Painful talk…

I was just asked how I stayed so positive when I write.  The truth is, I am not always positive.  I am angry.  I am in pain.  I have issues just like everybody else.  I have too many doctors and wish that one of them, just one of them, understood the implications of living with “invisible diseases” because they sure as hell aren’t invisible on the inside.  I snap at people just like you do.  The difference is, I have learned to watch for signs since I have been known to make mistakes when in pain.

I have a support system.  One that hopefully forgives me because they are the ones I snap at.  Chances are, if you are my close friend, I have done this to you.  It is because I feel safe with you.  I hope that you will forgive me when I do this and know that I don’t mean it.

I have my parents.  I get on their nerves as much as they sometimes get on mine.  I rant.  I am a Scorpio.  They later forgive me as well.  We tell jokes.  We laugh.  I like to talk to them.  Sometimes I have to remind them that just because I am telling them my problems does not mean I expect them to fix it.  I just want someone to listen.

I have had the same best-friend for a long time.  Long enough to know who I was before I was diagnosed with HH/PCT.  Long enough to know that laughter is the best medicine and I need frequent doses.

Lastly, I have the best family.  My husband and children take care of me.  Without them, I would fall apart.  No doubt.

So the truth is, I try not to talk when I am in pain, but I am just like everybody else.  I make an effort to focus on what is left once you take away my pain.  My diseases do not define me.  I have to remember that.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”  ~Socrates

Building the new


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