This keeps coming up in my life, so I am meant to share the message with you. Picture this, you’re stressed out. Feeling moody about something…maybe even angry. You send off a quick text to someone. All of your anger and frustration can actually be felt through that text. The person on the other end was not really the cause of it, but they’re sure getting it. They open up the text and it’s like whooooosh. It washes over them. Then they react without thinking and send one right back to you. Before you know it, you aren’t even speaking and you don’t know what happened.
The reason this happens is because you forgot that words have meaning. The thought behind them, the vibration, even the punctuation carries a message. You misplaced this in today’s fast paced society. ALL CAPS still means you are screaming. I need you to look at this!!!!!!! Means, honey, you are way too over-excited about something, and you feel it must be done now. What is wrong with you????? With numerous question marks means clearly, you think that person might have a problem…not realizing the problem is how you are communicating. Using abrupt, demanding language without even so much as a hello, how are you doing, seems like you don’t value my time. You just want your question answered now, and my time is not as valuable as yours.
Oftentimes I get this…hey girl. How are you doing? I answer and never hear back from them again. Clearly, they didn’t really want to know how I’m doing. I’m done with those one-sided conversations that are “phishing” for information. I’m not sure what they wanted…but obviously it wasn’t to build a real relationship with me. It’s time to take stock of the “friendships” you have in your life. Are they all one sided and devoid of trust? Do they use demanding language when “speaking” to you through texts or messages? Does anyone actually make dates with you or call you on the phone? When is the last time someone said to you, I miss your face. Let’s get together soon. I have these dates open. Not the empty, “We should do lunch.”
Now it’s time to take stock of how you use texts, messages, and e-mails. Do you pause carefully to consider the right words and how they sound when you read them back to yourself before you hit send? How would you feel if you got messages in the middle of the day that are one-liners demanding your time? What if you were going through something really hard? Would you react with kindness and care or would you come from a place of hurt and anger as you respond? The reason I am saying all this, is because hopefully I just showed someone the right way to look at the messages they have been sending me. It could have ended badly, but that person backed up and thought about it and apologized. Right then. She didn’t wait. And that is how you earn respect when you learn to take stock of your body language and your text language. If you are doubting a message that you just sent and there is no way to call it back from the inter-webs, please man or woman up with your vulnerability cloak, and say hey, I am calling you because I just sent you a message and I really shouldn’t have sent it yet. I wasn’t in a good place at the time. Please forgive me. End of story. Vulnerability is good. We are human. Don’t wait months or years because the damage has been done. Allow grace to come into your life.