10 Easy Ways to Make Your Own Luck!

Have you ever thought about luck?  Looking over at that guy in the corner office, with the view, while you are stuck in the cubicle, have you ever thought to yourself “Some guys have all the luck.”  Well, what if he didn’t just have all the luck.  What if he created it for himself?

For the past 33 years I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.  ~Steve Jobs

I know that I often ask you some really hard questions on the fan page…or even during my live chats.  However, that being said, I have noticed a really great pattern.  There are some people who really appreciate thinking outside of the box.  These are the people who I can see changing their lives starting right now.  Today.  Going forth and using these 10 easy ways to make their own luck.

What are they doing that is different?

For starters, they are saying yes to things that they want to do…and aren’t just closing the door on opportunity because it doesn’t look exactly like they expected.  Sometimes opportunity is, in fact, disguised as hard work.  I borrowed that from Thomas Edison, who actually said: Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

10 Easy Ways to Make Your Own Luck:

  1. Reach out…and network.  I am going to be honest, as someone who works from home and has dachshunds as my office staff, when I need to reach out, I go through the interwebs usually or I message a friend who knows the answer.  I do admit that I have a hard time with this one and can count 5 people who are my go-to people.  If this one is hard for you, write down your go-to people right now.  See how many you can come up with!
  2. Is the glass half-full, half-empty, or are you missing the point?  It’s refillable.  Sometimes, the answer is one you haven’t even thought of.  Where is your optimism?  I love the question above because the first time I saw that quote, I laughed.  Why hasn’t anyone pointed that out before?  Duh.  So as you are looking at something new, think optimistically and out-of-the-box about what is going on.
  3. Do you spend time visualizing the outcome for success?  Let’s say you grew up in a household where ohhh I don’t know, let’s say your dad, thought that everything was going to turn out awfully.  There was always only one way it could turn out.  One way things were going to happen, and it was sure to be a natural disaster.  It is now up to you, and only you, to reprogram this kind of thinking by replacing this “programming” with better visualization techniques.  Start with the end result you want to achieve and work backward.  I talked about this last week, but that’s exactly what Jim Carrey did before he landed his first big movie role.  He wrote himself the check for acting services rendered, and he visualized every detail.  It is a powerful practice.
  4. Give freely of your wisdom to others.  If I have learned something that is working for me, I quite simply share it.  As you can read, I have tons of content on this blog shared with you guys about how to improve your life.  I believe in helping others by what I have learned…thus the title for this blog:)
  5. Trust your gut feelings.  This one also sometimes feels a lot like work to me…and sometimes it’s hard work.  I have to make calls in my business daily about what is working and not working.  Things that don’t feel right for me usually aren’t.  If something is bugging me enough that it is sending me a signal of my intuition to change something, well, I have to listen.  That is where the luck is.
  6. The uptight people are the luckiest…wait.  Hmm.  The truth is, the people who stay in their comfort zone, who only follow the same path, who have to do things this way and this way only, well.  Those are not the people I have seen creating their own luck.  I have seen the creative people going out on a limb and saying I wonder what will happen is I tweak this here.  I wonder what will happen if I put this large sum of money into this account or this investment or this new thing.  Trust me, it is hard to change old patterns of thought, but if you do, that is where the magic lies.
  7. Luck is going to jump out and find you…if you know where to look.  This is partly true.  I go with my hunches and call people up who I think might want to partner with me in my cool yoga adventures.  I have a wish list of people to call…and by doing so, I have created a really cool opportunity for me locally.  If I hadn’t done that, it wouldn’t have jumped out and found me.  I put it on my list and said, what if she said yes to this idea?  What have I got to lose?  Fear.  Okay.  I am calling.  And you know what?  She loves my plan and asked me to come back monthly.
  8. Take a big chance and push through the scary stuff.  Just like above, I have a “This is going to be scary, but what the heck.” list.  On that list is lots of ideas about things I see happening in the future for me.  One idea is for when I “retire”.  I already have ideas that far out, yes.  And it is so freaking wild that I love it.  Madly love this idea and want to do it now actually.  But, to be honest, I have kids at home still, so no Aimee, you can’t up and move to the mountains yet.  And have this cool yoga society of hippies.  But one day you will.  So if you need a 5 year list, or a 10 year list, create one.
  9. Don’t go back to that one time in the past when you failed miserably.  So, not everything always works out.  I have lost money.  Lots of it actually, and I have gained money, lots of it actually.  One of my dumbest things that seemed truly brilliant was my timeshare in Las Vegas.  HAHAHA.  No.  Just say no to timeshares.  They are like drugs.  Say no.  Anyway, for a while I thought about that mistake and then realized it was a learning experience…a costly one.  On where NOT to invest your money.  But hey, for a minute it was cool.
  10. Woo-hoo!  You have done it.  You created your own luck and are lucky forever now, so you can take a break.  Nope!  Not happening.  You will always be thinking so you will have to constantly realign your thoughts to the present moment and to what you are doing.  How are you viewing things?  How are you being?  What is your relationship with money like?  Do you think in the negative and live from a scarcity point of view?  Does one bill throw you over the edge like my dad this acquaintance I know?

Improving your relationship with your thoughts around luck and creating your own luck is what we are talking about in the Head|Heart|Health Club. <<< over there is how to enroll for less than $10 a month.  I teach people how to activate their gifts through daily practices in mindfulness and connection with the heart.  It truly changes your outlook on things and I would love to have you join my group!  If this article made you think, feel free to share it with others or use the pin button.

Save

Mental Badassery: Becoming Aware of the Stories We Tell Ourselves

Mental AwarenessMental Badassery: Becoming Aware of the Stories We Tell Ourselves

Guest Post By Leo Babauta

There’s a hidden mechanism that creates unhappiness, difficulty changing habits, relationship problems, frustration, anger and disappointment.

Barely anyone is aware of this hidden mechanism, even though it’s happening all the time, in all of us.

It’s the stories we tell ourselves.

We do it all day long: we tell ourselves a story about what’s happening in our lives, about other people, about ourselves. When I call them “stories” … that doesn’t mean they’re false, or that they aren’t based on the truth. It just means we’ve constructed a narrative based on our experiences, a perspective on the world around us, an interpretation of facts as we see them. Not false, but not necessarily the entire truth — just one perspective.

A different person could look at the same situation and tell a very different situation.

A few examples:

  1. You might have a story about how your boss is very supportive and praises you a lot, which means you are doing a good job and like your work environment, and this story makes you happy. Another person might look at the same situation and tell a story about how the work area is messy and people are always interrupting him and he’s tired and the clients are rude and smelly.
  2. You might be upset with your spouse because she was rude to you or didn’t clean up her messes for the last few days. Another person might have the same experience but tell themselves a story about how his spouse has been working hard at her job, has gone out of her way to cook a nice meal for you, and is tired and needs some comforting.
  3. You might have a story about how you keep procrastinating, keep failing at being disciplined, never stick to a workout routine. Another perspective might be that you have gotten some great things done despite getting distracted, you’ve been passionate about learning something and that’s taken a priority over work tasks you’re dreading, and you are tired and need some rest before you can tackle exercise with vigor.

Each of these examples have very different stories about the same situations — it’s about which details you pay attention to, and how you shape the narrative of those details.

Now, telling ourselves stories is natural — we all do it, all the time. There’s nothing wrong with it. But if we’re not aware of the stories we tell ourselves, we can’t understand how they shape our happiness, relationships, moods, and more.

Becoming Aware of Your Stories

Throughout the day, you’re telling yourself stories about what’s going on, about how wrong other people are to do what they do, about how good or bad you are at things.

My challenge to you is to start to notice what you’re telling yourself about everything.

It’s important to be aware of what those stories are, and how they’re affecting your happiness. If a story is making you happy, and you’re aware of that, then great! If you’re not aware of it, it’s not such a big problem if it’s making you happy, but what happens if the story starts to make you unhappy with your life? Then if you’re not aware, you have difficulties.

So start to become aware of your stories, good and bad. Notice them throughout the day.

Notice when you’re getting stuck in the story, spinning it around and around in your head. So and so shouldn’t have done this, and on and on, making you frustrated and unhappy with the person.

When we get hooked on a story, it’s hard to break away from it. But becoming aware of being hooked is the most important step.

What We Can Do

So what can we do if we’re hooked on a story? It can be very difficult to break out of that trap. I know, because it happens to me all the time — I see the story I’m telling myself, but it seems so solid and real that I can’t just let it go.

The first thing you can do is regard it as a dream. That doesn’t mean it’s false, it just means it’s not so solid. It’s something you’re playing out in your head, just like a dream, with very real emotional results. See it as a dream, not solid, and see if you can come out of the dream to the physical reality of the world around you in this moment. What sensations are happening right now, as opposed to in this dream?

The next thing you can do is not act on the story. Even if you’re caught up in it, that doesn’t mean you have to lash out at someone, or run away to distraction or comfort. Just sit with the story, notice how it’s making you feel, notice the physical sensations in your body. Notice that you’re caught up. But don’t act, just stay with your awareness.

There is another way of being: where you don’t cling to the stories but instead drop below them, and are just aware of the moment as it is, without interpretations, judgements, preconceptions. Stories will still come up, but you can notice them and not get caught up. Or if you do get caught up, notice that and don’t hold so tightly to it, coming back to the present moment.

However, this is a pretty advanced skill, and most of us can’t stay in this mode of being for very long. For now, just focus on awareness of your story, regarding it as a dream, and not acting on the story as much as we normally do.

In this way, you’ll be less caught up in whatever is causing unhappiness and frustration, and more present in the current moment.

 

Feel free to start changing your story today…

An Empath’s Guide to a Great Year!

You have probably read this article before if you are a regular reader here.  <<< The article shares what an Empath is and what we might notice that makes us a bit different as told from my personal experience. 

As we begin to wind down the year, we might have been struggling a bit if we have been in contact with too many people.  I know I have.  I just wrote about our boundaries and why that is so important, so if you missed that, you can take a look at the previous post after reading this.  But now it’s important to focus on the word “renew” as we start the new year.

Here are a few tips to start your year off feeling balanced:

  1. Click into your body as often as possible.  Imagine that you are about to get in the car.  When you feel yourself being absorbed by other people’s emotions or you have spaced out to a new level, visualize clicking back in.  You can even use seat belt imagery if it helps and see yourself “strapped” in to the present moment.  Link your breathing to the present for a space of 3 breaths by just repeating “I am breathing in…I am breathing out.”  Keep doing this as often as possible when you are around others and you feel yourself being pulled or drained.  You can even remind yourself of this each time you use the seat belt!
  2. Keep calm, and re-tune.  You have just been doing 3 or 4 things at once and start to realize there is way too much going on in your head.  You are sad about that animal video a friend posted on malnourished creatures…seriously people stop posting those.  << unfollow.  You have just seen a friend rant for the 4th time and use abbreviations like FML << hide post.  You are worried about your friend who is posting really enigmatic posts and won’t say anything at all about what is going on.  << you have to realize, that is clearly their stuff.  The best thing for you to do when all this information is out there in your social media feed, life and then your head, is to keep calm and really re-tune your body.  The people in your life don’t realize what this does to you, so in order to stay balanced, get to yoga, meditate, pray, or turn everything off and get outside.  You can also, ohhhh journal with me🙂  Turn on some calming music, your candles or diffuser, and zone out into your stuff, not theirs!!
  3. Don’t borrow problems!  Steps one and two are needed, so after you have clicked in, checked back into your own life, it is important to take note of how you feel after spending time with someone.  Are you angry?  Hostile?  Depressed?  Feel like Eeyore???  I had this one friend that left me so dark and gloomy that I had convinced myself that life really did suck.  It took me a very long time of emotionally bathing to rid myself of things that were not mine.  Yoga helped me tremendously as well as meditation.  I then developed my own series of journal questions to use on myself as well as other tools and I quickly realized that I was unpacking other people’s issues…and I did not want that at all.
  4. Surround yourself with the people who LIFT you up.  I just finished the FB live talk last week about this on the page under videos.  <<< for later.  But man oh man, do you need to be a lift force and surround yourself with others who can and will do the same for you.  If you have no one who is like this in your life right now, I invite you to check out my new closed group for the new year.  It is called the Head|Heart|Health Club and it does practice what it preaches.  Each month there will be new content, and you get to keep all the materials for the month you have purchased.  Worksheets, journal questions, tips, videos and more, but I had hundreds of people asking me for a place with good energy, and so my friends, I have made it.

Ultimately, if you do only these 4 things, you will start your new year off right and feel better about the choices you are making.  There are additional materials here on the blog for grounding and protecting yourself from negative energy, but remember, one of the most important tips is to be aware that not everyone is going to understand how much you need a clear and pure energy vibration that is truly lifting you up.  It is up to you to seek out those who make you feel relaxed, calm, and can respect your boundaries.

Want more tips?  Check out the Empath’s Journaling Guide.<<<

Save

How Losing Narcissistic Friends Opens Up Space for Good Energy.

I know the title might be shocking.  We never want to willingly lose a friend.  Not really.  But sometimes these things can’t be helped and we need to see them for what they really are.  A blessing in disguise.

As someone who wants to heal others, I naturally attract people who need healing.  This can come in all forms, from past relationships, family members, strangers, yes, and then friends.

What I have come to realize now, is that it is completely normal and even healthy, to lose friends as I grow and wake up to what I am meant to do with my abilities.  I know that I need healthy boundaries, and in the past, was not aware that I was constantly being drained by allowing these friends so much of my time.  Whew.  It was honestly a cycle I didn’t know how to get out of.

Empaths are tuned into feelings at an unnaturally high state.  We have been living this way for our whole lives, so the truth is, we really aren’t aware others don’t notice the same things we do…for a while.  The worst part of it for me personally, was hearing the lie almost before it was said.

Time and time again, I was told things that were simply not true.  I knew it immediately, yet, I truly loved this friend, so I let it pass because I thought there must be a good reason for it.  <<< note, there isn’t.

Narcissists have convinced themselves that the world is truly a bad place and they are the only ones who can be trusted.  They desire to be desired, admired, and sought after.  They rarely question their own logic because they have lied to themselves and others so much, that whatever story they project they actually start to believe.

If you have a problem, theirs is 10 times bigger and the worst so naturally, you end up spending the most time speaking of their issues.  And forget it if you do something that deserves praise.  They won’t be clicking like on that post.

As the narcissist comes in for the win, they find a highly sensitive person/empath who can help them with their problems time and time and time and time again.  If this sounds familiar, it’s time to free yourself from this cycle.

How to open yourself up to good energy:

  1. Start setting up clear boundaries.  If it is your dinner time, and the person really has a need, they can wait.  If they appear agitated, mad, or won’t speak to you for a while because you have to go, that might be a sign.
  2. Take charge of what is your “stuff” and do not absorb theirs.  I try not to type cuss words, but in your head, you know what I mean.  It is very important that you stay level-headed and know that the energy you might feel after talking to them is not your own.  I once described a situation I went through to another sensitive friend, and she said she was grumpy afterward…but recognized it wasn’t my stuff or hers.  It was the residual feelings of what I went through.  Do you ever feel drained, mad, upset at your spouse after talking to a friend?  Yup.  It might have been their stuff.
  3. Find and cultivate a space for high energy and gratitude.  I know that people are often not aware of this, but replacing old patterns of thoughts with higher ones, actually helps us.  It really protects us from that draining feeling and improves our health!  Gratitude opens us up to attract more abundance into our lives.
  4. Forgive yourself and know when it is time to walk away from things that do not lift you up!  I read every night before bed and I write in my journal.  In a nutshell, last night I was thinking about uplifting others and how that feels compared to the energy of being dragged down and trampled.  I don’t know why I never saw it before, but I am so happy I can recognize it now, and steer clear from it.  My intuition always tells me way ahead of time, but sometimes I tamp it down because I truly want to believe the person can change…but the truth is, they have to want that change and many don’t.  Recognize this pattern in your friendships now so you can start to create that space you need for good energy.

Thank you so much for reading, and if you are looking for more gratitude in your life, feel free to find my closed group.

True Health

Save

3 Tips for Turning Pity into Self-care!

I was drawn to this post my friend shared today by a famous yoga teacher who I really admire.  She seemed to have a really cool life.  She is young, admired, in shape and really self-confident.  Or so I thought.  She gets to go on exciting trips and travel all over the world…little did I know she was homesick and going through a divorce.  She posted a photo of herself on her social media today and the first person to comment said some ugly things about her being “vulnerable” as an excuse for pity.  Wow.  Harsh.

Interestingly enough, I bet we have all been there though.  Seeing someone’s posts and wondering if they just needed a pick-me-up or were they seeking attendees for their pity party?  The truth is, we all have felt this way at some point in our lives.  We are on the brink of being really vulnerable and wondering if others care.  The flip side to this is we might stay closed off from the world because we are busy thinking we will be judged for how we feel.  The fact is, emotions are like waves.  We can no more control them than we can control the turbulent sea.  We just have to ride it out.

I say this as I am still in the clutches of my own grief on losing a beloved pet.  So I can’t control my waves of grief right now, but there are things I can do to make this time more bearable.  I can turn my pity, of which I honestly feel like I am the only one at this party, into self-care.

3 Ways to Turn Pity into Self-care:

  1. Observe your thoughts as they turn to “why me”?  I recognize that I will have moments of thinking I am the only one who has ever experienced x,y, z.  Since I know this is definitely not true, I use this as an excuse to journal my feelings and explore what is really going on here.  Did someone post a photo of the exact opposite feeling?  Quite possibly.  And what is the exact opposite feeling I want to explore right now?  Happiness.  Love.  Support.  Okay, so now let me list the ways that I feel these emotions I am trying to get to.  Who makes me feel this way or what?  It doesn’t have to be a who…as I can definitely create my own happiness with things that make me feel successful.  So then I go down that path instead.
  2. Don’t open the invitations you get…to go to the other pity parties.  This one might be hard.  So do this one as tactfully as you can, but if you are struggling, the emotions you want to surround yourself with are not going to be more struggle and pity.  Get my drift?  You really want to think about the things that are going well in your life and get back to that higher vibration that allows you to feel good about yourself.  If you can turn it into something productive, like a friend journaling session, or a walk of pity, then go for it, but set a timer.  After 3 minutes, switch and listen to the other person.  Then you must have 3 minutes of praise and success.  Because ultimately, you know that this stage will not last forever.
  3. Make a practice of talking about your joys.  Again, this one is hard.  We always want to talk about what is bothering us…or what we want to change, but feel like we can’t.  What if we talked about all the things that made use feel joy, happiness, and fulfillment in life?  Ask a trusted friend to tell you 3 good qualities about yourself if you are feeling down.  Even better, text them and tell them 3 things you love about them out of the blue.

Opportunities for growth exist as we see our pity for what it really is.  A moment of self-doubt where we don’t feel good enough.  A moment of judgement where we think we should be doing more.  A moment of envy perhaps, where we see the outside of someone’s life and look at the highlight reel.  Go deeper into what is really bothering you and what the opposite of that feeling is.  It is there that you will find your gold.

Like this?  Read more on self-confidence. <<< 

judge

5 Ways to Welcome Change in the New Year

This year is coming to a close.  Let’s welcome change.

At the end of every year, you either think, “Wow!  This year has been great!”…or you might think “I sure am glad to shed the thoughts of this past year.”  If this is one of the years where you are ready to welcome change into your life, let’s go ahead and get ready for it now.

5 Ways to Welcome Change:

  1. Believe that good things are actually coming your way.  I do.  I say it daily right now.  I believe it with all of my being and I embrace it.  I am journaling what my new year will bring already as I am ready for the good thoughts to bring more with it.  It is time to embrace the new.
  2. Take that leap.  If there is something that you are wanting to do, quote simply, do it.  There is no time like the present to go after your dreams.  It is not easier said than done…it is easier done than said.  Meaning, do it, or you’ll just keep talking about wanting to do it.
  3. Don’t fight it.  For many months this year, there was a change I needed to make.  But I fought it.  I didn’t let go of some negative energy that really was not serving me in any shape or form because it involved letting go of a friendship that was only there when I was carrying negative energy around too.  I saw the pattern and refused to stop it because I kept saying it was going to change.  The truth is, it wasn’t going to change, but I had.  I could no longer turn a blind eye to what was happening and it started to drive me crazy.  Until I released it.  I went with what was supposed to happen.
  4. Embrace the unknown.  You don’t know what’s going to happen.  And that can be scary if we let it.  Start thinking of it as an adventure.  A mystery.  Put your thoughts and wishes out there into the universe and see what happens.  But continue to put those wishes out there.
  5. Stay the course.  For my latest program that is launching, I researched the myth of how many days it takes to make a habit stick.  It does NOT take 21 days.  It takes up to 60 depending on the person’s resolve to make a change…and that’s on a good day.  If you know that you are going to need help, write those thoughts down, journal where you can read them, put them on sticky notes, have a friend remind you, but stay the course.  You can actually make peace with change and learn to lean into it.  It’s always a smoother ride if you don’t fight it.
Welcome Change
Welcome change into your life!

Save

Save