7 Ways Starting a Daily Journal Practice Will Change Your Life

7 Ways Starting a Daily Journal Practice Will Change Your Life

I’ll never forget the night I sat down and decided that there was much more to keeping a journal than 30 days of Gratitude.  Don’t get me wrong, that is absolutely what started my goal of journaling for an entire year.  In 30 days, I saw more progress in my outside world than I had in a long time.  Starting a daily journal practice absolutely will change your life…if you commit to getting to know your subconscious mind. 

The thoughts.

There was a chasm, a freaking chasm, between who I wanted to be and what my thoughts were telling me.  I was not living up to my full potential and the 18 years of living with invisible diseases had worn away the once shiny coat I saw of life.  It was dull and bitter.  This wasn’t what I saw my life looking like, I would think through the hazy fog of pain.  Why bother getting out of my pajamas?  My subconscious would tease me.  Get under these blankets and rest.  You deserve it.  You have 7 invisible diseases.  No one blames you for sitting here.  You are just trying to survive.  And that’s when it hit me.

The goal.

I wanted to live, not merely survive.  I wanted to change my thoughts, my world and help others like me.  I wanted to be an inspiration to my children and I wanted my husband to stop feeling so helpless about the physical pain I was in.  I wanted my dad to stop looking at me like he broke me by passing on the genes that made me different.  And one night, it all came to me on how to help others with this.

7 Ways Starting a Daily Journal Practice Will Change Your Life:

  1. Journaling clears your head.  As you begin the “getting ready for bed” routine, your brain has probably been on some sort of tech.  Your brain still thinks it’s play time actually, so it’s time to start clearing our heads, and start putting our brains to bed so to speak.  It is time to reduce the scattered thoughts that so much information available to us at one time (the internet) provides us.  As we get ready for bed, it is time to increase our focus on a few specific things and start to recharge.  We are now providing the bridge between our subconscious and our conscious waking thoughts.  So much information can just flow if we let go!
  2. Your intentions become more clear.  A few weeks ago, you would have thought I asked people to throw away their phones.  I simply suggested getting an old-fashioned alarm clock and stop relying so much on your phones to wake you up in the morning.  I merely pointed out that the tone with which you start your day stays with you (and that link is even a few years old, it is much greater now as it points out in the study).  So if you take 5-10 minutes to think about what your wrote the night before, and how to utilize the first 10 minutes of waking up as pure visualization, gratitude practice, and goal setting, you will start to see tiny changes in your productivity during the day.  New opportunities will arise.
  3. Abundance in your life will increase by your ability to be very specific with what you want.  Last year, I paid off a very high credit card bill because I wrote about my monthly goals every single month until that thing was paid off.  I was not in a good place financially at the time due to me leaving work to have my “sabbatical” of healing.  This is a true story.  I was driving a mini-van that was falling apart, and I knew that I wanted a new vehicle.  The funds came in for me to pay off the credit card bills, and have money left-over to get the vehicle without worry or fear.  I also renewed my passport and traveled overseas where I had been invited to speak at a conference.  It was exactly what I had written out.  I was specific on some things I wanted to get done and each month as I started a new month, I would plan out that month’s goals.  I got very clear and things changed.
  4. How do you want to feel each day?  Why is it so frustrating that as we live our lives, we focus so much on what we DON’T want to attract??  Why is it that we don’t ever take a minute to connect to how we actually want to feel?  To live?  What do we really want to experience on a daily basis?  I am by no means saying that there aren’t wonderful people out there who can help you figure this out in therapy, but I was spending my co-pay ($25 a visit at the time…now up to $30), trying to get “unstuck” from the depression caused by the diseases when I finally had the Epiphany that if I wrote just a little bit each day on how I wanted to feel, and what I wanted to create, that I could make more progress through the mental jungle in my head than the lady sitting there listening to me could.  I was holding back what I told her anyway (note, you can also use this in addition to, so just letting you know. There are many ways to use journaling).
  5. Gratitude starts to increase as you notice the good in your life.  Do you ever think that someone in your life could use more thoughts of gratitude?  I did too.  But trying to change another person is like changing a light bulb using the Force (unless you truly are a Jedi and I am mistaken).  You can mentally torture yourself about this other situation that you can’t change, or you can start focusing on the good you already have in your life.  As we think about the good in our lives, and we seriously raise our vibration to one of thankfulness and gratitude, things start to take on a whole new perspective.  Trust me, I know.  I will never forget the day I got to stock up my refrigerator with good food because surprisingly, gluten-free items are way more expensive than things with gluten…as well as things that don’t have additives.   I was so very thankful that I lived in a time when I could find the food I needed without getting sick.
  6. Comparison starts to melt away.  I was once friend with someone who always wanted what other people had.  Nothing in life made her happy.  At all.  This kind of stuff melts away as you focus on your monthly goals, your monthly intentions, your happiness and what you have.  Who cares what person x “appears” to have?  Truth bomb.  They are faking it too sister.  Yup.  Marriage might be rocky, job might be stressful, and they never have time to just breathe.  Don’t focus on their fappiness.  <<< My word for Fake-happy I made up one day.  That’s another story before the healing process…read later if you are there.
  7. Journaling gets you closer to self.  Head is where your thoughts are and they are things you really don’t want others to know.  Heart is actually where your self lives.  The two don’t always agree.  In fact, they often argue.  Your head is like “Let’s be practical with this money.”  Your heart is like “Oh my gosh.  I need a pick-me-up today.  Going to shop.”  This is just my example as I couldn’t put 2 thoughts together the other day as it was a bad news day for 2 friends, so I listened to my heart and stopped working and left the house.  AS I let go of that fear though, and learn to write about it, I actually visualize things working out.  Not just for me, but for others in my life as well.  Self is my essence and I know that it distinguishes me from others.  In this instance, I am not talking about the ego.  I am talking about who I was before I let all the labels of disease try to take over that essence.  For me personally, I had to find my way back there and that journey will look different for each and every one of you, but whether you write two lines on a page, draw art therapy photos under quotes, bullet journal, or just jot down monthly goals and intentions, you can find your way back.  Trust the process.

For more information on what came to me one night while I was journaling, see this link on my Mindful Coaching.  If you want some guidance on this process, with no strings attached, you can leave at anytime, click on the word support on that page and find me in my closed group.  The Head|Heart|Health Club would love to see you this month!

Who are you choosing to be?

From Panic to Peace…Your Guide to Meditation.

As the yoga class begins, I hit play on the Native American flute music and it wraps around my soul like a healing balm.  I literally shiver and feel myself becoming more still.  More “clicked” in to this present moment.  I breathe deeply and scan the energies.  What do we need today?

There are so many threads to smooth down at the beginning of a yoga class.  So we always begin with a centering exercise that calms the panic and soothes the soul.  But what if you have never meditated a day in your life?  What if the thought of being still, quiet and centered just seems out of reach?

The truth is, misconceptions to meditation lead to you not wanting to try it.  Most people envision a monk in robes at the top of a mountain sitting in stillness for days.  In reality, we can calm ourselves and really click in to our bodies in as little as 5 minutes.

How can we add this practice to our day?

  1. Clear a space on your calendar for “you” time.  Literally write it in if you have to.  I suggest the first thing in the morning, but if you feel stressed at any point in the day, you repeat your morning practice.
  2. You do not have to sit on the floor, but you do need to straighten your spine, relax your shoulders.  Put your feet flat on the floor if you are in a chair and sit up nice and tall.  The eyes drift closed and focus on the point between your eyebrows.
  3. Start by taking 3 deep cleansing breaths.  You can even repeat this mantra:  I am breathing in (inhale).  I am breathing out (exhale).
  4. As you breathe, focus on how your body feels.  Lift your toes and place them flat on the floor.  Put your hand on your belly and feel it expand like a balloon.  Just breathe.  If thoughts come into your mind, use my leaf imagery.  Place these unwanted thoughts on the leaf and watch it float away from you.  Peacefully down the stream.
  5. Allow your body to sit like this until you feel the tension release and a natural rhythm starts to take over.
  6. If thoughts have come in that you feel are really disturbing your peace, jot them down on a piece of paper after, and if you would like, you can use toilet paper to literally “flush” them away from you.  Ahh.  Release the you-know-what.

This practice can be done at any time, any place.  If you are having a particularly stressful time right now, use the shower meditation as well.  Each time you get in the shower, imagine the water washing off all thoughts of pain, anger, anxiety and only positive thoughts filling you up.  Continue to filter any and all thoughts that do serve you including panic, worry, thoughts of the past or thoughts of the future.  Keep focusing on the word contentment as you wash away worries.

Affirmations to use:

  1. All I need to do right now is breathe.
  2. I am safe and protected.
  3. A warm peaceful energy surrounds me and those I love.
  4. All is well.
  5. With every breath, I become more peaceful.

Interested in a meditative type of journaling practice to increase abundance and gratitude?  Feel free to check out my e-book here. <<< There are over 30 focused prompts to lead your mind to a better focus as well as exercises for the mind, and additional affirmations to use daily.

Saying No to Drama in 5 Steps!

I was scrolling through the magical land of Fakebook, and already someone posted who they were voting for in a big meme style photo.  Why is this bad?

Whew.  I am going to break it down for you real quick.

  • I’m going to unfriend you if you vote for ______.  All over the place.
  • Posting who you are voting for and then daring people to unfriend you.
  • Inciting violence, hate speech and the like on your post by using words to intentionally offend the other people.
  • Bating said “friends” who comment.
  • Posting and spreading more hate filled articles all over the internet on all sides.
  • Sharing this horrible thing you just heard about such and such.
  • Inviting more like-minded people into your secret groups…gangs, or whatever you have made for yourself so you can see more drama.

So let’s pretend it’s not this all over your feed because maybe you live in a foreign country…lucky you right now.  I remember reading my friend’s posts after #brexit was everywhere.  Wow.  It was painful to see what they were going through.  The ripples of unkind words truly do spread across nations.

Drama is certainly everywhere.  Gone are the times we just saw it all over the soap operas.  It’s at work, which spreads to Fakebook, our lives, which spreads to Fakebook <<< why?  Why do people air out all the dirty, nasty things of their lives for others to jump on?  Having drama in your life is absolutely by choice.  I believe this.

The celebrities sure make money off it, but guys, what does it bring to your life?  Truly?  This well-respected person just blatantly invited it in all over her feed tonight and I read it and was like WOW.  She had all these evil mouthed people hiding up in her friend’s list?  She poked the hornet’s nest tonight.

Other than a good friends list clean up, I really see no purpose.

Saying No to Drama in 5 Steps:

  1. You actually pause and reflect before answering the e-mail, text, or message that you actually could have misread.  I know there are times when you want to assume the message was sent with harsh intent, but honestly, it’s a message.  What voice did you read into it when you read it?  What was your mood like?  What could the other person have been doing when they sent it?  <<< take a cycle of 3 deep breaths and meditate.  Drink green tea.  Go to yoga.  Then come back to it and read it.  Call if necessary.  But just stay neutral in your tone.  The gloves don’t have to be on…right now.
  2. If you think it might not be a good idea to post it, don’t.  It’s that simple.  Are you creating useless drama in your life?  Are you perpetuating a cycle?  Why do you have to call someone out on the book of Fake anyway?  That hasn’t solved anything so far.  What do you actually want to happen?  Will that happen by putting it out there?  Just ask yourself a few questions and see where your motives lie.  Attention?  Truth?  Shame?  <<< hmm.  Not good.  Journal about your feelings somewhere safe and think of alternatives.
  3. Are you honest with people?  It can be that easy.  If you have hurt feelings, does the person even know?  Have you made your point clear before this moment, or not really?  If you are making clear statements and the person keeps at it, then it’s time for the next step.
  4. Step away from the situation…possibly for good.  This one is super hard.  Trust me, I know.  If you have run all the possible scenarios over and over in your head, and there is no possible good outcome…ever…then walk away.  The people who are supposed to be in your life, will find a way.  Toxic relationships cause stress, damage and could actually be harmful to your own relationship or marriage.
  5. Notice the good and feed it.  I am just so blessed to have seen this change for me in the last year.  As I fed the better thoughts, they grew.  As I surrounded myself with like-minded people, my circle radiated support.  As I trusted my friends to be honest with me, I received that honesty I craved and yes, deserved.  I am worthy of supportive relationships My girls are worthy of growing up with supportive, drama-free circles as well.

You know, growing up, if we invited this kind of mess into our lives at say 13, 14, or 15, we might call it “a learning experience”.  But what happens when we are 30, or 40 and we are having the same learning experience again and again?  It’s not going to go away until it teaches us something…that much I know.  As we go forth into this week, be aware of the baited conversations.  Whatever they are trying to catch, let them get caught up in it.  Not you.  Go on by with your head held high and find the joy in your life while you still can.  If you need a supportive place, come find us in the Club.  <<<

Say no to drama

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Learning to Control Your Highly Sensitive Emotions

Have you been called highly sensitive?  Empathic? Or viewed as someone who is mistrustful?  The truth is, as time goes on, my senses have started to go into overdrive on certain days, and I have had to teach myself how to handle this.  Luckily for me, I have a friend who REALLY really gets this.

Firstly, we need to accept this as a gift.  Just like any other gift we didn’t ask for, we have it.  Let’s start with an open mind about it.  Yes, I have my top post where I let us all vent.  I did.  It was necessary for us to get out our feelings.  I felt called to write that post, and you guys showed up and told me that you needed to hear this!!  I am honored by your truth…but you already know that.  He hee.

Next, we need to take stock of what is going on around us at the time of the emotional shift.  What just happened?  Were we talking to someone on the phone, messaging, or communicating with someone?  Were we alone?  Were we perhaps say browsing the interwebs?  Any of the webs.  They are in fact a web of mostly lies, or one snap photos, or fake stories, etc.  But we take note of that even if it doesn’t register right then.  We see someone’s happiness, promotion, good news, sad news, rant, breakup, divorce, or vague status and we think about it.  So observe when this happens.  Just observe for right now.

The third thing that we need to really be aware of is letting our thoughts take control of our physical body.  Do you feel sick to your stomach? Get a headache?  Physically have to run to the bathroom?  Does certain news, moods, people, behaviors make you ill?  What could you do to stop this process?  Hopefully I can help you with advice on this.

Learning to Control Your Highly Sensitive Emotions:

  1. Limit your time on social media IF possible.  This one is really hard.  I know because it’s sort of my job.  So if you can’t limit your time, learn to un-follow people/things, take breaks, get up and walk away from it.
  2. We have to stop the suffering of our body.  We do have deep feelings, so we are prone to great highs and great lows.  We might even worry about others because we know something they don’t.  The worry is the suffering.  We need to become aware of it, and replace it with love and light towards this thing.  Whatever it is.  See if you can flip it around and think, what is this trying to teach me?  And what do I need to learn from it?
  3. Exercise, meditate or do yoga.  Yes, my preference is yoga since I am a yoga teacher; however, you might enjoy running or even a walking meditation where you just clear your head and walk.  You can chant a mantra if needed or simply the word “release”.  If you pray, this can be your time to reflect on what you think God is showing you.  The choice is yours, but start a habit of getting away from the negative thoughts or feelings.
  4. Take this quote with you and digest it “The art of knowing is knowing what to ignore.” ~Rumi  Do you know what to ignore?  What things are simply not yours to take on and what are these feelings trying to show you?  Trust me when I say, I know it’s a hard place to be in.
  5. Forgive yourself and it becomes easier to forgive others.  Release the control, the anger, the anxiety, the frustration, the envy, and anything you know will not serve you.
  6. Let go of everything you think you didn’t do right.  Let it go.  Live in the now as you move forward.

perfection>>> S.O.S. still need help?  Check out these tools for you.  <<<

6 Things Happy People Know.

What in the world do happy people do differently?

Anger, pride, jealousy, and greed can get in the way of  your happiness.  You might think that in order to be happy you must have X amount of money.  You might think that in order to be happy you must have the perfect job and have the title of Ruler of All.  Whatever floats your boat.  The funny thing is, you will always want more.

On the outside, some people appear to have it all.  They shine and sparkle even when their smile doesn’t really reach their eyes.  Once they realize that they are in charge of their own happiness, you will notice the sparkle reaching their eyes as well.

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”  ~Dalai Lama

6 Things Happy People Know:

1. You are unique.  That’s right.  Even if you are a twin, you are still different.  Only you have the power to decide how you are going to feel, react and go about your day.  What you decide to act on is ultimately up to you.
2. A bad moment doesn’t make a bad life.  Remember when you were a kid and you had a bad moment?  Maybe you wanted to run away, or hide in your room, but then you woke up the next day and it was sunny and beautiful and you forgot all about whatever made you mad?  Those were the days, huh?  When did we start living in the movie Groundhog Day?  Stop this shit for real.  Wake up, stop thinking about whatever happened yesterday and move on.  Don’t even call the moving company to haul all your old baggage with you.  Nope.  Just get on with life.  Make new memories.
3. Nice people exist.  I have found them.  And at times, I have been one.  I went through a horrible period of time where I wasn’t one and I disliked all happy, nice people.  When you are in pain and chronic pain is your life, you can’t think past the pain at times.  It does change you.  It really does.  But if you are lucky enough to come out on the other side of that, remember how you felt as you interact with those who seem unhappy daily.  Focus on the rare moments they seem happy and compliment them on something…anything.  Trust me, they need it.
4. Good can come through change.  My motto is “Changed people, change people.”  For those of you who read the newsletter, you know this.  I will always live with invisible diseases for the rest of my life.  But how I live is up to me.  If you were dealt a hand that you want to walk away from, start thinking about how you can play the cards.  What can you do that will help others learn from your mistakes?
5. Everybody has their own baggage.  A friend once said to me, “Everyone wants you to get your hands dirty helping them push their own shit cart up the street.”  That one statement changed the way I help people.  I no longer wanted to take on their “stuff” as my own, but sought a way to help my clients see what was really theirs and what they were carting around that might have been accumulated from other people, or even old ways that just weren’t serving them anymore.  It was time to lighten the cart.
6. We make our own happiness.  I was once put in the middle of something that was definitely not my fight…but for some reason, I tried my best to help.  I later realized that I never could have helped, and it was only a matter of time before the outcome imploded on the makers of the situation.  You see, these people relied on things, friends, money, events, gatherings, alcohol, and whatever else was available to be temporarily happy.  That’s like putting a band-aid on a giant wound that needs stitches.  You have to get to the root of the problem and start there.  Peel back the layers.  Use all the tips I talk about.  If you can’t fix it, seek help.  Mental health professionals, yoga, meditation, or something that will soothe your soul, not numb it.  In my wellness coaching, I do my best to let my clients peel back their own layers and start healing.  This is the only way to move forward my friends.  Look within.

6 things happy people do

 

The Secret to Success in Every Area of Your Life…

success

Finding Success Took Me Years…Now You Can Benefit.

Two years ago, I was severely depressed from my illnesses.  I was in pain daily, overweight, and couldn’t find a doctor to help me…other than suggest prescriptions for life to manage my pain.  I knew that I didn’t want to do that, and February of 2014 was when I left the doctor’s office more depressed than ever as I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia…and no treatment.  None, but medicine.  Nothing to address my diet, my life, how I was going to live since I said no to this medicine that could cause more damage to my liver.

But after the sadness passed, I was determined to continue my research into helping myself, and others like me.

Today I want to share with you the one secret I discovered.

I discovered my mind played a key role in all areas of head, heart and health and I learned the secret of using my mind to become a success in every area of my life. Not just mentally, but physically and emotionally as well. It sounds so simple…but it took me almost 17 years to “wake up” and discover that the true hero of my life had to be me. The key to making this happen was getting mad, and forming a plan.

I lost over 25 pounds on my 5’2 inch frame, started moving more…and finally started feeling better. I had truly lost hope of ever feeling better before I mapped out the series of steps that was crucial in changing my life…and never would have imagined that I would make it through 200 hours of Vinyasa Yoga Teacher Training!!

Over the last year, many people in my life have seen this transformation, and have contacted my about my plan.  I do have a line of all-natural supplements that I prefer, but it was so much more than that.  With each step that I took towards wellness, each change that I made, I could feel my spirit lift.  I knew that I was on the right path.

If you have tried everything, or at least you think you have, if you feel like you need a fresh outlook on your life, I am offering coaching packages for the first time online!  I have coached hundreds of people over the last year in my business, but decided to open it up to an online community.  Work with me to help change your life!    <<<<   Click the link there or see the tab at the top of the page!

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Forgive yourself…

You only have to look at the skin on my fingers to realize I might, erm, have some anxiety.  I was reading this long train of comments some of my friends wrote and I realized how it helps to just get it out.  To name what is bothering us.  I have never once regretted a single blog post.  Not even if others read into it.  They own that, not me.  Before “judging” me, they didn’t call me up and say, hey, you know I was wondering about what this part here meant.  Nope.  They also have anxiety, fear, and self-doubt and they let those things control them instead of love.

I think part of the problem can be explained in this quote passage:  Perfectionists are natural ruminators. Julia Cameron writes about this in “The Artist’s Way”:

“Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead. It is a loop–an obsessive, debilitating closed system that causes you to get stuck in the details of what you are writing or painting or making and to lose sight of the whole. Instead of creating freely and allowing errors to reveal themselves later as insights, we often get mired in getting the details right. We correct our originality into a uniformity that lacks passion and spontaneity.”  That can be found in this slide-show about 15 Ways to Stop Obsessing.

Some people, no matter how wrong they are, would rather sit there in their wrongness than accept any responsibility for what happens…because they want to have the last word, or get the “details” right so you can know what you have done wrong.  Unfortunately, after being programmed this way for most of our lives, it takes a strong person to admit they were wrong to begin with.

Lastly, I despise the word judge because we all do it.  There.  I said it.  We do.  Now is the part where you are thinking, I never judge, blah, blah, blah.  I have never, ever met a person who did not even accidentally make a statement without knowing all the facts.  But you are not your thoughts, and it’s okay.  Maybe your mind went there for a second, and maybe it is still there.  The second, minute, or even hour isn’t so bad.  It’s staying there that gets you in that loop.  Forgive yourself.  Forgive others.  Move forward.

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New things…

As this year comes to a close, I reflect on the “new” and would personally like to burn the “old”.  Oh not old friendships or anything like that, but I chose not to dwell in the past as it’s over and we have to take this minute by the hand and hold on for dear life before something tragic happens and the moment is gone.  There have been some horrible things happening in and around my friend’s lives this year and I let it get to me at times.  I have said this before, but when something happens, I actually place myself in that person’s shoes for a minute.  I zone out, and become them for a second.  I imagine what it must feel like to get the news they just heard, or to go through whatever they are going through.  I have tried to stop this process…much like that new movie that is coming out based on an old short story called The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

So far, I have not been very successful.  There was cancer news, deaths of family members and friends, deaths of pets, depression, divorce, loss of homes, illnesses that tear you a part from the inside out, injuries, debt, and the suicide of a high school friend.  I am sure I am forgetting some bad news, but that is why I say I would like to burn the old.  I have held on to my hope as best I could for this year, but another sad thing happened to my brother’s friend on Christmas day.

What I am doing now is pushing through all of that and focusing on my new goals.  Making new friends with the same goals makes my work easier.  Realizing that I know what I want, on the cusp of what will be year 40, yes, that year, does not scare me (getting asked for my ID might help me be less scared, ha).  So I’m going to tell you what I said to my daughter the other day while pumping gas.  I said I want to be financially secure enough to hand out gift cards to people I don’t know, with no strings attached, so that they can buy whatever they need.  Groceries, presents, gas, or just pay doctor bills.  My work with people of poverty reminds me that we still have much to do for those who have fallen on hard times.  One day, I hope to be able to ease someone’s burden.  One day soon.

 

Author’s note:  It is now a few years later.  I gave out lots of different things to people this year in order to be of service to humanity.  I have also developed my own coaching programs to help others, and I am more financially secure than I have been in years.  My Head|Heart|Health Club is going to be taking a great journey this year to look at what we need to change, what we want to create and how we can create more abundance in our lives as well.  I would love to see you there!

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New things…

As this year comes to a close, I reflect on the “new” and would personally like to burn the “old”.  Oh not old friendships or anything like that, but I chose not to dwell in the past as it’s over and we have to take this minute by the hand and hold on for dear life before something tragic happens and the moment is gone.  There have been some horrible things happening in and around my friend’s lives this year and I let it get to me at times.  I have said this before, but when something happens, I actually place myself in that person’s shoes for a minute.  I zone out, and become them for a second.  I imagine what it must feel like to get the news they just heard, or to go through whatever they are going through.  I have tried to stop this process…much like that new movie that is coming out based on an old short story called The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

So far, I have not been very successful.  There was cancer news, deaths of family members and friends, deaths of pets, depression, divorce, loss of homes, illnesses that tear you a part from the inside out, injuries, debt, and the suicide of a high school friend.  I am sure I am forgetting some bad news, but that is why I say I would like to burn the old.  I have held on to my hope as best I could for this year, but another sad thing happened to my brother’s friend on Christmas day.

What I am doing now is pushing through all of that and focusing on my new goals.  Making new friends with the same goals makes my work easier.  Realizing that I know what I want, on the cusp of what will be year 40, yes, that year, does not scare me (getting asked for my ID might help me be less scared, ha).  So I’m going to tell you what I said to my daughter the other day while pumping gas.  I said I want to be financially secure enough to hand out gift cards to people I don’t know, with no strings attached, so that they can buy whatever they need.  Groceries, presents, gas, or just pay doctor bills.  My work with people of poverty reminds me that we still have much to do for those who have fallen on hard times.  One day, I hope to be able to ease someone’s burden.  One day soon.

Take Control