Where is the Mid-Life Crisis Guidebook?

Where is the Mid-Life Crisis Guidebook?The other night I was staring at the clock.  11p.m. (that is an early bedtime to be honest).  Midnight (the cool ideas start coming in and I have to either write them, or sleep).  Then the minutes slowly clicked by for what seemed like an eternity.  I started saying things to myself like, “If I fall asleep now, I can get like 4 hours of sleep”, and later I thought about giving up and going to write.

Can you take a guess as to what was keeping me up?  I bet you can.  The old “What the hell am I doing with my life”? Thought came up out of nowhere.  Well, seemingly nowhere.  You see, I turned another year older and I bet I am not the only one who occasionally has these thoughts.

I started to make a mental list…a sort of mid-life crisis checklist if you will.  Here is what went on it.

  1. What do I love, like absolutely love, about where I am now?  I want you to list in your journal or on your planner, somewhere by hand, what it is you love about your life and/or job right this moment.  If nothing changed, what is the best thing about your life, job and where you are?
  2. What would I change about where I am right now?  Usually this one is a whole lot easier, right?  We have lists that have lists and sections, and letters and points from A to Z on this.  But narrow it down to your top 3 things if you can here.
  3. Where would I go if I had the means, the freedom, and no one to judge me?  This is kind of like your bucket list perhaps.  I started thinking about travel here, and retreats that I would like to go on.  You can list anything you want here.  Including new jobs or new places to live.
  4. If someone had to say what I am passionate about, could they?  This one is huge.  If something happened to you, or if someone had to narrow down what you would fight for or what really makes you alive, could someone say that about you because it is so evident?  Here is where I said yes.  Yes.  I am doing the things I am passionate about and people could say what they are.
  5. Where does the doubt come from and what triggers it?  I already knew the answer to this one for myself, but do you?  I encourage you to think about your triggers, what stays in your mind all night and what you think about.  If you have a hard time with this, try my S.O.S. video tips << from the other day.  <<  Ignore the beginning where I talk about the internet to myself.  haha.

In the end, this checklist answered my own doubts and I knew what was the next step for me after thinking about this half the night.  I know that I love, more than anything, my readers.  I don’t get to connect to as many on some platforms, but I do get to connect to my Head|Heart|Health Club << and that is where I am making the biggest difference.  I am seeing the changes in the energy of the Club members, seeing how different they react to what is going on in their lives, and how connecting with their inner most thoughts through a combination of journal therapy, mindfulness and centering through basic yoga poses is working for them.  This is what I am most passionate about...  Helping others recover from poor lifestyle choices and learning that there is a new treatment plan that doesn’t merely ignore your emotional body, but really addresses those needs as well.

3 Things That Kill Your Dreams (And How To Handle Them)

Dream KillersPeople always told me, “Don’t quit your day job”.  No matter how many times I said, this is not what I went to school for.  I didn’t think it was going to be like this…I am miserable and the stress makes me ill (side note, it literally did make me ill, but probably the black mold and asbestos tiles didn’t help either).  I was a classroom teacher who only ever dreamed of being a writer.

I actually loved the thought of teaching without strings attached and the children if that makes sense…I did not love lots of other things.  So I started thinking to myself, if people don’t 100% love what they are doing every single day, then why not dream bigger?

So what happened when I finally decided to leave teaching and started secretly planning my escape?

3 Dream Killers…and how to handle them:

  1. Everyone will give you constructive criticism, but it’s not really constructive.  It’s what they would do.  People talk from their place of fear.  I did not have another job lined up.  Had no idea how I was going to make it if we dropped my salary.  I did not have a large savings.  There was no safety net.  I am a kind of jump person think later…soooo.  I get told how others would have done x,y,z.  The only thing that mattered to me was am I currently happy in my job?  No.  That was all I needed to know.  So people tried to break down my dream, or give me safety net options…like just take leave for a while.  So I told people that’s what I was doing finally.  But I honestly was not coming back because I believed that strongly in my dream.
  2. Losing friends, status, or ending up an outcast.  I didn’t worry so much about this the first year, because they all thought I might be taking a year off on one of those awesome things called a “sabbatical”.  If you tell people using special jargon, they are okay with it for some reason.  Ohh, hmm.  Okay, it’s a sabbatical.  However, eventually people started saying things like “Are you ever coming back?” or “Are you really making money?”  See, I had been teaching long enough to get a pin for being there a while, and then I left.  I sacrificed the next level of pin.  I was totally okay with this.  We sacrificed a few things that were wants not needs at home.  My family was okay with this.  And if I lost friends because of this, then they really weren’t my friends to begin with and I was equally okay with this as well.  I made new friends and forged new relationships in this new world of writing.
  3. Fear of failure, being laughed at or making mistakes.  I left 3 years ago, and the first year was the most exciting; however, it was also the year I had to remember to calm down and not go overboard with trying to fit everything I wanted to accomplish in 1 year.  Overnight success might seem like a thing, but I knew it was not the case.  I had to get more established and build trust.  I wasn’t going to find the next viral blog post in a year.  Or year two either…it took year three, but I was learning and I was growing.  I was teaching myself how to think like a business woman and to stop treating my dream like a hobby.  There was no other option in my mind by this point except to succeed at what I was doing.

What helped me turn the dream into a reality?

It was not a hobby.  It was a job.  I finally learned that lesson and took back my old office instead of writing on the sofa with my laptop.  I set up appointments, collaborations, and meetings internationally on Skype.  I said yes to things that scared the hell out of me…like meeting some of my new friends face-to-face overseas by accepting the offer of speaking internationally.  I created workshops with my local friend who really treated her business like a business, and I was grateful to be able to watch her say yes only to things that would propel her in the direction she wanted to go (P.S. she made the free meditation for you guys on my newsletter).  I read books from women I admired who did scary things…like Danielle LaPorte, and I breathed in her style.

I did not create the safety net for myself because I didn’t want to fall back on it.  I wanted to keep going and try new paths should the one I was on not work out.  Some way, some how, I was going to make this new business work.  I could actually be a writer, yoga teacher, wellness advocate, entrepreneur mom and follow my heart.  Start thinking of your dream daily and journal how it would feel to make it a reality.

sparkling

Save

3 Steps to Boost Your Heart Connection…

heart_tape

Did you know that we experience more inner confidence when we are aligned with our life’s purpose?  Individuals who feed their soul exude a kind of self-confidence that is not seen in other people.  These individuals know who they are (Finally!) and aren’t afraid to speak their truth…even if it means others won’t necessarily agree with them. 

Connecting to what your heart wants is very important in growing as a person.  Have you ever heard someone advise you to “Just follow your heart”?  Well that’s because doing what you love means listing to that inner guide.  That still voice inside you that some refer to as intuition.  When you take action driven by what you love, you learn to follow your passion without fear.  We learn to shift from the ego to the heart and it’s a beautiful thing.

3 Steps to Boost Your Heart

  1. Identify your passion.  What is it that lights you up from the inside out?  What topic is it that if someone were to ask you to speak about it in front of a whole room, you know without a doubt you would feel confident because of how passionate you are about the subject?  I already know the answer to this.  I am passionate about helping other people.  I know that without a doubt, and therefore, it is what appealed to me about my all-natural approach to healing and what continued to move me forward into my yoga practice.
  2. Love yourself.  This one is harder.  So in order to do this one justice, we do a little exercise in my Boost Your Heart program called leaving love notes to yourself.  It’s a journaling exercise and it really is important.  Notice qualities within yourself that help you to find meaning, pleasure and satisfaction.  Allow yourself permission to write down what is your true heart’s desire.  Sometimes, following your heart often requires you to  take a detour from the path others thought you should take.  It can be a long and lonely road initially…but not when you have someone to talk to about your feelings.  It’s important to know that you have worth and are important even if you aren’t doing what others expected you to do.  Trust the journey.
  3. Be authentic.  Have you ever done something that just doesn’t feel like you?  Maybe you weren’t available emotionally or mentally because you were trying to fit into a certain crowd.  You might have left a situation feeling drained actually because you were trying to keep up this appearance.  If you are tuned into how you feel now, and what you really and truly want, it changes the way you interact with people.  We must be willing to look at our lives with honesty and true reflection.  We must be willing to truly evaluate the parts of it that no longer serve our needs.

Are you truly following your heart?

I have worked with people who have these amazing dreams and desires, but for whatever reason, they ignore them because they think that they are unreachable.  Some women would prefer to pretend to be happy and sacrifice their true happiness but justifying that their inner dreams are not really that important anyway.  They have to be a mom, a wife, a teacher, a whatever and can’t be themselves.  They have fit their life into the role that they feel they must fulfill even if they have outgrown that role or it has them suppressing their inner most desires.  I am actually thinking of the woman in The Shift, Wayne Dyer’s movie.

When she woke up and told her husband she was going to stay at the beach for a few more days to paint, it was like an awakening was taking place in her.  She realized that her children didn’t even know she had a love of painting.  It was quite moving.  If you are ready to reconnect to what you love in life, and go fearlessly forward, I invite you to connect with me in my work with me tab.  It takes courage to follow your heart.

Boost_heart

3 ways to motivate yourself…

Are you in a rut?  Read on for motivation.

Have you ever heard the old saying “do what you love and love what you do?”  Well, if you haven’t heard it, stop and think about it for a moment.  If you can’t bear the thought of getting out of bed one more morning to go to your J.O.B. (Just Over Boring-Ass-Work), then it might be time to change things up a little bit.  But before you write your resignation, stop for a minute and take a good hard look at how you are coming into work.  Do you come to work fully prepared or are you scrambling everyday to get things done?  Do you greet people, you know everyone, not just the people in your work “clique”, with a smile?  What about that guy who gets on your nerves?  Mr. Loud on the phone?  Instead of blowing up at him one day, try giving him a compliment.  I know it’s difficult.  Trust me on this.  But try.  See if you can love what you do, and after trying this for a while, then think hard on what you want out of life.

Add some movement to your day.  This might seem like a little thing, but if you are working in a cubicle with no windows, set a timer.  Grab an office buddy and say hey, we need to take a walking break at lunch.  Let’s get out for a bit.  If you can’t leave your office, walk around it for a while.  I know this sounds funny, but do it.  Take the stairs, take extra hallways, just add extra movement.  I know someone who stands to use their computer…and I recently read an article on a treadmill system for the computer.  I am definitely not there yet.  But do some research on how being inactive harms the health…and then present a plan to your boss.  You know adding a pull-up bar to your doorway for folks.  Ha.  That’d be funny.  Nope, not today Fred.  You can’t come in until you do a pull-up, we’ll have to reschedule.  Only not so funny if Fred is your boss:)

Make small goals…that are actually achievable.  I love lists.  I have paper everywhere in my house.  Calendars.  Notebooks.  But I just bought this awesome list type notebook with quotes at the bottom of each page.  I might have a thing for quotes you know.  Anyway, I am jotting down 5 goals for each day.  Today I did yoga first thing in the morning at home before all my other work.  Erm…thus me writing later than usual, but HEY, I did one of my goals.  It feels good to be able to mark something off a list.  I have no idea why, but it does.  Maybe because I work from home and I am my own boss, but still.  Goals are important to me.  I made sure I followed up with clients, posted wellness tips, talked to another person I am helping with some goal planning, and finished writing another article I needed to write.  I like to get things done.  If you are not getting things done, put them where you can see them!  Mark those bad boys off.

As always, thank you for leaving me a comment on what works best to motivate you through your day.  And don’t forget the little social media sharing devices when you like love my tips!  Thank you readers.3 ways to motivate

See the top tab on Head|Heart|Health Club if you loved these tips!

Save

Save