I started this new thing where I ask my readers questions and today’s question really got people going. Today was about “Lies of Omission”. Basically someone omits an important detail from a statement; therefore, they are not telling the whole truth. Sometimes people seem to think these are okay, because they are emitting something…sadly, that is not the case.
The thing is, the truth will come out in the end, and it really does take less effort. I read an article recently that said telling lies takes longer than telling the truth. How can we spot the lies?
7 Ways to Notice if Someone is Lying:
- The face always tells everything I need to know. There are some people who try to mask this, but I seem to pick up on certain cues. For just a second, I can see the person pause, frown, look happy, look sad, or seem to consider their move. Sometimes its minimal. Eyebrows, frown lines, etc and then its gone. Poof. Like half-a-second. So I keep watching.
- Inconsistencies in their story. Ahem. Cough. Someone is making headlines about that right now. If you listen to the story and you think, even for a second, something doesn’t sound right here. You are probably right. Say, you know, being robbed as an Olympic swimmer. There are lots of things that don’t always add up, and the truth is hidden under there. Somewhere. Listen closely.
- Prolonging eye contact during part of the story. We have always heard the opposite is true, but a new study says that people who really want you to believe something don’t break eye contact. Interesting. They are trying hard to convince you that they are honest. Apparently honest people do break eye contact. Instead of staring you down. Like they are using a Jedi mind control trick to hold you there. Hmm. Very interesting.
- Ask them the unexpected question. I had a friend who perpetually lied to me about everything in the universe. Yes. I knew. <<< see the blog post about creating distance from these types or this one here about boundaries. Anyway, whenever I asked unexpected questions, there was silence. Long pauses and lots of umm, ahh you know. It was the same thing every time. No real answer at all.
- Check for bad habits to come out. Excessive lip licking. Looking down. Biting nails. Fidgeting. Habitual liars still don’t realize they have signs like these that come out. When a person lies, it actually causes stress on the body and beings out these signs…even running to the bathroom as their stomach hurts.
- Saying they are honest as their voice changes tone. I’m telling you what, the fish was 6 feet, no 7 feet long. I SWEAR! I am telling the TRUTH on this one. Insert other lies here, and listen for the change of tone or the affirmation of honesty.
- It’s beginning to sound too familiar or too many details that seem odd are being told. I would get told over and over well I didn’t know anything about it. I wasn’t even there. Yet the person’s friend would tell me she was there, and did know and helped with the details, etc. Whatever. If you get to the point where it is the same old thing over and over and you got better things to do than listen to this tall tale, jump over here and have a read at this post. Maybe it is time to nourish a new relationship. Or build a strong friendship with these 3 tips.
Whatever is going on, chances are, if you are reading this, you might suspect someone is lying to you…more than once. Remember, your self-esteem isn’t hurting, it’s theirs for lying to you. We should all be able to look one another in the eye and be honest without fear. Depending on the person’s motives, it could be they feel you won’t like them or perhaps they are using the lies in a far more hurtful way. Whatever the case, encourage them to talk to a counselor because sometimes it’s better to have a professional navigate through that than for you to constantly feel caught in this deception. It will only bring you down.