5 Ways to Strengthen Your Energy Right Now!

Like a battery, you feel completely drained.  Depending on what’s going on around you, you feel like you haven’t the energy you once possessed.  Could you be getting sick?  It’s possible.  But I want you to take a look at a few things first.

Have you ever noticed that being in the presence of someone truly and miraculously seems to lift you up?  After spending time with that person, you come home humming, or want to do things you might normally not even think about doing?  Just think for a moment if there is such a person like this who is your lift force.  I have spoken about this before during my talks and written about it before, but if you have your journal, you can even take a page and think for a moment about all the supportive people you have around you.

Likewise, we are now going to draw our attention to something that energetically feels so draining that we can’t wait to escape their presence.  The drag force.  When I speak of this during my talks, I actually have to roll my shoulders as my back gets tight.

There was once a time I felt well, except that I constantly felt drained by someone’s presence.  I would go to work happy and content, and then this person would tell me every one of her problems…repeatedly.  There was never a solution that worked or a way out…or so it seemed. How did I find a way out of the draining cycle?

5 Ways to Strengthen Your Energy:

  1. It sounds like a cliché, I know, but your vibe really does attract your tribe.  Yogananda called this phenomenon “the law of invisible vibratory exchange.”  It is vitally important that you understand this principle to be true as you start building up your “lift force” around you.  Make your list in your private journal of who really lifts you up.  Once you become aware of the energy, you can start to see a pattern where you have dips or energy loss after being near someone who is more of a drag force, or negative influence on you.  ** See the note at the end!
  2. It is important that if you have to come in contact with a negative force, you get grounded before and after the visit.  As you center your thoughts, you can imagine being protected as you come in contact with that person.  Read more on the above link as well, but make sure that you keep your contact to as short a time as possible.  What happens if you live with a negative force?  Enroll in yoga, meditation, or a group activity where the people around you have a like-minded goal.  There is more under my Head|Heart|Health tab for an online community as well where keeping our heads clear and our hearts on how we want to feel is the end goal to overall wellness.
  3. Listen to music that moves your soul and uplifts your heart.  On one of my other talks, I showed the difference between me normally when I come on the FB Live show, and me after listening to the Bee Gees.  <<< yes.  I love to sing with them.  But seriously, think about the song “Good Vibrations” by the Beach Boys.  Ever thought about it?  It really does raise your vibration with the right tune.
  4. Be conscious of what you put in your body.  During my 4 Weeks to Wellness class, I talk about nutrition and the effects of sugar on the body.  I know people are going to be coming after me when I take away their sweets, but that’s why I train you to look for the hidden ingredients and do it for yourself.  This has to be done on your own time and it has to be something you want in order to move forward and feel better.
  5. Know how you want to feel.  Again, this one might sound simple, but do you know how you want to feel each day?  What are your weekly goals and how are you working to create a life that is working FOR you…not against you.  With a few small tweaks to your everyday routine, you can learn to block the energy of others by focusing more on what you want each day.  Getting clear on your thoughts before coming in contact with someone who might try to dis-rail your progress is imperative in strengthening your energy.

Do you need more uplifting folks in your life?  Come find us at any time!  >>> I need to raise my energy! <<<

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Procrastination and the dreaded “resolutions”…3 tips to overcome it!

I know that at the end of each year, millions of people resolve to do better next year.   The problem is, resolve means steadfastness, and we let many things get in the way of that resolve.  Procrastination has become our safety net, trust me I know.

But what if we traded in that safety net, for true results?  What would happen?

We’d actually get things done.  We’d stop listening to fear and self-doubt.  We’d have to be accountable.  Ack.  Those things by themselves are scary.  Scary feet. Scary feet. Scary feet.  <<< Sully would approve of you being scared.

Unfortunately, if you are reading this, we have hit the grown up stage and the responsibilities that come with that are often too much for us in our heads, so we fall back on fear.  I understand.  I have been there many times.  So what changed for me?

3 tips to overcome procrastination:

  1. Create clearly defined goals…and then look to see if you can break them down even further.  In my new online community, I was talking about how to really get clear on what you want and then step back and see if it can be even more clear.  After we have created these crystal clear steps to your end result, make sure you know how realistic they are.  For example, one goal might be making more money.  Okay, so how much?  If you are on the path to millions, is that realistic right this very minute?  Maybe you can have a goal to make $100 more this pay period.  At the end of the year, you can have your big goal of making x amount of dollars.  Try not to write out that your goal is to get to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
  2. Minimize the path to distractions…engage in community support.  As I was on the path to wellness, the community around me was not very supportive.  I had to change my focus as many of you have heard me say time and time again.  It actually became my most popular quote and my tag line, but I truly believe “Surround yourself with what you want to become.” << Okay, my original quote was a bit longer, but of course, I will put it at the end for you.  But let’s think about your distractions.  Write them out if you have to.  Map out your pitfalls like you are Indiana Freaking Jones and this is the Temple of Doom.  Write out snakes, those might be the people trying to bring you down.  “Why’d it have to be snakes?”  And then the booby traps, that might be the triple chocolate cake your friend ordered right in front of you.  The nerve.  Then what is going to save you from the pit?  Who or what is your rope vine that comes right as you need it?  Support.  Find that group of people who will be there for you.
  3. Get to a safe environment…whew.  After you have made it out of distraction zone, what are you going to do next?  Sticky notes.  I didn’t invent them though, but I use them.  So here are a few ways to help yourself with notes.  Get your planner ready and write in what you need to do.  Clean your desk area into one that is organized and less “Pig Pen” like.  Physically remove old to-do lists.  Streamline your tasks into today and by the end of today.  Don’t look at the overall month right now…that can be your future log.  Make certain you are holding yourself accountable or use the S.O.S. option if you are in my closed group. <<< that’s where you get to ask me for help on 1 specific thing before Thursday of each week.  It might show up as a blog post.  You never know:)

I really believe in you!  If I can do this, I know you can.  See the previous article called You Can Get Through This, because life is not a race. It’s a journey, and we are all trying to get through it the best we know how.

Here is your reminder, from me.  With much love:

Stop Approval Seeking Behavior With These 5 Steps

Take 3 deep breaths.  Think back on your childhood and things you did to get attention.  Were they good behaviors to be seen as the good child or were they naughty actions to be seen as someone who needed to be scolded and constantly reminded to try better?  No matter which route you took, or even a combination, you were probably trying to win approval from the adults around you.  Depending on the reactions you got, it further reinforced this behavior.

I am going to be honest, as a child, I don’t know if I just liked the bad route or if I got used to being told “Stop that Aimee.  Go to your room.”  But I probably thought that was my name for a while.  Gotoyourroom.  <<< my name.  So I got used to lots of alone time and introspection.  Not a bad thing, really, but I did want to fit in as I got older.

Apparently, we have been wired since before time, seriously, to be a “pack” or a group.  It used to be linked to survival just like in animals, but times have changed.  We aren’t trying to forage in the cold wilderness and seek shelter.  We have evolved; however, someone forgot to tell us that.  We are still seeking that pack acceptance…the need to fit in.

At home we want our parents, siblings, and relatives to like us.  We genuinely want to have love and with love, we feel like we have to have that approval.  That doting grandma beaming at our accomplishments creating the shrine to how great we are.  Saving that last bite of special cake for us.  This does not always happen.  Ha.  Sometimes, we are the black sheep.  Baaaa.

At work we want our co-workers to give us high-fives in the hallway.  Our boss to nod at us in respect and say things like “You saved the x account today.  Single handed.  It was all you.”  You want that Elle Woods moment in the court room where everyone thought you weren’t paying attention, but you were smarter than you looked.  But the truth is, sometimes your life is more like Friends where Chandler has worked at his office for years and not a soul knows what he does.

You ask yourself questions each and every night like:

  • Will I still be liked if I am 15 pounds heavier?
  • What if I don’t wear the exact right outfit to work tomorrow?  Will they laugh at me?
  • What if I stand up and say no to something that is wrong with this policy at work?  Will I get fired?
  • What if I answer truthfully because I am really tired of how I have been treated…will I still have love/respect/a place in this world?
  • What if I was honest?

You, my friend, are creating the pressure for yourself.

5 Steps to Stop Seeking the Approval of Others:

  1. Firstly, what is it you actually want out of the relationship?  Ask yourself what the end goal is and if you seeking approval is going to produce that or help you in any way.  The answer might even surprise you.  Journal it right now.  You can do this in a variety of ways.  Put the desired result in the middle of a bubble and your actions all around it that will produce the result, or just write about it.
  2. Identify what emotion or result you were seeking from the above exercise.  If the answer is acceptance, ask yourself if you fully accept yourself right now as you are.  Faults and all.  If the answer is love, take a good hard look in the mirror.  Are you worthy of love?  Of course you are.  No past mistakes are bad enough that you are not worthy of loving yourself.  Your subconscious is likely remembering language from your childhood.  “Why are you always bad?”  “You aren’t good enough…”  “Why can’t you be more like so and so.”  <<< So and so is now in jail.  Or has had a rough life because everyone thought they were so great.  It’s time we move our inner child past these experiences with some loving kindness to ourselves.  You can heal these wounds by noticing every time you think these thoughts and allowing yourself to replace them with the mantra “I am worthy of love.  I am enough.”  Write this in your journal.
  3. Take baby steps.  In any good program they say things like “Well, it took you 9 months to gain that weight…” or whatever, but we forget the months and expect immediate results.  When I deal with clients who are in a rush, I watch their language.  What they are willing to change and work on right now without expecting to change over night always tells me more about themselves than they realize.  Are they being honest with themselves?  Are they willing to do the work?  <<< 2 great questions to ask yourself.  Don’t attach yourself to a certain place, friend, job, promotion etc. without seeing all the steps it takes to make it work.  Your self-worth is also not tied up in the fact that sometimes things simply don’t work out.  Not trying to throw anyone under the bus, but take teacher of the year.  It was not ever based on merit in my school district.  One lady won because she was not actually at work all year.  True story.  She was ill, and people were glad she was better.  While I get this, truly I do, other people were so wrapped up in winning that they talked about this for months.  It was never in your control.  Period.  Let. It. Go. Be like Elsa.
  4. On that note, learn to take rejection.  Things happen.  Let’s think back to the first time you faced rejection.  Hmmm.  I got it.  My school team (back then it was called Olympics of the Mind), came really close to winning the top prize and going to state, which was a big deal to my 5th grade self.  Sadly, we lost.  But we all had a great deal of fun and our performance was very unique.  We got to work together on the props and I made new friends.  I still talk to those people today…some x number of years I won’t name later.  Fast forward to being observed as a teacher.  UGH.  I could not stand it because there were so many factors out of my control.  Would x kid act like his lost his mind today?  Definitely.  Would such and such say something embarrassing?  Yes.  Always.  But what could I control?  Me.  Myself.  And I.  I would visualize the lesson going perfectly, having the correct responses, and being prepared.  Sometimes it worked…sometimes I had to say you know what?  I will try again tomorrow.  <<< always remember you can try again.  Something better might be coming from that rejection and you never even saw it coming.
  5. Lastly, remember you are always learning.  Focus on you and only you.  Learn to be like the cool new Michael Phelps meme out there.  It looks like this:Micheal_phelpsBut it says winners focus on winning.  Losers focus on winners.  Or something like that:)  I know many, many people who are constantly checking on what others are doing.  Do you think the people out there doing things are thinking about them?  Nope.  Have a “growth mindset” where you know you have some things to learn, but looking at other people and where they are is not going to help you.  Only focus on you and your path.

powerWant to work with me on changing yourself in a self-guided course?  More on that here.  Also see Head|Heart|Health for more.

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5 Ways to Spot an Emotional Manipulator

Sometime back, I decided I needed to take better measures to protect myself from what I sensed were emotional manipulators.  I did things people thought I would never do.  I MOVED ON.  Seriously.  I got my journal, my yoga, my meditation ladies, my new circle of friends who lifted everyone up and then moved the hell away from the nasty black hole feelings I got from other people.  I became “different” apparently.  Or not.  If my spidey sense was fully open and I used my sense motive check on the person and found their motives to be dishonest, I moved on.  I could physically no longer take it anymore.  So how did I spot some of the people I needed to get away from?

5 Ways to Spot an Emotional Manipulator

  1. Whatever is wrong in your life…their life is ten times worse, so they turn it back to them.  If you are going through something, they are going through something far worse and make it a point to let you know that.  Over and over and over again.  Now your stuff could actually be life-threatening…but their mental drama is far worse.  It’s difficult to talk to them about anything seriously hard in your life, because whatever it is, you know they will turn it back to what they are going through.  How bad their “shit” is.
  2. It is never their fault.  Ever.  After months of listening to them turn every conversation around back to their stuff, they seem to have the same problem over and over again.  Naturally, it is everyone around them and not them.  They never start anything…it’s the world.  They tell you this story to get you to feel sorry for them and they do a great job at it.  But when you offer practical solutions to this “problem” they can’t be bothered to actually try anything to move forward.  Thus repeating the cycle.
  3. They use ridiculous phrases that make no sense, yet somehow they weave guilt into the words.  Whatever you do or say is never enough.  You have no idea how to help anymore because you have tried everything yet they still say phrases like “you just don’t know how this feels.”  Here is the KICKER.  They repeatedly ask you for help, but not in so many words and when you finally try to help them, they say they didn’t ask for your help.  WHAT the actual F Bomb.  So then, because of this great and enormous problem they have created in order for you to feel sorry for them in this continual loop, for thinking you might should help them because they seem to want that support from you over and over…when you do try to help, it wasn’t what they wanted.
  4. They lower your vibration repeatedly.  This one can be felt as soon as you walk into a room with one of these people.  You immediately put your guard up…but you feel it.  You feel like you have to raise their emotional state because you are thrown off-balance.  The same story they cling to has now become part of their very fabric.  It reaches out to pull you down to that level.  Each and every time.  This co-dependent cloak they wear will rob you of your ability to realize you are not them or their problems.  You actually can leave this situation.
  5. They shrink back when you shine.  You find them not happy for what is going on in your life…and you have no idea why.  So overtime, as things in your life improve, the life they are leading takes a turn for the worse as a last desperate measure to keep you there with them.  This might be where they start to tell others more lies…as you have gotten this feeling all along, but know that if the feeling keeps getting worse, the end is near.  It takes a strong person to see these things for what they are…and the knowledge that there was nothing you could have done differently because they created a world where they wanted to be saved repeatedly, but not really get out of victim mentality.

Continue to focus on the positive things going on in your life and don’t feel guilty for moving forward.  Always do what is best for you so that you can continue becoming who you were really meant to be.

walk awayWould love to have you in the closed group so that you can work more on your boundaries.  Check out the tab at the top called Head|Heart|Health Club.  Don’t be afraid to shine!!

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Stop Using the Word Judge.

I looked up the word “judge” and tons of articles about the Bible teaching us not to judge appeared.  Then a few more interesting pieces of research…saying that some people like to throw certain verses around to cover up whatever they were doing.  At this point, I was getting warmer, but still didn’t quite find the point I wanted to make.  So, in a nutshell, I want to tell you if you have commented saying that “We shouldn’t judge x,y,z” the truth is, you just judged.  By feeling like you had to make that comment, yes, you could have held back, but you didn’t, you just judged the other person and felt you knew enough about them or the story to make that comment.  The truth is, you sized them up and whatever the meaning was behind their words, off just a snippet of conversation.

So what can we do instead of trying to berate another person publicly?

  1. Don’t comment “bait”.  It’s just not helpful nor is it appropriate on someone’s status.  They are entitled to make their status update about whatever it is they want to.  Sure, there are TONS of people out there who LOVE to share, comment, and make ridiculous posts.  I get it.  I do.  Unlike.  Unfollow.  Unfriend.  <<< poof.  It’s like magic.
  2. Do you really know this person at all?  As one gal said to me recently when trying to justify something that appeared on the book of face, what do we really know about anyone out there?  Stop and consider this a moment before you comment.  Have you ever had a conversation with this person in real life?  Face to face?  In a message?  On the phone?  Skyped with them perhaps?  If the answer is no, you honestly have no basis on which to use your word of the day.  You have no real frame of reference.
  3. Think about what was triggered inside of you.  Why do you feel the need to comment?  Take a step back and notice if it’s because it is a behavior you recently fought hard to push down in yourself.  Maybe you have even had the same thought this person had, but quickly pushed it away so now it makes you mad.  The emotions that it triggered made you realize you really don’t have a handle on your “stuff”.  So it scared you.
  4. Your negative reaction stems from anger, jealousy or perhaps envy.  This one is hard for those of us who are constantly working to reel in our “stuff”.  As we try harder and harder to change our thought patterns, and work on our spiritual self, we start to notice when the ego side of us rears it’s head…and then we get in this thought pattern “ugly cycle”.  Like it’s stuck on rinse, but not working.  Say “Oh that’s an interesting feeling.”  I am going to just notice it, and breathe deeply for a count of 5 and see what happens when I allow myself to release it.  The trick here is to see if you can release it, so visualize the emotion being released like a balloon in the sky and floating away.
  5. Try to use “discernment” instead.  Discernment is awareness/understanding without the emotional response, and often it is there, but buried under the emotional response first.  So when we work to remove the emotional piece like we did above, what are we left with?  Hopefully a clearer picture that is not as biased.

As with any journey, learning more about ourselves and what pushes our buttons can ultimately help us understand our fellow man.  What we have to learn to do, is pause and reflect before we rise and react.  ~Aimee Halpin

pause and reflect

 

 

Top 4 Biggest Weight Loss Hurdles

What are the 4 biggest weight loss hurdles during the holiday season?

Funny thing…people think that they put on weight during the holidays more so than at any other time; however, it’s not the holidays that really do it.  It’s actually making a plan, having a goal, and sticking to it.  But we will get to that part.

The first one is actually Loss of Motivation and I get that reason from clients well, lots.  At first, it’s like a special thing.  You are super pumped to start this journey, but slowly you let your mind take over and put you back where you started.  Negative Ghost Rider.  Abort.  Abort.  It’s cold.  It’s raining.  I saw a big piece of the best flan ever and had to put it in my mouth.  <<< that one was mine.  Anyway, I have been there.  What has helped me to stay consistent for over 2 years?  I will tell you.

  • I lay out my workout clothes (yoga for me) the night before.
  • I make sure my water bottle is ready to go and clean.
  • I get to wear the pants at the back of the closet.  I remind myself that.
  • I got rid of the pants that I had saved that were the “big” pants.  No lie.
  • I use a dry erase marker and write on my bathroom mirror where I can see it.  Daily.

Number two is “I’m too  busy for that.”  This one really gets on my nerves the most I think.  It’s not that I don’t understand, but I remember how I felt when I was at my worst.  My stomach was bloated, I was suffering from leaky gut, and I had tried everything including a personal trainer who kicked my ass to no avail.  The real reason you say you are too busy, is what if it fails?  That’s right.  I know your secret.  Being scared is part of the process, so please be honest with yourself.  Sometimes, you have to go back to the starting point.  But if you are working with a trainer, wellness coach or anyone else, check in with them and be honest about what you are afraid of.  Be specific.  Put it in words.  I opened up with the person who asked me to come back to yoga and I specifically said “I am worried that I am in so much pain that I won’t be able to do these things.”  And you know what, I wasn’t able to do everything.  And I lived.  I got better, stronger, and then one day, the 5 people closest to me throughout my yoga training saw me do something I couldn’t do before and it was a great feeling.  I didn’t let my excuses get in the way.  Side note:  I also had to come up with my own holistic wellness program in order for it to work since I knew more about autoimmune than who I initially signed up to work with.  I did have to create something that didn’t exist, but I didn’t give up.  Each and every time something didn’t work, I started back at what was working and went from there.

Number three is actually eating out.  I know that you love to go out to eat.  So do I!  Here’s how we can make it work while still maintaining your goals.

  • Research the restaurant menu ahead of time.  Look at the salads, appetizers and small plates and see if there are healthy options.
  • If you can’t find anything healthy, pick a new place.  If that is not an option because a function is scheduled there, call the place and ask about broiling or baking items that are on the menu instead.
  • Split a meal that is huge…they are almost always larger portion sizes!
  • Ask for salad dressing on the side, or better yet, ask for oil and vinegar so you can do it and you know what’s in it.
  • Skip the dessert if at all possible and ask for black coffee.

The last hurdle this season is going to be parties.  Wooo-hoo.  I love me a good party.  Yes, I just said that.  Say it in a southern accent and you might be close to how I sound.  Anyway, just so you know even I have a hard time with this one.  This is difficult.  Hugely difficult, but I have some great friends who are aware of my food sensitivities.  Some non-tacky things you can do to make your life easier at parties include:

  • Make your own snacks to bring and share.  Oh what did you bring to share?  Ohhh, gluten-free, sugar-free, paleo pumpkin cookies says me.  No one eats them but me.  Winning!  I get to take them home too.
  • Bring your own rice crackers and humus or veggies, etc.
  • Call your hostess, maybe less tacky, but you can say I am super excited to come to the holiday extravaganza at your beautiful house!  You sure make the best food.  What’s on the menu this year?  <<< sounding tacky no more.  Now you are complimenting and fishing at the same time.  Ask if you can bring something while casually mentioning your lifestyle change.  She will want a lifestyle change too and you won’t feel left out then.

So these are my tips to you this year.  Carry on my gluten-free, paleo, sugar-free, possibly vegan warriors.  Whoever you are, you can do this!!!

 

powerNew ^^^ linked to another blog:)

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