I don’t know about you, but I am very thankful to see the start of a new month. I feel bogged down by all of that old month’s nonsense somehow. Like “get it out of here already” and let’s begin fresh. Although to be perfectly honest, it could have to do with looking at your bank account at the end of the month and seeing how many “friends” you have in there and wanting them to invite more friends over there so you know, it’s not lonely.
So whee, start of a new month. I feel re-charged with the first day in a new month. Like it has its own energy and I am going to plug into that. So I wanted to share with you my tips on how you can use this in your own life.
For inquiring minds, it doesn’t matter if you are single, have kids, don’t have kids, have pets, have no pets except for dust bunnies, whatever. This really relies on you. I need you to get that concept like you need air to breathe. The start of changing and re-charging is always up to you and it can be done at anytime you choose. So with that in mind…here we go.
5 Things to Start to Re-charge:
- Embrace the morning. Look. I get it. I actually do considering I have the Vampire disease and I really am a night person, but I have been setting my alarm clock back 5, 10, then 15 minutes earlier. Why? What does this do for you? First, please use a real alarm clock. Everyone who watches my videos knows I say this. It gives back the power and takes it away from your phone. Any number of things can and do go wrong with technology anyway, but the worst is checking out what everyone else is doing before you check in with yourself. << Busted. Seriously. The urge to check-in on social media is an addiction that only you can start to change when you get fully centered in your own routines that don’t involve the phone being the first thing you check.
- Start with gratitude. So this morning, as the sleepiness was wearing off, and I stretched in bed, I was thankful for my favorite flannel sheets that I use no matter what the temperature is outside. I embraced my eyes opening, and said thank you for today. I did a body scan quickly, and told my body how I wanted it to act today. << This is something I teach in my club about the power of positive thinking and using it to manifest the desires we wish to see come true in our lives. It’s kind of a long story about how I used to feel when I woke up, but for those of you who are new here, feel free to read this later >> About me <<. I continued to say thank you for the blessings in my life as I got out of bed.
- Have a plan for your meals. I start this off when school starts again in the fall because in the summer, its fresh veggies and fend for yourself. However, there’s strength in planning as you don’t see the worst foods in your fridge and grab those…well if you do, it’s at least because you wanted it instead of there was nothing to eat. I am certified in sports nutrition, but even I struggle with staying on track. Because I am gluten intolerant and do still have autoimmune disease, I get that life isn’t always fair. So in order to go around that thinking, I have everything that supports me fully in front of me. Like 5 foods to boost my mood <<< Read later:) A new month means a new plan for my fridge, which oddly enough, makes me feel so good!
- Move your body! People who are not used to exercise are often drawn to my style of group coaching. Why? Because I get that you don’t want to move when you are in pain, but the benefits outweigh the negatives. So this summer, I started a new program for myself and I was in some pain of my own making. And you know what? That actually feels freaking amazing compared to the pain of dis-ease. My youngest daughter started to run cross-country as well and her results have been amazing. Her entire energy changed. She came home full of those great “runner’s high” endorphins and her entire mood was different. She was doing things she didn’t think she could do so naturally this boosted her head, heart and health. Get your friends, fam and anyone else out there walking with you. No one said you have to start big, and if you need help, check out my baby steps program >>> 4 Weeks to Wellness <<< for a great start to your month.
- End your day with journaling. The research on this alone is astounding as some of you know that I am a former teacher who loves brain based research. Since starting my own personal journal practice in 2015, my life has changed for the better. when thoughts struggle to overtake me, I do my yoga breathing, get centered and journal it all out. I create my world based on how I want it to be and I start to remove my own blocks on paper. The research on this is that we are using language more and thinking about how to remove these blocks thus improving our immune function as well. << Seriously. Writing also has critical connections to speaking, and your communication improves from the “dumbing down” we have seen do to technology and using abbreviations. << Don’t be mad, it’s not my research, but it is true. You can use this technique with your entire family if you want and measure the results in as little as 3 months. Memory starts to improve, comprehension, and more.
If you are interested in getting the best of my journaling bundle, I put together some of my best resources for you to take advantage of only until the end of this month. >>> Journaling Bundle <<< The bundle discount ends soon.
I really hope this inspires you to start living your best life right now. I know that if I can do it, and turn my life around, so can you. ~Aimee
What is a doormat personality? It is someone who believes they are actually unworthy of boundaries. The people pleasing behavior is there and it doesn’t ruffle feathers. There is a desire to be accepted that is so strong that it seems to override the part of the brain that says “Hey, you are better than this. Say something!”
Where does this come from? It could come from a past history of feeling abandoned, ridiculed to the point of low self-esteem, or it could actually just be there with one particular person for reasons unknown to you, but you recognize it, and want things to change.
As we work towards healing the doormat ways, you have to understand that this is not an overnight process, but a work in progress, and that’s perfectly okay. Once you have recognized the signs, know that there are things you can do to change yourself, but not the other person. You can only ever work to change yourself and this is a key factor here. The other person will not change, so repeat this to yourself.
It is important to recognize these 3 key thought patterns and work on yourself, not them.
3 Tips on Healing the Doormat Ways:
- Recognize when you are going into victim mentality. It might be like this in your head “I am not at fault here. I had nothing to do with that.” Sometimes, the truth is hard. It is harder still when you start to look at the facts of what is happening objectively and you actually see your involvement in a situation. Maybe you haven’t been all that clear in your interactions with someone and you thought that things were implied. This leads to you not having to take a stand and then it loops back around to the victim thinking. You never actually had to say out loud how you felt, but it was implied, therefore you didn’t actually have to involve yourself in life’s disappointments and feelings. I know that sound complicated right now, but think about it. Does everyone know where they stand with you when you feel disappointed? Next time, use I feel statements. I feel cornered when you don’t call ahead and just show up here asking me to babysit. It puts me in a difficult situation. There. It’s out. Not implied.
- Set boundaries that you admire. We are each responsible for our own boundaries, and sometimes we “wish” we could be like someone else. So if you admire someone and how they handle situations, think about what it is that you actually admire. Do you like the way they say no without apologizing? Write that down on a list. Do you like the way they tell their friends that their kids can’t ruin their couch by eating on it? Write it down. Maybe it’s how they handle relationships and boundaries. Now apply these thoughts to your life. No, we can’t change other people nor can we become other people, but we can take some cues from them and start to apply the good parts to our own lives. In this situation remember this, the clearer you are on what you want to allow in your life and what you want to repel from your life, the clearer your energy is. Your thoughts, actions and body language will start to reflect it. You are working on you. No one else is going to do this for you. So use this list only to work on yourself, your actions, and your thoughts.
- Start learning how to detach from approval. This one is going to take some time and will not happen overnight. Grab your journal and write approval in the middle of the page. What does it feel like to you? Circle it and branch off with why you want it, how it feels, and what it does for you. Okay, good. Next, write dislike on a page. How does that feel? Branch off, and keep going. What is the worst thing that can happen if you are disliked? Did you write it down? This part is going to be uncomfortable as growth often is. Growth can be disguised as struggle and pain. So for just a minute, think about how it is going to feel when you start to stand up for yourself. And then you keep doing it over and over again. Interestingly enough, the feelings of standing up for yourself will be similar to the ones under the approval cluster. Only this time, you will have created those feelings for yourself.
As you begin to make this change to your inner self, your outer self will start to reflect it as well. Note that people in your life, especially narcissistic ones, are not going to like this change and they might start to fall away…and that’s okay. You are now learning how to meet your own needs and make boundaries that are appropriate for you, not them. You might start to see less of them, and eventually not see them at all. The people who are meant to be in your life will now have more of a clear space and that my friend, is where you will find peace and balance. Looking for more tips on creating balance in your life and taking back your life? Check out the >> Club with Soul. << where journal therapy, meditations, yoga poses for beginners (even if you have never tried it and don’t move much), and tutorials are available to you 24/7.
I make it a habit to read and respond to everyone personally while I still can on my Facebook Fan Page. There used to be 80 fans, and while I am approaching 80,000 on the page, this blog is where the meat is. Someone said “If only it were that F-word easy” on one of my posters the other day. Here is the interesting thing…it can be that F-word easy. It can.
However, I have to tell you angry sister, I do understand you. I would love for you to read my about me here or my early posts about going to the doctor’s every week, but I am personally not going back there right now. I understand commenting from a place of pain. I do. I understand sitting on the couch with tears running down your face because the physical pain is wearing you down mentally. And as hard as it is, let’s get up, out of our pajamas, as I tell you on my videos, and make a damn plan. If you do the little things first and get them out-of-the-way, we can tackle the big things later.
5 Tips to Make Life Easier:
- Let go of yesterday’s pain. Emotionally, you might have spoken from a place of pain or anger. Make yourself a cup of tea, and if you can fix whatever happened, set about making it right. If not, let go. Light a candle, put on your favorite music, and sit down and visualize your best self. It is somewhat like meditation, but I do this with my own pain. I visualize that it is gone and in its place is the best version of me possible. I have had help with this process, because I also journal the best version of myself and how I want to feel. It does help me release the feelings that are residual from 18 years of pain. I mean come on, I didn’t think it was ever going to be like pressing the easy button.
- Do not, in any way shape or form, revert to victim mentality if you can help it. What I mean here is don’t feel sorry for yourself or blame others. I am purely talking about taking back control from those you have given your power too. I understand the suffering of pain. As we search for a way to protect ourselves from it, we climb deeper inside and cling to it being something that has happened to us. Instead of embracing it as something that is currently part of us. Once we name this fear, pain, anger and recognize that it really is part of us right now, we can learn to shift away from it as a feeling we don’t want to feel right now. That is what I did with my pain. I used yoga to shift away even as I embraced the pain of the movements. To further explain, here is what I did. I could not hold down dog at first. The pain in my wrists was so great that I would inwardly berate myself at first. I focused on the pain. As I learned to shift from that to the breath, I began to have a revelation. The pain would lessen if only for a bit. By the end of my 200 hour yoga teacher training, the pain was a dull ache in my lower back and shoulders, where it had been a raging inferno consuming me before my journey.
- Get stronger. This can be mentally, physically, and spiritually. Really, it can be done. I had every uplifting book known to man. I had CD’s. I despised all those people. Yup. I did. Until I realized that wasn’t going to change my situation. They were not to blame because they were able to get over x, y, z that they wrote about (insert what is causing you to feel weak). I decided that I needed to be stronger. I wrote more in my journal about what i wanted to feel. I continued my yoga practice, and I surrounded myself with the types of people I needed in my life. The ones doing the exact same thing I was. MOVING on.
- Find the right people to lift you up. So this has to be next, because I have written about moving past the energy vampires before. You can’t expect to move on without any energy. If you have people taking, taking, taking, maybe a tiny give back to keep you there, but then taking, taking, taking again. It’s time to create that distance I have spoken of. Start getting to exercise class if it’s for you, or paint nights. Meditation groups, yoga, or anything that does not include talking about your pain and suffering. Leave that for your counselor. Move on with your friends. Does that mean you can’t ever talk about it? No. It doesn’t. But look at what you are trying to become and step into it completely so you have a fighting chance.
- Be consistent in your steps. If at all possible, don’t revert back to “Woe is me.” Do I do that sometimes? Hell yes. Then I call a friend and say “Slap me like in Moonstruck if I say…” then we go on about our day. I also try to do that for my clients as well. Ermm, not the slapping part. But I tell them the truth. The truth is so hard sometimes, but I say it anyway. Always. Because I want to be consistent in my steps and part of that is owning my truth and knowing when I have started slipping backwards. It is important to continue on the journey forward with slow and steady steps if need be, but at least I am making progress.
Dear friends, do you need more help? Each month we work on raising our vibrations in the Head|Heart|Health Club. I would love to have you join us!