Coping During a Mercury Retrograde

Are you feeling a little bit anxious?  Do you feel misunderstood?  Friends who are empaths read this before continuing if you haven’t read it before.  What is empathy?  Well, empathy can be described as the ability to read and understand people.  Empaths are a bit different and are quite sensitive to others moods, energy and thoughts without even being aware that they are.  They just sometimes “know” things aren’t right and can really feel shifts around them.  During this time of a high communication “fritz”, we need to be mindful on HOW we are communicating and what types of messages we are putting out there in the universe.

Lack of clear communication can lead to years of not speaking to someone.  Trust me, I know.  Sometimes it for the best, but other times, you wish you had talked to the person face-to-face.

What is Mercury Retrograde anyway??

It has been described to me as such:

We use the term “retrograde” to describe the backwards movement of a planet. Of course, the planet is not actually moving backwards; however, from earth it appears to be moving further away. When it does this, astrologers call it a retrograde, a time where the planet is almost “resting” or not in full action.

All planets retrograde, however Mercury retrograde is often the one that is given most attention because Mercury is associated with communication, technology and contracts- in many ways, Mercury is the messenger.  Communication, travel, and technology—all of these areas might go haywire for about three weeks.

How to cope during this time:

  1. Read everything thoroughly that you are sent.  But Don’t read INTO it.  I admit that I might have a tiny problem when people send me things with ALL CAPS.  Don’t do that to people unless you are writing a blog article and want them to read that part:)
  2. Remember my 3 breaths from the FB Live video?  Pause and take those 3 deep belly breaths.  Put your hand on your belly, and then feel it rise and fill your lungs as they expand, exhale through your nose.  Repeat x 3!
  3. Confirm all travel plans before you head out.  If possible, have a back-up.  If not, just go with the flow if there are delays.
  4. Think of this time as a time to get to know the phone better…as in phone calls with voices.  Not texts, messages, e-mails on important items.  As a matter of fact, limit messages if you can.  They can be read into big time.
  5. This is a time to connect with your inner wisdom, not reactions.  Is it true?  Could the other person be feeling off?  What do I know about this person?  Is it in character?  Connect with your gut feelings.
  6. Do not put too much on your plate during this time.  <<< repeat it friends.  Back-to-school, new routines, new plans, for 3 weeks, just hold on before adding lots more to this time.  October is a great month after you have gotten into the routines of school to add things.
  7. Have patience.  Above all, I wish you patience during this time.  Seek out yoga, meditation, and quiet reflection at night.  Pause, breathe and be kind to yourself.

I have some great articles on journaling, self-care, and grounding your thoughts that might help you.  <<<  check those out for more!



6 Things No One Else Controls…Except You!!

Contrary to popular opinion the world does not owe anyone anything.  Yup.  It’s up to us to make our own way in the world.  Hypothetically, if you were to ask me for advice and blame everything that has happened to you on someone else in your family, I might give you advice you don’t want to hear.  I don’t lie, and I don’t really sugar-coat.  I tell you what your words are telling me.

I have talked about this before, but each of us on this earth are responsible for our own happiness…and in turn, we feel more successful when we are happy.  Happiness isn’t ready-made, and we can’t be happy all of the time, but we can turn some things around that lead to unhappiness.  Letting other people control things usually leads to unhappy thoughts, which in turn can lead to depression, anger, sadness, anxiety and many more feelings of unease in our own skin.

Each day we are responsible for our actions whether or not they are good or bad.  I am still beating myself up over hesitating paying for a stranger to get a hair cut the other day, but that moment has passed.  I hesitated because I didn’t want to offend the woman, but she said she was just checking on prices and didn’t have it on her at the moment, but would come back.  We can do good things when we are prompted by our gut…but I let judgement jump in because I thought she would be offended.  I made that choice for her.

Then I let my disappointment bring me down.  Anytime we make poor decisions, or don’t listen to what our intuition tells us, we sometimes do the “repeat” thing in our heads.  I am here to tell you that never solves a thing.  Sing the Cher song backwards, because guess what?  You can’t turn back time.  The time is now.  So let’s start now making those tiny continuous improvements that I have talked about before.   <<< check that out after the article.

6 Things Only You Control:

  1. The Word “NO.”  No is actually a complete sentence.  If people are dragging you into needless arguments and are already committed to being right, why bother being part of it?  No thank you.  Not my circus.  Not my monkeys. I love that line by the way and say it in my head lots… I add colorful modifiers sometimes in my head as well, but truth.  If grown folks are trying to get you to be part of their nonsense, just say no.
  2. No one can steal your breath.  I read an e-mail today that was condescending and blaming.  The person didn’t know how to do their job so they are blaming other things.  I needed to breathe.  Breathing gets my head clear.  Gets me to realize how young this person is.  Gets me to take the higher road than I was going to take in my response.  Allows me to show them why I ask other people for their opinion before I assume.  It’s time to breathe and feel the air come up through your belly, expanding your lungs and then exhaling through your nose.  For a count of 3 before responding.  Own your breath.  Don’t let them own it.
  3. Your reaction.  “Well you made me do that!”  Nope.  Not buying that.  No matter how hurtful someone is, or how petty, you still control your reaction and the words you use to respond.  Find your breath.  Remember the word no is still available, and last, walk away if you need to.  It is always your choice to have higher self-control than the next person.  You can be humble in this situation and show kindness as well.
  4. The voice in your head.  It’s all you up there.  Do you have it on rewind all the time?  What routines are in place to clear it?  Do you know where the delete button is or has it vanished?  When you feel your inner voice repeating a scenario, stop it.  Breathe deeply again 3 times.  Replace it with an affirmation of positive self-talk.  I am worthy.  I am able to move past this.  << By the way, you are.  Forgive yourself and move forward.  Journal if you need to and then close the page.  It is gone.  Out of your head and onto the paper.  End it with “Tomorrow is a new day.”
  5. Your friend choice.  A long time ago, there were some “popular” kids my friend thought were awesome.  I didn’t.  In fact, I went out of my way to avoid them and make my own friends because this particular crew was nothing but mean girls.  I tried out for soccer instead of what back then was the norm.  Not saying that cheering is bad, but it was the norm in the 80’s and 90’s.  Girls playing soccer was not.  I liked to be different.  Go figure.  But along the way I learned that I couldn’t make the mean girls nice, I couldn’t make them like me or hate me less, because you guessed it, if a guy from around their crowd took notice of me, I was called names.  I just did my thang.  You do yours my friends.  Seriously.  Your gut is right.
  6. Your present and your future.  The truth is, these people don’t control how you spend the rest of your life.  If you are letting them, you have to ask yourself why?  Are you stuck in the past?  Are you holding grudges?  Are you motivated by hate or anger?  What are you doing right now that is helping you move forward from this?  It is time to practice forgiveness.  Send that card.  Say thank you.  Let go.  You really can move forward.  It is up to you and it is your choice whether to let go or be dragged.

A few more articles to help you >>>  The Process of Letting Go

>>>   20 Minutes of Anger (or tips for not Hulking out)

Do you need help making progress?  Try 4 Weeks to Wellness.  There is currently a flash sale on the bonus!


Learning to Control Your Highly Sensitive Emotions

Have you been called highly sensitive?  Empathic? Or viewed as someone who is mistrustful?  The truth is, as time goes on, my senses have started to go into overdrive on certain days, and I have had to teach myself how to handle this.  Luckily for me, I have a friend who REALLY really gets this.

Firstly, we need to accept this as a gift.  Just like any other gift we didn’t ask for, we have it.  Let’s start with an open mind about it.  Yes, I have my top post where I let us all vent.  I did.  It was necessary for us to get out our feelings.  I felt called to write that post, and you guys showed up and told me that you needed to hear this!!  I am honored by your truth…but you already know that.  He hee.

Next, we need to take stock of what is going on around us at the time of the emotional shift.  What just happened?  Were we talking to someone on the phone, messaging, or communicating with someone?  Were we alone?  Were we perhaps say browsing the interwebs?  Any of the webs.  They are in fact a web of mostly lies, or one snap photos, or fake stories, etc.  But we take note of that even if it doesn’t register right then.  We see someone’s happiness, promotion, good news, sad news, rant, breakup, divorce, or vague status and we think about it.  So observe when this happens.  Just observe for right now.

The third thing that we need to really be aware of is letting our thoughts take control of our physical body.  Do you feel sick to your stomach? Get a headache?  Physically have to run to the bathroom?  Does certain news, moods, people, behaviors make you ill?  What could you do to stop this process?  Hopefully I can help you with advice on this.

Learning to Control Your Highly Sensitive Emotions:

  1. Limit your time on social media IF possible.  This one is really hard.  I know because it’s sort of my job.  So if you can’t limit your time, learn to un-follow people/things, take breaks, get up and walk away from it.
  2. We have to stop the suffering of our body.  We do have deep feelings, so we are prone to great highs and great lows.  We might even worry about others because we know something they don’t.  The worry is the suffering.  We need to become aware of it, and replace it with love and light towards this thing.  Whatever it is.  See if you can flip it around and think, what is this trying to teach me?  And what do I need to learn from it?
  3. Exercise, meditate or do yoga.  Yes, my preference is yoga since I am a yoga teacher; however, you might enjoy running or even a walking meditation where you just clear your head and walk.  You can chant a mantra if needed or simply the word “release”.  If you pray, this can be your time to reflect on what you think God is showing you.  The choice is yours, but start a habit of getting away from the negative thoughts or feelings.
  4. Take this quote with you and digest it “The art of knowing is knowing what to ignore.” ~Rumi  Do you know what to ignore?  What things are simply not yours to take on and what are these feelings trying to show you?  Trust me when I say, I know it’s a hard place to be in.
  5. Forgive yourself and it becomes easier to forgive others.  Release the control, the anger, the anxiety, the frustration, the envy, and anything you know will not serve you.
  6. Let go of everything you think you didn’t do right.  Let it go.  Live in the now as you move forward.

perfection>>> S.O.S. still need help?  Check out these tools for you.  <<<

Finding your zen…

There are times in your life when you need to just breathe…or scream.  Screaming is not as appropriate at work though, so we need to find other ways to manage our stress.  This is always easier said than done.  We worry, fret, and work ourselves into a tizzy over something that might happen.  We ponder, speculate, and look for hidden meanings in the words of everyone around us.  Life would be much easier if people just said what they meant…well, maybe.  I know I work better that way, but perhaps not everyone does.  In the meantime, we need to work with what we are given.  This applies to all aspects of life, not just work.

My good friend said to me “What other people think of me is none of my business.”  I loved that line and made her repeat it.  I instantly thought of ways to apply that to my life.  The next time someone says something snippy to me, I will breathe in and out and maybe even make the “ohmmm” sound in my mind as they are speaking.  Knowing me, I might even say it out loud until it annoys them.  Zen is the practice of “not doing”.  You are not reacting to things around you when the world might be in chaos.  You need to still the thoughts that are going on in your head and think about the bigger picture.

If it is work related, ask yourself if the other person is under a lot of stress.  If the answer is yes, let it go.  It becomes their problem.  Perhaps your source of trouble is health problems.  Motivate yourself to become the person you want to be.  Do not give in to the “end result”.  I was reading an interview with Michael J. Fox and he described that so perfectly.  He said in acting, there is such a thing as playing the end result, or what the character will come to.  Don’t play the end result now.  That piece of wisdom is very useful.  I have new friends out there who might need to hear this advice.  Remember, don’t play the end result.  Find your zen moment and focus on that.  Meditate, read, do hot yoga, which is in a dark room and they offer it during the evening.  I find that very relaxing.

“Life is short.  Time is fleeting.  Realize the self.  Purity of heart is the gateway to God.  Aspire.  Renounce.  Meditate.  Be good; do good.  Be kind; be compassionate.  Inquire, know Thyself.”

~Swami Sivananda