Practicing the Pause Before You Speak.

Social Media can either uplift, inspire, amplify, influence, or shift your moods in the most positive ways; likewise, it can show division, hate, disrespect, ignorance, greed, falsifications, and ways that people think they are living in a much better way than their fellow-man by putting others down. Using words like “all” and “everyone who ever did this__”, and hashtags folks have found which are derogatory, so they feel better in that one moment maybe being part of the mean hashtag club.  In light of many recent events, I just encourage you to practice the pause right now brothers and sisters. The pause is important.

Are you alienating people you once broke bread with? Are your words in hate and anger more important the human being?  Do you feel better arguing on social media or perhaps by doing so you are becoming the very thing you are so vehemently denying?

I spoke to you guys this week on my page about a few things and people commented that I looked a bit tired…maybe sad even.  The leaders/clergy/healers of the world have a lot on their shoulders right now and they aren’t perfect either.  Whatever religion, beliefs, or views you have, I want you to think about a few things before getting into a debate with others on social media.

3 Ways to Practice the Pause:

Is it True?  (How would you know for sure) Is it Necessary? (Is it adding value to your feed) Is it Kind? (if the answer is no…)  This is actually pretty interesting as it comes from a book of Victorian Poems called Miscellaneous Poems by Mary Ann Pietzker published in 1872.  Here is an excerpt:

Is It True? Is It Necessary? Is It Kind?

Oh! Stay, dear child, one moment stay,

Before a word you speak,

That can do harm in any way

To the poor, or to the weak;

And never say of any one

What you’d not have said of you,

Ere you ask yourself the question,

“Is the accusation true?”

And if ’tis true, for I suppose

You would not tell a lie;

Before the failings you expose

Of friend or enemy:

Yet even then be careful, very;

Pause and your words well weigh,

And ask it be necessary,

What you’re about to say.

And should it necessary be,

At least you deem it so,

Yet speak not unadvisedly

Of friend or even foe,

Till in your secret soul you seek

For some excuse to find;

And ere the thoughtless word you speak,

Ask yourself, “Is it kind?”

 

So, my thought is this.  If you are out there shouting the words of someone who does not practice the pause, and deliberately provoking people you once considered a friend, how are you being different from what you are shouting about?  To be honest, I expect those of you reading this do, in fact, practice the pause.  We can only work to change ourselves and most often I have found those who are actively working to change themselves, will reflect on this and think about it in more than one aspect.

Because I want you to have more than one take away here, especially if this brought to mind certain people in your life, I was doing research on how anger affects the brain (for my Club content), and this wonderful PDF is free so while I wanted to share this with my Club, I also want you to have it today.

In a nutshell, the research from The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine outlines how stress hormones affect your body.  Those of you with heart problems acting in anger will elevate your heart rate, blood pressure will rise, arterial tension rises, blood glucose level and blood fatty acid levels will rise as well.  I don’t want you to basically have a stroke over your anger and reactivity.  I also don’t want your headaches to increase (have you noticed that), your stomach to be upset, and your immune system to be weakened all because of how you are reacting to stress.

If this helped you in any way, here are a few tips on how to practice a simple meditation.  <<  Thank you my friends.  I wish you good health.

5 Ways to Beat Envy…

In a time when Fakebook reigns supreme, it can be difficult to see past the rose-colored Fakebook statuses.  Trending on the side is all about famous people.  The Holidays have people talking all about presents and what they are doing and blabbity blah blah.  Sometimes you just might want to slap someone.  I know that it’s difficult when you can read between the lines too.  Anyway, let’s work on ourselves shall we?  Let’s leave all this behind and think about what might be causing our feelings of envy, and when you can’t beat em’ join em’.  What does this mean exactly?  I will tell you.

Get to the root cause of where your envy comes from.  Do you want more friends?  Do you want to have a relationship that’s loving and worth investing time in?  Do you think you are supposed to be married by now and it drives you crazy when others get engaged?  What exactly is it that’s bugging you?  I once had someone tell me they un-followed me because I was too happy.  TOO HAPPY.  WHAT the actual F?  Did they read my about me on here?  hahaha.  But anyway, I guess even I can make some people want what I have.  That’s an interesting thought…and perhaps you don’t realize what you have either.

  1. Look beyond the “Shiny Happy People” status.  I am going to be honest…I know people who post all doom and gloom shit and I just have no desire to keep reading this.  It’s the same thing day after day.  Likewise we all know people who post really “Shiny” statuses.  What we have to remember is that maybe, for whatever reason, they added their boss and co-workers on Fakebook and want to look like they love their jobs every day so they don’t get fired.  True story.
  2. What do you feel like you are missing out on?  Do your friends post photos of themselves going out and you don’t get invited?  Ask them to hang out!  If they make excuses, ermmm it’s time for new friends and then that problem is solved.  No “friends” should make other friends jealous, feel left out, or feel put in the middle of things by not being invited when all your other friends are.  Period.  That’s on them.  Not you!!
  3. Don’t keep up with the Jones’s.  Jonsi.  Joneses.  Those people.  Unplug from social media if it’s starting to get to you or un-follow their asses.  Well, them too, but if their asses make you envious, just hide.  Hahaha.  Like you can hide a Kardashian’s ass, but you know what I mean.  I don’t read gossip magazines and I don’t know what’s the latest thing and/or whatnots, but I do know that people like to be praised.  They like attention.  So they post things sometimes for that reason.  Would x,y,z that they are posting make you happy?  Why?  Then think about ways you can do something for yourself.
  4. Don’t give in to the dark side.  So just because you occasionally mumble things like “karma” under your breath doesn’t mean you are a bad person.  You have not become a major Sith Lord for thinking these thoughts.  Guess what?  These thoughts are human and it’s okay.  Just acknowledge them and then deal with them in a logical way.  Go a little bit deeper within and think about what it is you personally want to achieve that is causing these feelings to come out.  If it’s that you think the person doesn’t deserve x,y,z and that’s why you are mumbling karma, well maybe.  But that isn’t for you to decide.  You just keep on focusing on your goals.
  5. You are dy-no-mite!  Seriously, if you want Good Times ahead, you have to remember that you are worthy.  See what I did there?  No, maybe not.  Anyway, you truly are someone to be proud of and it’s possible that you don’t realize people are un-following you because they are tired of seeing your happiness.  I know, it’s weird.  But you never know.  What 3 things are you really proud of in your life right now or grateful for?  Think about that and go from there.  You can rise above and create the life you want!!

some people

 

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Politics…or the art of sticking your foot in your mouth

In the days of social media, it becomes harder and harder for me to keep quiet.  You see, I have friends of every type, shape, size, color, religion, and political background.  I like it that way.  I do not want to surround myself with like-minded friends as life would certainly get boring.  That being said, I caught someone’s post yesterday that really surprised me as I thought this person was intelligent.  Intelligent is defined as “having or indicating a high or satisfactory degree of intelligence and mental capacity.”  This intelligent person blamed Sarah Palin for the shooting outside of a store that critically wounded Rep. Giffords and killed 5 others including a 9-year-old child.  So as a mom, wife, and teacher, I find it hard to believe that Palin helped this sick 22-year-old plan this attack.  The people posting this type of nonsense are aiding in this guy’s delusions of grandeur.  They will be the ones to help propel his act of terrorism into the limelight as he so clearly wants attention.  It was brought to my attention that the 22-year-old madman was thinking like Charles Guiteau.  Now, I honestly had to research him and find out what he did in history.  I am not going to enlighten you as to why he compared them, but instead I challenge you to read about it yourself.  My job is to teach, as so teach I shall; however, you need to see both sides of the picture before you spout off at the mouth about things that make no logical sense.  If you have the mental capacity to challenge yourself to think outside the box, please do so.  I ask only that you fully research what you say and think about the implications before you incite a riot.

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.” ~Ernest Benn