Author’s note: applies all the time, not just before, during or after an election year.
I was scrolling through the magical land of Fakebook, and already someone posted who they were voting for in a big meme style photo. Why is this bad?
Whew. I am going to break it down for you real quick.
- I’m going to unfriend you if you vote for ______. All over the place.
- Posting who you are voting for and then daring people to unfriend you.
- Inciting violence, hate speech and the like on your post by using words to intentionally offend the other people.
- Baiting said “friends” who comment.
- Posting and spreading more hate filled articles all over the internet on all sides.
- Sharing this horrible thing you just heard about such and such.
- Inviting more like-minded people into your secret groups…gangs, or whatever you have made for yourself so you can see more drama.
So let’s pretend it’s not this all over your feed because maybe you live in a foreign country…lucky you right now. I remember reading my friend’s posts after #brexit was everywhere. Wow. It was painful to see what they were going through. The ripples of unkind words truly do spread across nations.
Drama is certainly everywhere. Gone are the times we just saw it all over the soap operas. It’s at work, which spreads to Fakebook, our lives, which spreads to Fakebook <<< why? Why do people air out all the dirty, nasty things of their lives for others to jump on? Having drama in your life is absolutely by choice. I believe this.
The celebrities sure make money off it, but guys, what does it bring to your life? Truly? This well-respected person just blatantly invited it in all over her feed tonight and I read it and was like WOW. She had all these evil mouthed people hiding up in her friend’s list? She poked the hornet’s nest tonight.
Other than a good friends list clean up, I really see no purpose.
Saying No to Drama in 5 Steps:
- You actually pause and reflect before answering the e-mail, text, or message that you actually could have misread. I know there are times when you want to assume the message was sent with harsh intent, but honestly, it’s a message. What voice did you read into it when you read it? What was your mood like? What could the other person have been doing when they sent it? <<< take a cycle of 3 deep breaths and meditate. Drink green tea. Go to yoga. Then come back to it and read it. Call if necessary. But just stay neutral in your tone. The gloves don’t have to be on…right now.
- If you think it might not be a good idea to post it, don’t. It’s that simple. Are you creating useless drama in your life? Are you perpetuating a cycle? Why do you have to call someone out on the book of Fake anyway? That hasn’t solved anything so far. What do you actually want to happen? Will that happen by putting it out there? Just ask yourself a few questions and see where your motives lie. Attention? Truth? Shame? <<< hmm. Not good. Journal about your feelings somewhere safe and think of alternatives.
- Are you honest with people? It can be that easy. If you have hurt feelings, does the person even know? Have you made your point clear before this moment, or not really? If you are making clear statements and the person keeps at it, then it’s time for the next step.
- Step away from the situation…possibly for good. This one is super hard. Trust me, I know. If you have run all the possible scenarios over and over in your head, and there is no possible good outcome…ever…then walk away. The people who are supposed to be in your life, will find a way. Toxic relationships cause stress, damage and could actually be harmful to your own relationship or marriage.
- Notice the good and feed it. I am just so blessed to have seen this change for me in the last year. As I fed the better thoughts, they grew. As I surrounded myself with like-minded people, my circle radiated support. As I trusted my friends to be honest with me, I received that honesty I craved and yes, deserved. I am worthy of supportive relationships. My girls are worthy of growing up with supportive, drama-free circles as well.
You know, growing up, if we invited this kind of mess into our lives at say 13, 14, or 15, we might call it “a learning experience”. But what happens when we are 30, or 40 and we are having the same learning experience again and again? It’s not going to go away until it teaches us something…that much I know. As we go forth into this week, be aware of the baited conversations. Whatever they are trying to catch, let them get caught up in it. Not you. Go on by with your head held high and find the joy in your life while you still can. If you need a supportive place, come find us in the Club. <<<