3 Things That Kill Your Dreams (And How To Handle Them)

Dream KillersPeople always told me, “Don’t quit your day job”.  No matter how many times I said, this is not what I went to school for.  I didn’t think it was going to be like this…I am miserable and the stress makes me ill (side note, it literally did make me ill, but probably the black mold and asbestos tiles didn’t help either).  I was a classroom teacher who only ever dreamed of being a writer.

I actually loved the thought of teaching without strings attached and the children if that makes sense…I did not love lots of other things.  So I started thinking to myself, if people don’t 100% love what they are doing every single day, then why not dream bigger?

So what happened when I finally decided to leave teaching and started secretly planning my escape?

3 Dream Killers…and how to handle them:

  1. Everyone will give you constructive criticism, but it’s not really constructive.  It’s what they would do.  People talk from their place of fear.  I did not have another job lined up.  Had no idea how I was going to make it if we dropped my salary.  I did not have a large savings.  There was no safety net.  I am a kind of jump person think later…soooo.  I get told how others would have done x,y,z.  The only thing that mattered to me was am I currently happy in my job?  No.  That was all I needed to know.  So people tried to break down my dream, or give me safety net options…like just take leave for a while.  So I told people that’s what I was doing finally.  But I honestly was not coming back because I believed that strongly in my dream.
  2. Losing friends, status, or ending up an outcast.  I didn’t worry so much about this the first year, because they all thought I might be taking a year off on one of those awesome things called a “sabbatical”.  If you tell people using special jargon, they are okay with it for some reason.  Ohh, hmm.  Okay, it’s a sabbatical.  However, eventually people started saying things like “Are you ever coming back?” or “Are you really making money?”  See, I had been teaching long enough to get a pin for being there a while, and then I left.  I sacrificed the next level of pin.  I was totally okay with this.  We sacrificed a few things that were wants not needs at home.  My family was okay with this.  And if I lost friends because of this, then they really weren’t my friends to begin with and I was equally okay with this as well.  I made new friends and forged new relationships in this new world of writing.
  3. Fear of failure, being laughed at or making mistakes.  I left 3 years ago, and the first year was the most exciting; however, it was also the year I had to remember to calm down and not go overboard with trying to fit everything I wanted to accomplish in 1 year.  Overnight success might seem like a thing, but I knew it was not the case.  I had to get more established and build trust.  I wasn’t going to find the next viral blog post in a year.  Or year two either…it took year three, but I was learning and I was growing.  I was teaching myself how to think like a business woman and to stop treating my dream like a hobby.  There was no other option in my mind by this point except to succeed at what I was doing.

What helped me turn the dream into a reality?

It was not a hobby.  It was a job.  I finally learned that lesson and took back my old office instead of writing on the sofa with my laptop.  I set up appointments, collaborations, and meetings internationally on Skype.  I said yes to things that scared the hell out of me…like meeting some of my new friends face-to-face overseas by accepting the offer of speaking internationally.  I created workshops with my local friend who really treated her business like a business, and I was grateful to be able to watch her say yes only to things that would propel her in the direction she wanted to go (P.S. she made the free meditation for you guys on my newsletter).  I read books from women I admired who did scary things…like Danielle LaPorte, and I breathed in her style.

I did not create the safety net for myself because I didn’t want to fall back on it.  I wanted to keep going and try new paths should the one I was on not work out.  Some way, some how, I was going to make this new business work.  I could actually be a writer, yoga teacher, wellness advocate, entrepreneur mom and follow my heart.  Start thinking of your dream daily and journal how it would feel to make it a reality.

sparkling

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Stop listening to fear.

Stop Listening to Fear.

Originally published last July 2014.

Procrastination.  Excuses.  Reasons why your path looks like Billy’s from The Family Circus when he had a job to do.  I don’t want to hear it.  We all know deep down what’s holding us back and usually it has one name.  Fear.  You need to pull a Bruce Willis on that thing and just go for it.

Things do come up.  I know they do.  But if you let these “things” get in the way of your goals, then your life will become a string of excuses.  I meant to do that, but…   We were going to, but…  I’m not saying I don’t have my own fears because I do.  I certainly do.  It’s just that I am ridiculous when it comes to them and do stupid things to get over them so I can move on.  Like the time I got bit by a snake, then was afraid of snakes for a while.  So then I volunteered at the local Virginia Living Museum, and learned how to stick my hand in a pillow case and pull out a snake.  Yes.  True story.  I also learned how to identify which ones were venomous in my area.

Quitting my job when I had no extra income was like sticking my hand in that pillow case.  I knew when I went on my “sabbatical” I was never going back.  I knew I needed more.  Starting my business was that more.  I love getting messages from clients asking me for help.  That’s brave of them as well.  They have tried lots of things to lose weight, feel better, get healthy, but for whatever reason, fear, they need a little extra help.  And that’s ok.  I did too!!  I was afraid I was going to stay stuck at my old weight forever.  When I got on the scale and realized how much I weighed compared to old me, I was shocked.  At 5’2 I knew I needed to get a handle on it.

When I put all my research skills into formulating a plan that worked best for my diseases and body, I knew I was finally on the right track in December.  I have now lost 15 pounds, but I am not done.  I have 6 more to go, and the extra 21 will be gone.  I am going to be adding yoga back into my routine again and I will also write about that.  I have been being a taxi cab, so I made excuses why I didn’t make it to yoga.  I sat down today and wrote out the yoga schedule so it was in front of my face!!! I know that going back worries me.  I am afraid it will hurt because of my existing pain, but I know that it will help me.  I have researched exercises for fibromyalgia and this is one of them.  So, I’m going to pull a Die Hard and go for it.  Stick your hand in that pillow case folks.  Go for it!!

No fear

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