimes we can also detach and realize we don’t need to be with that person 24/7 and declare our undying love and faith to this person every single day on social media. Moreover, we can actually do things that are different and freely be able to let go with love and trust in your heart…and know that they are going to come back. Both of these situations are different, yet they require the same kind of actions.
This line has always spoken to me: “Let there be spaces in your togetherness,” said Khalil Gibran. “And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.”
How to detach emotionally from someone:
- Do a serious mental check and see if you have your own source of happiness. << link to the formula I love the meme of the little guy carrying the jar of happiness. When his friend asks him where he got that with wide eyes, he says “I made it myself.” BOOM! This is such truth in this tiny cartoon. Note: I do not know who drew this and have looked everywhere or it would be a link to you. Mystery artist.
- Take a huge breath! Yes, just breathe. <<< link to creating that space you need. Listen to your inner guide. How long have you been thinking that you are clingy, losing yourself, or jealous? Have you thought those things? Do you instinctively know that you need a “break” from someone, but are afraid of the alternative. Really start to trust your inner guide in this situation. You can press the pause button and still be okay. It happens in relationships. It helps you get through the rough times when you see that there are mistakes being made, and you can actually own those mistakes. It shows that you can admit when you are wrong.
- You have absolutely zero, that’s right, zero control over someone else. No matter what you would like to believe, you are not the man behind the curtain. In fact, you are more likely to be the Wicked Witch if you think you can control a relationship. Free your mind…and the rest will follow. Wait, that’s a song. I want you to listen to that. Seriously. Listen to En Vogue a minute. Now back to this. Sometimes people wear clothes that you might not approve of, speak their mind, or do other things that make YOU think a certain way. It doesn’t necessarily mean that was their intention. Ask them.
- Pain is temporary, but being in a relationship that isn’t working can last a long time and really cause more harm than good. You are not defined by their actions and it can be really hard to understand that you didn’t do anything wrong. Focus on loving them enough to let them go if it’s not working and work on healing for you and you alone. Start creating that jar of happiness and keep on adding to it. Surround yourself with supportive people as you make this move to detach.
Detachment with love, instead of pain, regret, hate and malice is so much better for our higher good and spiritual healing. Raising your vibration to love helps you heal faster and shows you the way to go for yourself. You are not doing this for anyone else, remember that. YOU control your happiness. You.