5 Self-care Tips for the Empath

5 self-care tips for the empath

First of all, you know you are an Empath because you are here.  If you are a bit unsure, read more over here on this article.  <<<

As a highly sensitive person, it is necessary to continue your self-care routines daily, not just when you remember.  So before we even get into that, I want to tell you to write on your calendar “self-care time” and devote at least 15 minutes a day to it.

I teach intuitive people how to best care for their emotions and improve their relationship with their thoughts.  When we get into overwhelm mode as an Empath, lots of things start to happen to us.  We feel physically sick, suffer from headaches, begin to feel drained, and literally have no energy for our own lives.  I know we want to look around at the world and shut down at this point, but this is the time we have to get serious about our own needs.  Do not feel guilty here.  We must put on our own oxygen masks first by practicing self-care.

What happens when we don’t take of ourselves? 

I want you to think back to the last few weeks.  Look over your calendar as you do so and put a “heart” on any activity where you took care of yourself.  Put a “minus” next to anything you were doing where you felt drained, depleted and possibly had to rest the next day.  Only you know the answer to this and only you can be honest with yourself and your schedule.  Are you showing up in your own life as the director or perhaps the side kick?  How many hearts are in your calendar?  How many activities do you plan just for you?  Do you make note of that?  Try to keep a record for a week of anything you have done after reading this article and see what happens.  Begin with these 5 self-care tips for the Empath and keep adding to them.

5 Self-care Tips for the Empath:

  1. Cut off all electronics at least 30 minutes prior to going to bed.  There are lots of reasons for this including various studies on brain waves, the light, and more, but for us, it’s also about what we are feeling through the social media feed.  The routine that will nurture your soul is not found online right before bed unless you are searching for a journal prompt.  <<
  2. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude to elevate your energy daily.  Because we feel so much and we see way more than we let on, we start to feel very alone and perhaps a wee bit mistrustful of others.  This lack of trust leads us into isolation and hermit mode as we know that at least alone in our thoughts, we can’t let ourselves down.  While we feel this is true, we actually do need a support system and ways to feel grateful again about the world around us.  I have created a support system in my closed group, but it is also important to note what we are grateful for each day that might seem to be a coincidence, but truly, is not.
  3. Learn to distance yourself from the drama and anyone you truly know is lying to youAs you begin to create better boundaries for your Empath world, things start to feel lighter and more free.  A lack of good and decent boundaries means that you will continue to suffer.  Why?  Energy vampires will continue ti drain you because of your good nature.  Gently start to notice where you need to shore up the low places in your defenses and don’t feel guilty about saying “no” to things that zap your energy.  The person who asks you for help 24/7 and never once has taken your advice.  The angry person who doesn’t lift a finger to change themselves, but vents to you.  The “time warper” who messages you and hours later you are like “Where has my night gone?” and you feel a headache coming on.  <<<   Sign of a person leeching your energy away.
  4. Meditate, or learn yoga poses to cope with getting centered and grounded.  I started recording a few yoga poses monthly for my club because I don’t want people to think they have to do an hour-long flow.  No.  You can do one pose a day, and I even break it down to chair yoga for those who want that, but it can be really simple.  I am convinced that those who want to change, will.  Those who want to feel better, quite simply will.  If you are reading this, you are probably pretty sick of feeling sick in this world.  I teach a 4 week course that is yours to keep for life on Journaling for the Empath which includes a break down of steps to take to clear your energy and start realizing what is yours and what might be taken on from others.  <<< It can be repeated as often as needed to clear your thoughts and align with your own energy.
  5. Do a check on what you have done for yourself weekly.  Not sure how to do that?  Here is my free Empath self-care checklist.  Make time to get outside, read, journal, meditate, do yoga, get grounded and many more self-care routines that are truly available to us each and everyday.  Learn to see your gift as a gift and not a burden.  Life truly is what you make my soul friend, and I hope this inspired you to make it a great one!

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The Inauthentic Person and the Empath…Why We Must Leave.

I can sense a fake post a mile away.  Just skimming the headline of an article that has been stolen and reproduced usually gives me a shiver.  So it is no wonder that meeting fake people causes me to draw back from any and all people associated with them.  And I do mean all.

I would rather have no friends at all than a fake one.

As an Empath, I have always been sensitive to clues.  Years ago, I met a lady who was to work with me very closely.  She was too happy…all the time.  One day, she started telling me a story about how her husband had cheated on her.  She laughingly said “Hahaha.  I could murder him.”  I looked at her and I knew that was one of the few things she actually had told me that was completely and totally true.  Her hatred was as great as the Emperor’s from Star Wars.  Seriously.  I had this vision for a second and it was gone.  I saw beneath the mask.

Later, she would do other odd things until one day I could take it no longer and I had to report her behavior.  I later left the school because yes.  We worked with children and they didn’t believe me.  A year later she was let go and I ran into her working at a yogurt shop.  The mask was there again.

I have many stories like this when the words, body language and energy of the person don’t match up.  There are people with massive followers that I refuse to associate with as I have seen the mask slip.  All it takes is one time for me to have that feeling click and I know.

Energy doesn’t lie to me.

I have been manipulated by a person who was once one of my closet friends.  She would smile at me and tell me how much she wanted to see me, but wouldn’t I invite so and so over as well, a male friend, to my house…because you know, she was married.  I would later hear things about parties she had, that I wasn’t invited to, or outings she had that we had planned, but she took someone else.  I am a grown woman.  I left high school a long time ago.  If you are sensing these things in your adult friendships my friends…get out.

Signs you must leave:

  1. They are your friend or are friendly to you when they need you.  At other times, like the time you say “Hey. I have had a really bad day.  Can I come over?”  They tell you “Now is not really a good time.”  Had the situation been reversed, you would have changed your plans, got come wine and chocolate and opened your door in your PJ’s.  <<< truth.
  2. They compliment you daily…but you sense something else.  This started with the lady who I worked with.  I realized I was probably working with a psychopath and pathological liar who continued to pretend she was stable so she complimented everyone around her all the time with this giant smile.  I could almost sense her real words underneath.  It gave me the creeps.
  3. In each situation, they are a new person.  This is a huge sign. <<< My close friend was never the same person and I noticed it, but I guess I wanted a best-friend so much at the time, that I just passed it off as insecurity.  I tried very hard to form a close relationship, but I never knew what type of person I was dealing with.  Just when I thought I got through, it would happen again.
  4. The lies and stories are so thick, you aren’t sure what is truth anymore.  In the end, they have changed different versions of a story so many times you are left feeling completely and totally used.  Drained.  Even though they have tried many ways to keep anger, pain, or something else hidden, you always sense it.  It is the true self under all the stories.  Your instincts are right no matter how much they deny it.

What do you do now?

  1. Avoidance.  This is my go-to thing.  I know it.  I “hermit” because I am so damn tired of being lied to.  I can’t stand the fakeness I see daily and that includes social media and twisted “news” that isn’t really news at all.
  2. You learn to trust again…eventually.  To do this, you have to be willing to put yourself out there to make new friends.  I get it, I truly do, but not everyone is the same.  Trust your gut.
  3. You join a club or go to a local meet-up of people with interests like you.  If there isn’t one, you can always start one, but it is important to find people you can trust.  I know it’s hard.  You are always welcome to come join my Club as well if this resonates with you.
  4. You journal about your experiences and you move on.  You get very clear on how you want to feel and you start to create that for yourself.  No one wants to feel used for sure.  Start making a list of how you want to feel.  Loved, energized, important, lifted-up, and of course, authentic.

Want more help? >>>  Here is Journaling for Empaths.  <<< A workbook to heal your soul.

5 Hacks to Relieve Anxiety and Blues for the Empath

I have been told that I needed to chill out occasionally on the stress…which is kind of funny considering that is what I teach others in my yoga classes.  Here’s the thing though, if you walked around like a piece of Velcro picking up the feelings of every anxious person you came in contact with, you might understand.

I am going to go over the 5 hacks that will help you relieve anxiety and help you through the blues, but listen.  I give you permission to let it all go right now.  It’s not easy being an empath. << to read later if you don’t know if you are one.  The world doesn’t fully grasp how we came into existence and they think it’s lots of woo-woo stuff that can’t be explained.  Don’t worry, that’s not your job, or mine really, to explain this to them.  I used to think I had to explain this “gift” or curse as some say, but the truth is, we don’t owe the world an explanation.  We only need to take on our own problems, and that is half the battle.

What’s happening to me?

So here is what is going on with us.  We can read other people just like they read the news, but the difference is, when they close the article they are reading, the words stay there.  With me?  When we close our reading, the words jump onto us and follow us home…or in the case of anxiety, they somewhat merge with us.  As we go about our day, we can’t help but ponder why so and so was acting the way they did or we just wish we could help them because we know they told us they were fine, but clearly they aren’t and what if they do something stupid or worse.  Ack.  What if I am solely responsible for their bad decisions because I knew what they were thinking and I didn’t stop them.   Does this sound like a situation your brain has pondered?

Now you are anxious about things that haven’t even happened yet.

Trust me, I get it.  Your stomach hurts, you get a headache, you don’t want to see anyone and your brain is replaying things.  Nothing has even happened.  Quite possibly a few days go by, and you seem to let it go.  Trying to have a great day when out of no where, feelings of sadness overtake you.  You are already emotionally worn out and exhausted and now this.  What is going on now?  How can you stop this roller coaster of feelings?

5 Hacks to Relieve Anxiety and Blues:

  1. Focus on yourself.  I get that you are stressed, but let’s stop replaying what is happening with this other person.  It is time to focus on your needs.  As we focus on them, we are likely attracting more of their “stuff” our way.  Here is a tip from my new Guide.  Take the path of least resistance and sit in stillness for a round of 3 deep breaths.  You might want to be barefoot and put both feet flat on the floor.  Feel your toes on the ground or carpet.  What sensations can you feel?  What sounds are you listening to?  Continue to breathe and focus on the feeling of the air moving in and out of your lungs.  You are in control of your breath.  You are in your body.  Visualize a brilliant bubble surrounding you as you breathe.  Only what you allow to come in, gets in, and that is only positive energy to refill you.  You have now come back to your body.
  2. Follow that urge.  Do you have that itchy feeling sometimes that you need to get away and be alone?  Maybe read a good book or journal quietly?  That is your natural intuition telling you what you actually need to refill your depleted energy stores.  Energy is always changing and when it is in fatigue, it must be refilled.  Even more so for the empath.  Sadness might be telling you that your stores have reached a really low-level.  As we learn to let go from the other person’s emotions, we start to heal.  Getting back to nature can also help this process, going by the sea, or getting yourself to yoga where the energy is really high right towards the end of class and then everyone melts into savasana.  This is the most healing part, so try to follow your intuition here.
  3. Boundaries are your friend.  It is very important that you don’t take on too much and that the moment, and I am not kidding here, the moment you start to feel anxious in someone’s presence, you don’t question it.  That is your internal compass telling you who to steer clear of and it is time we stopped questioned it saying things like “Could it just be me?”.  No.  Your body knows.  If you are unsure how to set boundaries, practice using this article.  Everything we do has to be practiced so that it becomes like a reflex to us and we move into feeling instead of thinking.  That is actually our gift, and we need to recognize it and use it.  If someone causes a feeling that bring you down, recognize that as well.
  4. Take note of your own personal feelings.  Keeping a journal will be very useful for you so that at night, you can download what is really yours and yours alone to paper.  Not sure how to do this or want direction?  I recently was asked by well let’s say everyone who knows my journal practice for myself, to write a guide that would help empaths.  You are more than welcome to check it out, but the most important thing to remember here in all of these tips is that you have to do the work inside your head in order to make it become a habit that is second nature to you.  That is where the power lies.  It’s all inside of you already.
  5. Ground it out.  It’s time to put down the burdens of others.  Take your shoes off.  Feel through all four corners of your feet and lift your toes.  Walk outside on the ground or on your carpet if you prefer, but really focus on the feeling.  Being in nature is key here, but you can also take a shower and visualize the water cleansing the stagnant energy off of you.  Use sense of smell to make you feel safe and secure.  Do you know what the number one smell is that helps clear your head?  Fresh baked cookies.  I know, I know, but it’s true.  It invites feelings of warmth.  Last, but not least, make a list of 5 things that you like to do that soothe you.  Refer to that list often and re-evaluate it if something changes.

I hope you really use these tips and refer back to it as needed.  As we start to make taking care of our feeling first a routine, we will be less likely to fall into the trap of overwhelm, anxiety and sadness.  Need more?  My monthly Club is always available with open doors.  The content changes monthly, but I know you will enjoy it!

5 Hacks to Relieve anxiety and blues

 

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How to Handle the “Knowing” When Your Intuition is High.

Intuition

It happened again.  Someone just lied straight to your face.  And you had a split second to decide what to do.  So you just numbly nod your head and move on.  The other choice is confrontation and how can you prove you know they lied You can’t just say “well I felt it…” or can you?  What if they think you are crazy?  How do you handle this?  Help!

Well, the interesting thing is this, the more tuned in you are with this person, the stronger the “knowing” is.  Sometimes, you want to dismiss it because it would make your life easier.  But I think it is being developed in our conscious mind for a reason.  So how do we move on from here?

How to handle the “Knowing”:

  1. Trust your intuition.   If you know in your gut you are right, you are probably on the right thought.  The thought comes without reaching for it.  Much like our reaction when we pull our hand away from a hot surface, shiver when we are cold, or our bellies growl when we are hungry.  It is simply just there and many people don’t understand this.
  2. Breathe deeply.  What was the first thing you thought?  The first impression is often the most accurate.  We then start to second guess ourselves about the thought.  Breathe deeply again.  Trust your gut reaction.
  3.  Think about how you feel when you ignore it.  So you know it’s there and it’s going to wake you up in the middle of the night.  Can you stop your friend/co-worker from lying from you?  No.  You can’t do that.  But what is your intention going to be if you do, in fact, tip them off you know something fishy is going on?  Don’t point the finger, but instead see if there is a way for you to later re-visit this with your intention clear.
  4. Weight the consequences and energy output.  Supposedly people are more likely to lie when they are stressed or put on the spot.  So consider asking important things when someone has had time to relax or maybe isn’t in a room full of people if it’s at work.  I know, to some of us who just want the truth, this seems like lots of effort, but the energy spent trying to catch the person in the lie isn’t worth it either.
  5. Have the conversation about what your moral code is and what you do and do not expect from a friend, co-worker, or even your boss.  Of course this takes courage, but maybe they will think twice about who you really are in a world full of people wearing masks.  Saying you don’t have time for that kind of life and you don’t tolerate it in your relationships can attract just the right people to your circle.  Obviously, I would be careful if it’s your boss, but seriously, if a leadership figure is lying to you all the time, why work for him or her?  I mean, you know, once you have your next job lined up.  I am being realistic and know that honesty doesn’t pay the bills.

How can you handle liars?

What are we working on in the Head|Heart|Health Club this month that helps highly sensitive people?  Come on over and find out.  <<< Don’t forget to read my new about section.  Feel free to follow this blog using the e-mail sign-up too!

What’s the Connection Between your Head and your Heart?

At some point in your life, your head and your heart simply do not agree.  Your head is over here being all practical…and your heart, well, it wants to quit work, become an entrepreneur, and live a glorious life.  Wait, I did that actually.

So the process was scary as hell, and if you are new to my blog, you know that I did it to save my life.  << Read later if you are new.  The hours spent in agony at making a decision all boiled down to one thing…money actually.

What would be the best for me physically at the time was not going to pay the bills; however, after a particularly bad spell which lasted 3 weeks, my husband said the words that finally broke through to my head as well.  The job was not worth sacrificing my health. 

Alrighty then.  A weight had been lifted.  The fear was gone and a plan was made.  The connection between my heart and my head was now on the same path, and I had one goal that lined up to who and what I was supposed to be.

The paralyzing indecision was gone.  We would make this work.  I sure wish I hadn’t wasted lots of energy when my decision was split, but I truly wasn’t listening to my heart.  My head kept getting in the way.  Luckily for me, I learned a great deal about myself during the process of leaving work, going on a sabbatical to heal, and then building my business around my dreams of helping others.

What about you?  How balanced do you feel lately?

In my Head|Heart|Health Club, I teach journal therapy, ways to connect to your inner most desires, and how to enjoy a complete lifestyle change.  Indecision leaves you feeling powerless.  It truly drains you of energy.  Feel free to connect with me through my online portal as I would love to have more like-minded people working towards the same goal.

An Empath’s Guide to a Great Year!

You have probably read this article before if you are a regular reader here.  <<< The article shares what an Empath is and what we might notice that makes us a bit different as told from my personal experience. 

As we begin to wind down the year, we might have been struggling a bit if we have been in contact with too many people.  I know I have.  I just wrote about our boundaries and why that is so important, so if you missed that, you can take a look at the previous post after reading this.  But now it’s important to focus on the word “renew” as we start the new year.

Here are a few tips to start your year off feeling balanced:

  1. Click into your body as often as possible.  Imagine that you are about to get in the car.  When you feel yourself being absorbed by other people’s emotions or you have spaced out to a new level, visualize clicking back in.  You can even use seat belt imagery if it helps and see yourself “strapped” in to the present moment.  Link your breathing to the present for a space of 3 breaths by just repeating “I am breathing in…I am breathing out.”  Keep doing this as often as possible when you are around others and you feel yourself being pulled or drained.  You can even remind yourself of this each time you use the seat belt!
  2. Keep calm, and re-tune.  You have just been doing 3 or 4 things at once and start to realize there is way too much going on in your head.  You are sad about that animal video a friend posted on malnourished creatures…seriously people stop posting those.  << unfollow.  You have just seen a friend rant for the 4th time and use abbreviations like FML << hide post.  You are worried about your friend who is posting really enigmatic posts and won’t say anything at all about what is going on.  << you have to realize, that is clearly their stuff.  The best thing for you to do when all this information is out there in your social media feed, life and then your head, is to keep calm and really re-tune your body.  The people in your life don’t realize what this does to you, so in order to stay balanced, get to yoga, meditate, pray, or turn everything off and get outside.  You can also, ohhhh journal with me🙂  Turn on some calming music, your candles or diffuser, and zone out into your stuff, not theirs!!
  3. Don’t borrow problems!  Steps one and two are needed, so after you have clicked in, checked back into your own life, it is important to take note of how you feel after spending time with someone.  Are you angry?  Hostile?  Depressed?  Feel like Eeyore???  I had this one friend that left me so dark and gloomy that I had convinced myself that life really did suck.  It took me a very long time of emotionally bathing to rid myself of things that were not mine.  Yoga helped me tremendously as well as meditation.  I then developed my own series of journal questions to use on myself as well as other tools and I quickly realized that I was unpacking other people’s issues…and I did not want that at all.
  4. Surround yourself with the people who LIFT you up.  I just finished the FB live talk last week about this on the page under videos.  <<< for later.  But man oh man, do you need to be a lift force and surround yourself with others who can and will do the same for you.  If you have no one who is like this in your life right now, I invite you to check out my new closed group for the new year.  It is called the Head|Heart|Health Club and it does practice what it preaches.  Each month there will be new content, and you get to keep all the materials for the month you have purchased.  Worksheets, journal questions, tips, videos and more, but I had hundreds of people asking me for a place with good energy, and so my friends, I have made it.

Ultimately, if you do only these 4 things, you will start your new year off right and feel better about the choices you are making.  There are additional materials here on the blog for grounding and protecting yourself from negative energy, but remember, one of the most important tips is to be aware that not everyone is going to understand how much you need a clear and pure energy vibration that is truly lifting you up.  It is up to you to seek out those who make you feel relaxed, calm, and can respect your boundaries.

Want more tips?  Check out the Empath’s Journaling Guide.<<<

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How Losing Narcissistic Friends Opens Up Space for Good Energy.

I know the title might be shocking.  We never want to willingly lose a friend.  Not really.  But sometimes these things can’t be helped and we need to see them for what they really are.  A blessing in disguise.

As someone who wants to heal others, I naturally attract people who need healing.  This can come in all forms, from past relationships, family members, strangers, yes, and then friends.

What I have come to realize now, is that it is completely normal and even healthy, to lose friends as I grow and wake up to what I am meant to do with my abilities.  I know that I need healthy boundaries, and in the past, was not aware that I was constantly being drained by allowing these friends so much of my time.  Whew.  It was honestly a cycle I didn’t know how to get out of.

Empaths are tuned into feelings at an unnaturally high state.  We have been living this way for our whole lives, so the truth is, we really aren’t aware others don’t notice the same things we do…for a while.  The worst part of it for me personally, was hearing the lie almost before it was said.

Time and time again, I was told things that were simply not true.  I knew it immediately, yet, I truly loved this friend, so I let it pass because I thought there must be a good reason for it.  <<< note, there isn’t.

Narcissists have convinced themselves that the world is truly a bad place and they are the only ones who can be trusted.  They desire to be desired, admired, and sought after.  They rarely question their own logic because they have lied to themselves and others so much, that whatever story they project they actually start to believe.

If you have a problem, theirs is 10 times bigger and the worst so naturally, you end up spending the most time speaking of their issues.  And forget it if you do something that deserves praise.  They won’t be clicking like on that post.

As the narcissist comes in for the win, they find a highly sensitive person/empath who can help them with their problems time and time and time and time again.  If this sounds familiar, it’s time to free yourself from this cycle.

How to open yourself up to good energy:

  1. Start setting up clear boundaries.  If it is your dinner time, and the person really has a need, they can wait.  If they appear agitated, mad, or won’t speak to you for a while because you have to go, that might be a sign.
  2. Take charge of what is your “stuff” and do not absorb theirs.  I try not to type cuss words, but in your head, you know what I mean.  It is very important that you stay level-headed and know that the energy you might feel after talking to them is not your own.  I once described a situation I went through to another sensitive friend, and she said she was grumpy afterward…but recognized it wasn’t my stuff or hers.  It was the residual feelings of what I went through.  Do you ever feel drained, mad, upset at your spouse after talking to a friend?  Yup.  It might have been their stuff.
  3. Find and cultivate a space for high energy and gratitude.  I know that people are often not aware of this, but replacing old patterns of thoughts with higher ones, actually helps us.  It really protects us from that draining feeling and improves our health!  Gratitude opens us up to attract more abundance into our lives.
  4. Forgive yourself and know when it is time to walk away from things that do not lift you up!  I read every night before bed and I write in my journal.  In a nutshell, last night I was thinking about uplifting others and how that feels compared to the energy of being dragged down and trampled.  I don’t know why I never saw it before, but I am so happy I can recognize it now, and steer clear from it.  My intuition always tells me way ahead of time, but sometimes I tamp it down because I truly want to believe the person can change…but the truth is, they have to want that change and many don’t.  Recognize this pattern in your friendships now so you can start to create that space you need for good energy.

Thank you so much for reading, and if you are looking for more gratitude in your life, feel free to find my closed group.

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How I used My Empath Abilities to Heal

The articles I write on my Empath abilities are extremely personal to me.  If you find the linked article taken from my blog, please let me know.

Healing is one of the most difficult paths we might ever walk.  Cancer patients would agree with me I know.  Whatever it is you are struggling with, pain, disease, depression, anxiety, all leads us to a type of physical and mental anguish that sometimes we hide from the world.  I should know.  I was once known as Mrs. Happy.

I began to notice at a young age that I knew when people were just saying things to say them.  I knew when people were not honest.  When people said they were happy and weren’t really.  When people were suffering from an “affliction” of some sort.  Honestly, I wish I could tell you exactly what this sort of things feels like.  But I can’t.  It’s just this vibration of “not truth” that waves out around them.  That doesn’t even explain it well.  But imagine the thought bubbles popping up over someone’s head telling you exactly what they are really thinking.  Would you really want to know?  I didn’t.

As you can imagine, this type of thing leads to people not liking you.  They think you are a know it all, braggart or whatever when you are simply more aware of the truth than sometimes even they are.  But how does this bring me to my healing path?

The “knowing” led me to go to the doctor when I was only 22 years old and get tests run.  This “knowing” or intuition, was so deep that when doctors said something that wasn’t true or couldn’t possibly be it, I would either lead them to what was true, or seek out another doctor who would run the test I wanted.

It can be very frustrating when doctors don’t listen to you.  They thought I had just become certified in “Google” and was thinking I was a doctor myself.  But here’s the interesting thing.  I didn’t even know where to look for what was going on in my body, I just KNEW something wasn’t right.  I would close my eyes before I researched, take deep breaths, and start digging.

As soon as the right information became available, I immediately knew.  Extremely strong feelings washed over me and I felt like I had uncovered another puzzle piece.  Each and every time, I trusted myself, I became more whole again.  I started healing.  The path around me lit up more brightly.  And whispered to my soul “keep going”.

When I was not on the right path, or started second guessing myself due to doctors, I felt like I had a machete in my hand whacking away at weeds and briars, pulling some sort of Romancing the Stone Michael Douglas move in the rain forest of my life.  I would look back at how far I had come and know that I couldn’t go back.  I had to keep moving forward. 

So here I was on this path and no one understood it but me.  It was my path, and mine alone to make.  I learned to rely only on my own abilities, intuition and grit to move forward.  And I sure as hell was not going to give up no matter how hard it was, or how many mudslides I encountered that seemingly led me nowhere, but in fact, were part of the process that led me to new discoveries along the way.

How Can You Do the Same?

  1. Listen to that small inner guide, your inner wild woman, and don’t ever shush her.  She has some important things to tell you, and if you listen, you will know that she is guiding you on the right path.
  2. Just BE still.  I never discount that I am being guided by something higher.  In the Bible there is a passage that says “Be still, and know that I am God.”  For many years, I was made to feel that using my empath guide was wrong.  I was not worthy.  But wait.  What if I am worthy?  What if I was called to do this work and all these years I was squashing it because of some religious beliefs?  You can call your inner guide whatever you want.  Just listen to it without guilt.
  3. Learn to be open to possibilities.  I now take my stillness as time to connect and see things in the way I am being led.  I do a combination of prayer, meditation, and affirmations.  More often I am seeing this creep into my everyday life as something that I know I must do to get clear on my path.
  4. Reflect daily.  You MUST use a journal of some sort even if you say to yourself that you don’t like to write.  It is pen to paper.  You still your mind and breathe.  Then go with the flow of the pen.  This is very important as you move from thinking actively to feeling.  The thoughts just flow into your journal and before you know it, you might find what is blocking you written there on the vanilla paper.
  5. Let goThis one is the hardest one, I know.  Once you have done all that you can to work towards releasing your pain, to healing whatever it is that’s either physically or mentally causing you anguish, you have to release it.  No guilt.  No remorse. You have done the work.

I truly hope this helps you get clarity on something you are working towards.  If you are interested in doing more work, as a type of self-guided course, please feel free to visit my 4 Weeks to Wellness course.  You have to be willing to do the work for yourself in order for something to change in your life.  If you listen closely to your intuition as you work towards healing, you will find you already know what to do.  My course is merely a guide to help you uncover what you already know.  Hugsxx ~Aimee

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5 Signs Your Soul is Trying to Guide You (But you aren’t listening)

Each night, I go through my rituals of thinking about the life I want.  It didn’t used to be that way though.  Before my epiphany, I went to bed thinking about what I didn’t want in my life.  The funny thing is, that never got me anywhere.  I was miserable in my job, my health was failing as you know, and I couldn’t see through the red haze of pain.  I started clearing away everything, and I do mean everything, that was making me miserable. 

My soul couldn’t speak in words, but it sure was telling me that I was living my life wrong.  It was showing me through my pain that there was more out there, as well as my intuition that kept saying I could improve my entire well-being using my head-heart-health plan that I had started developing for myself.  I was on the right path and each time I would veer away, something would catch my eye and I would continue my research into holistic health and wellness.  When I was finally ready, I launched the 4 Weeks to Wellness plan in a small group for my friends and ultimately decided to open it to the public.

5 Signs Your Soul is Trying to Guide You:

  1. My intuition was going crazy and my empath skills were working overtime.  I was getting real-life friends messaging me all the time asking me to help them with something new that the doctor told them they had, and after talking to me they felt better.  I couldn’t sleep without answering their messages and once I did, I knew instinctively that I had put them on the right path.
  2. I spent lots of time thinking I was almost onto something big…I could just feel it.  But I had to make space for the messages to appear.  I had spent a lifetime of over-thinking and needed to re-wire my entire brain.  I started slowly and methodically re-centering my thoughts when they went away from my purpose.  I did this by eating right, moving, balancing my schedule, and creating self-care routines that were so necessary I started telling others about what I was doing.
  3. I noticed I was unhappy when I did things that did not feel authentic.  Let me un-jargon this for you.  There were people in a group who wanted me to sell, sell, sell.  Get customers of my all-natural products a certain way; however, it felt “icky” for lack of a better word.  I really like using kid terms as I was a teacher and they feel really pure to me.  Kids create and do what makes them happy.  They make their drawings never looking over to the other kid beside them going wow, his is better than mine.  I should have added more blue here or more this or more that.  No, they are like wow!!!  That is really pretty.  I like that.  They feel happy with what they create.  It is only later when start to compare ourselves to others.  <<<< I dislike this to the highest degree.  So I didn’t want to be like everyone else.  I wanted to do what felt right to me.  Basic-level happiness goals.
  4. Answer this question with the first thing that pops into your head:  What do you want?  If I was doing things that I didn’t want, I started to feel off course again.  Anxious, and not all present.  It was a clue that I needed to realign myself with all the methods I taught myself worked for me.  Am I just going through the motions on this?  Is this a path I want to go down or did I say yes because I was afraid to say no or afraid to miss out on something?  I had to stop and listen to my gut feeling about the situation.  Was this a hell yes feeling or a meh okay?  If it was not what I wanted, why did I put it on my plate to begin with???  I needed to cut that out.
  5. How do you feel when you get out of bed in the morning?  What is the first thing that pops into your mind when you think about work, or doing whatever you have planned for the day?  <<< note, HUGE flashing sign there.  I knew that I only had a short time here on this earth and I was wasting away because I thought I HAD to finish the job I went to college for.  I had to do what my parents thought, or my friends thought, or my colleagues thought was best for my future.  I had been programmed to think that way.  I had been programmed to think it was selfish to want to leave a perfectly good job when other people were looking for jobs.  How many times have I heard that one?

My soul was telling me each and every day that I was meant to help larger groups of people.  I lost all sense of time writing and teaching yoga.  I lost all sense of time helping other people on the path to wellness.  I felt such great joy at seeing my friend do a certain yoga pose for the first time or create her journal based off our talks.  When she showed me a particularly private page in her journal, it was an extremely vulnerable talk that we had, but I felt so proud of the things she had written.  She was not in the same place a year prior to that.  When my newly divorced girlfriend said she turned a corner and started feeling better after her journaling, I knew that my questions were leading these women to really cool places.  They were digging deep into what their souls wanted as well and we were uncovering layer after layer of programming.  Getting back to the core of who they were.

The last thing that really made me feel great about this path was when a friend said they wanted to cart me around with them to help deal with the anxiety and lead the journal questions in their mind on why they were reacting certain ways.  So I say again to you my friends, you really know what you have to do if you have read this article and thought of many answers to the questions your soul might be asking.  It’s time to start listening.

What does your soul want?New!  See the Head|Heart|Health tab for even more support!

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When An Empath Loves A Narcissist: The Lure Of The Broken Soul

empath loves a narcissistGuest post by Steve Waller

When An Empath Loves A Narcissist: The Lure Of The Broken Soul

They occupy opposite ends of the love spectrum, but empaths and narcissists often find themselves coupled up in unlikely relationships. But why? What is it that attracts one to the other?

This article will focus mainly on why empaths find themselves pulled towards narcissists, how they get trapped, and what they have to do to escape.

What The Empath Sees

Gifted with the ability to sense the underlying emotions and feelings of others, an empath is uniquely placed to see into the depths of a narcissist’s being to the wounded, unhappy soul that resides there.

Upon discovering this pained creature, the instinctual response of the empath is to try to help, heal, and love them.

Before they know it, they become entangled with this narcissist and the toxic relationship begins.

How They Get Sucked In

Narcissists can, when required, display copious amounts of charm and charisma. You might think that empaths would be less susceptible to this artificial persona, but it is precisely because they are beings of love that they wish to see the best in everyone.

They can sense the pain that is hidden behind the smile and the wit, while, at the same time, believing that this act is some sort of suppressed character trying to assert control. They think that they can help free it through their care and affection.

They envisage a time in the future when this narcissistic individual can become a changed person, cured of all their bad traits and free from pain. Once they believe in this possibility, they feel compelled to try to make it a reality.

What Stops Them Leaving

It won’t be too long before an empath begins to regret their decision to get involved with the narcissist. The person they initially fall for will quickly disappear, revealing the true nature of the beast.

The empath will shower love and kindness on the narcissist – to the point where it turns into adoration – in an attempt to purge the pain from them and soothe their damaged spirit.

But to the narcissist, this sort of attention is like a drug; they simply can’t get enough of it. And unfortunately for the empath, it only serves to reinforce the egoistic self-adulation.

Then comes the game playing and manipulation. To maintain their air of superiority, a narcissist will seek to control every situation involving their empath partner. They will use destructive and demeaning language to tear them apart, piece by piece, until they can exert their utter dominance.

In spite of all their good intentions, the empath will find themselves in a trap; one of loving a person who is incapable of caring for them, let alone showing love back.

But they aren’t yet aware of this trap; they continue to seek the narcissist’s affection in a vain attempt to mend the broken heart they see before them. They struggle to understand what is happening to them because, from their position, the behavior of their partner is utterly incomprehensible.

What happens next is quite possibly the most damaging aspect of the whole process: the empath looks at all of the pain and trauma now filling their life and pins the blame squarely on themselves.

Rather than accept that the narcissist is the cause of all their misery like they should, they insist that it is they who have failed. They wrongly believe that all the conflict and resentment in the relationship is their fault; that they somehow didn’t try hard enough to rid their lover of the pain they endure.

From this self-blame grows an unwillingness to do what is required; to break up with their narcissist partner. They proceed to lock themselves in their own prison by forfeiting their right to be happy. They insist that to do so would only heap more misery on the already tormented soul they have such affection for.

How They Finally Break Free

There is only one method of escape for the empath and that is to fully open their eyes to the situation they are in. In order to make a break for freedom, they must first understand that the original lure of the narcissist was misguided.

They must realize that it is nobody’s duty to fix another; that they have no responsibility to stay with their partner any longer. They must accept that whether the narcissist will ever change is not something they have any say in; they can only captain their own ship and it’s time to choose a different course.

This will not, by any means, be the last they hear from the narcissist. In an all-out bid to regain what they see as a possession, they will declare their undying love for the empath, swear they have changed, and make many promises that they know they cannot keep.

They will turn the charm back on and, for a while, the empath may see some of what they initially found so appealing. But if the empath can hold their nerve during this period, the narcissist will eventually unleash a barrage of malicious words and actions in a desperate attempt to pull their victim back in. This can be extremely difficult to endure and it can seem like the whole world is crashing down around you, but you must hold firm.

Leaving a narcissist isn’t the end of the story for the empath; it will take a long time for them to put the pieces of their life back together and even longer to regain their faith in the goodness of other people. But they will have broken the bond that so often draws empaths and narcissists together.

Are you an empath who has been through such a trial? Leave a comment below and share you thoughts and experiences.

Just for fun, take this quick quiz.

Steve WallerSteve Waller is the founder of A Conscious Rethink – a growing voice in the world of mind, body and spirit. He has benefitted greatly from self-help books and other aspects of the personal development movement, and now wants to share some of his knowledge and wisdom with those who need it. His Facebook page reaches millions of people each week with its mix of inspirational quotes, motivational videos, and helpful articles.

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