Hacking failure…and using it to your advantage.

Failure sucks.  Yup.  We’ve all been there, done that.  You tried and failed miserably.  But what did you do with that knowledge?  Did you give up?  Go on to make more improvements in your life?  Change something about what you did and repeat it to achieve success?  I know that I have failed trying to do a yoga pose and actually fell on my nose…I luckily didn’t break it as I saw the fall coming, but I knew that I had to get stronger or I was not going to be able to hold myself up.

And that my friends, is what failure does for me.  It makes me want to get stronger.  I remember hearing this once about Thomas Edison when asked by a reporter if he should give up on the lightbulb: “Why would I feel like a failure? And why would I ever give up? I now know definitely over 9,000 ways an electric lightbulb will not work. Success is almost in my grasp.” 

As difficult as it is to remember this lesson, other approaches to what you are working on might work better.  If you feel like you need a fresh set of eyes on something, ask a friend for some objective help.  From personal experience, I know that I didn’t start off knowing how to play soccer.  I had to be knocked down quite a bit in the beginning.  And mountain biking.  Whosh.  I will never forget how ermmm it felt like I had ridden a horse for days in the saddle when I was done with a ride once.  I was like oh.  That’s why people wear padded pants.  Note taken.  And then the bruises and scrapes from falling, but I got back up.

3 lessons I learned from failure:

  1. You get back up and try again.  Okay, so maybe your ego takes a beating.  That does occasionally happen in life.  My ego went to the backseat as I was wrestling with invisible diseases.  Things that had once been easy for me, like eating, became very complicated.  Walking tired me out, so I had to learn new ways to get exercise in.  I came back to yoga and couldn’t do things that I once had a better grasp on.  I knew that it was time for me to get serious about moving forward and that I was really going to experience set-backs, but that no matter what, I couldn’t give up on what I wanted to accomplish.  I was going to complete yoga teacher training even if I soaked in a hot bath with salts every single night.  Even if it hurt to move…because one day, it wouldn’t hurt as much.
  2. There is more than one way to do something.  I started dissecting what was happening to me.  Most of you know that I am fascinated with research and the holistic approach to healing.  I knew that I had to think, act, and imagine the goal being accomplished.  I had to immerse myself in the experience of what I wanted…and I also had to think backwards.  I would take a yoga pose and go slowly.  If my hip was tight, I would have to work on hips for a while.  If I didn’t feel strong, I would have to work on my core again, which side note, ummm had been cut to save my baby (emergency c-section).  I couldn’t compare my progress to anyone’s in the room.  Comparison makes you feel like a failure.  <<< Do not do that to yourself.  You only have to better than you were the day before and that is the root of my progress.  I was not looking at where others were going.  I only looked to myself.
  3. Failure was teaching me how to set myself up for success.  I knew that throughout history, people have failed.  I didn’t own it like it was my shame to fail.  I didn’t think that inventors had woken up one day and said “Hey Wilbur, I think we should build this and fly.”  Poof.  They flew.  Nope.  The crashing part sets you up for that awesome day when you really do learn to fly.  So sticking my crow pose, in yoga this was my nemesis for a while, well, getting into that and holding it for longer than a second takes work.  I am still working, trust me, but the day I did it, I knew that I was making progress in many areas.  Not just the pose or the form, but the act of not giving up.  The act of perseverance and sticking to my goal.

hacking failure

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Feeling Lost? Are You Open for Help?

Are you open for help?

I was thinking about how hard it is to ask others for help.  Maybe this isn’t the case with you, but if you clicked on this, I think you were meant to read it.  You see I like to help others, I really do.  The weird thing is, I tend to isolate myself when I need help.

Why is being open for help so hard?

I think one of the reasons it is hard to ask others for help is because we assume society is going to see us as something less.  Truly.  Here is a wee example of a similar mindset.  My youngest has inherited my luck at finding faithful and true friends.  They are out there, and I do have my Unicorn (the one friend you can always call on no matter what), but right now, being a teenager is hard for her.  I went through this as well.

Scenario:  I have to be partners with x mom.  I know she left me out about 3 times, but I am okay with this.  Okay?  Don’t say anything.  I am fine.  <<< Not really, but okay.

So what advice would you give your teenage self if you could go back?

Don’t be the freaking Martyr. Seriously.  I told her to suffer in silence as this person continues to blow her off is not okay.  That is good advice for a teen and good advice for adults as well.  Be open and honest about the fact that being used is definitely not okay.

It is okay to not be okay.  Why do we have to say “No really.  I’m fine.”  If you aren’t fine, you aren’t fine.  No shame attached.  People who make you feel shame have had that passed down to them.  They were told to stuff it so often that they truly have stuffed their feelings inside.  Don’t let that be you.

Sit with it a while.  As the mom of not one, but two teenage daughters, I realize that occasionally I want to put on my armor and run into battle for them.  I need to sit down.  They need to sit down.  We all need to sit down.  Just be for a moment and see what happens.

Write about it.  I give everyone a journal.  I tell everyone to journal.  Ever since my red plastic Hello Kitty Diary days with the locking mechanism that got stuck, I journal.  I was around 6…seriously.  I also remember writing something that made me feel bad for the first time ever.  I “heated” someone I wrote.  Whew.  They had made me feel bad, made fun of me, and hit me.   So I heated them right back…and that made me feel bad.  That was the first time I can remember that I knew that wasn’t the answer to my problems.

Talk it out.  Now comes the time when we really need a good talking to.  NOT a private message.  NOT a series of short texts my people.  A chat.  A sit down.  People.  Don’t isolate if the problem is not going away.  The first thing I say to my girls is “Did you really talk?  Not a text??”  We can read into the words what we feel.  Not how they are intended.

Seek help.  If the situation hasn’t magically improved by doing the work above, it really is okay to say that you need some help or ideas in learning how to handle your problems.  Especially if it leads into the area of depression or thoughts of harm.  Have a list of trusted people.  Don’t have one?  Private Message or call a friend you trust especially if you know they have seen a mental health professional in your area.  Don’t want to do that because you want to stay private?  Use your friend “Google” and read the testimonials of the folks or reviews.

In the end, of course there are things we would all do differently, but today here is your most valuable lesson.  You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time, and now you might have different thoughts, but it is time to let it go.  If you need help moving on, ask.

Are you open for help?

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Can You Change from Being Reactive to Proactive?

The proactive approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it instantly, correct and learn from it.  ~Stephen Covey

If you aren’t sure if you are proactive or reactive, think about this quote for a minute.  Covey goes on to say that our behavior is determined by three main factors, and unfortunately, they start to look like a “Pavlov reaction” soon enough.

  • Genes: Did you inherit this character from your family?
  • Nurture: You got your character and ideas from how your parents brought you up.
  • Environment: The people and places around you are starting to influence your behavior.

So now that we have determined the basis for being proactive and reactive, it is likely you just decided that you might be just a wee bit reactive.

I don’t mind joking on myself to make a great point, and you can probably see this coming, but I was raised by very reactive people.  It makes for funny stories, it really does, but it makes it difficult to break out of such a cycle.  Here is where it is necessary to start though.   It is time to take off the gauntlets, and start learning your own set of skills for enacting change in your life.  After all…it is YOUR life. 

At some point in your life, it is likely that you have gotten drawn into the “I am going to have the last word” argument.  If you are someone who usually loves to have the last word, then this part will be difficult for you, but you have to try.  What can you do when every form of logic they are speaking just makes no sense, but they keep talking anyway???  <<< try not to flip out.

Here are a few tips for this situation.

  • They really just want you to come back and argue more in this situation…and nothing you say will actually change their mind.
  • Try this “I am not interested in having this debate with you…so I am going to do something more productive with my time.”
  • Stay silent and just look at them.  How often has this worked for you?  The key to your empowerment is to actually NOT have the last word…thus sending the message that there really is nothing to discuss.

When we are in the reactive state of mind, they control our reactions.  I repeat.  They are in control and usually know this by continuing to bait you. 

Here’s another one for you to think about.  You are at work and that co-worker who plucks your last nerve is spouting off at the meeting, the copy room or the lunch area.  You are minding your own business until they insert something that they claimed they did, but it was your idea first.  It could even be that PTA lady at your kid’s school, but it doesn’t matter.  They are being loud in order to get reactions from people.  They want praise and encouragement to continue this line of thinking.  How are you going to handle this?

  • Look them straight in the eye and congratulate them.  This is one way to handle it, but keep it simple.  Nothing more.
  • You have the choice to explore a different route now…and make your original idea much better.  After going down this route, then present it to your boss.  There’s nothing wrong with waiting until you have tweaked it.
  • Enlist in the support of others if you want to make a bigger impact with your idea.  If you really want to get over this person trying to control the situation, you could even ask them to help you with how to execute this plan.  It’s all in how you phrase it.

As we learn not to be reactive, and turn more towards the proactive way of thinking, we learn not to be stuck in this victim mentality that so many people are using each and everyday.  These reactive people exhibit the following signs.

Signs of reactive thinking:

  1. Failure to accept any responsibility.  It is always someone’s fault…except for theirs.
  2. Everyone in the nearest vicinity is at fault.  Blame never gets caught in their own two hands.  It’s like the game of hot potato…and they throw that thing away before you can see it stopped on them.
  3. They rationalize their destructive habits.
  4. They focus only on the problems...never wanting to move to a solution.
  5. They might live in the past or the “what if” land.  What if things had been different??  But they aren’t.  So here you have it.

Signs of proactive thinking:

  1. The buck stops hereIt is your responsibility to get things done.
  2. You are accountable.  Your goals are clearly defined and you know what you need to do in order to reach them.
  3. You have good problem solving skills or seek out others who can help you create the skills you need in order to accomplish the change you want to see in your life.  It does not have to be business related, it can be completely personal goals.  For example: losing weight.  You have been struggling, so you seek out ways to make it happen with a plan.
  4. They are consistent.  Slow and steady really does work for keeping your eye on the change you want to create in your life.
  5. They aren’t worried about reaching out to the right people in order to succeed.  I have been running a closed group of motivated people from all over the world.  On days we need to remember that our goal is mastering our thoughts, we put in the work, ask the questions in the group, and start back at our monthly goals.  We have surrounded ourselves with like minds in order to really focus on creating this lasting change for ourselves.

In the end, being honest with yourself is best.  If you think it is time to do the work on the inside in order to get results on the outside, we would love to have you in our group.  Being reactive throughout life didn’t really yield any personal satisfaction when I was in my worst pain.  However taking control of those thoughts, and taking control of my Head|Heart|Health, has given me an entirely new outlook on life.

I went from pain of hardly being able to move, to completing 200 hours of Vinyasa yoga teacher training.  I then continued on to get certified in yoga for pain and arthritis.  I left a job that was taking a toll on my health and I learned how to heal myself naturally, and then continued on to get sports nutrition certification.  I started counseling others how to do the same and this year, was proud to announce the new online catalog that includes different options to really take back control of your life.

7 Ways to Spend Less Money and Have More.

Over the weekend, I tried to clear out my junk mail folder, but more e-mails kept appearing with things I needed that were on sale.  I am going to be honest, what I like to spend money on now is not necessarily more clutter, it is less.  I am buying very introspective gifts, and I am loving it.

I am doing this because I have found in really thinking about the things I want more of, it’s not necessarily more items, it happens to be more of the feeling associated with the item.  Catch my drift?

Last year, I was worried about money.  Worry begets more worry.  This year, I am not worried about money, but I am learning to have a much better relationship with it…so it can last longer and perhaps do that thing in my bank account called multiply.  No matter where you are in your money journey, this lesson is for you.

7 Ways to Spend Less (and really have more):

  1. If money was no object, make a list of things you’d really want.  Seriously.  Now look at that list, and think about what you really need.  Go back and circle those items.  Of the ones circled is there a pattern you can identify?  Like clothes?  Food?  Things to keep you warm?  Do you have lots of things on your list that are far-fetched or is there a feeling behind them that you are trying to reproduce?  Write down the feeling if the word comes to you.  Just let it sit there and marinate for a while.
  2. Look around your house.  What is truly enough for you? Do you have plenty of food in the refrigerator?  Do you have plenty of clothes?  I read the other day that we, in the United States, have so many clothes donated that yearly clothes are being thrown away in landfills…and they don’t magically go away.  It’s not like they are biodegradable.  I know that I am a clothes hoarder, so I listened to what it said about maybe just buying the higher quality items that last a while longer instead of the cheaply made things.  I also thought about all the ways you can reuse items.  If you are crafty, you know those pins where you magically turn your shirt into a vest or a scarf?  I love those ideas in theory, but I am just sticking to buying less.
  3. Save the dough.  There are a few theories about paying for things in cash.  I personally have been paying off credit cards, and trying to get my husband on board with this no credit card thing.  Sadly, he isn’t as on board with this idea, so I make him turn around and pay it right off.  He never looked at the interest really…he was a minimum monthly payment guy.  I said look, there is no point in couponing the heck out of everything when you can save money just by actually using cash.  Seriously.  I mean if you have mad couponing skills, go ahead with your bad self.  I am lucky if they take the one off the package that I buy specifically because it had that coupon attached.  And that’s okay.  Don’t feel guilty, just shop smarter on big purchases if you can.
  4. Bargain hunt…your gyms, yoga, exercise classes.  I admit that it’s probably easier to stay at one place, but how often do you buy a contract for ohhh say $60 a month and not go?  I stopped doing that after I realized I was wasting money.  I even stopped my $10 gym contract.  I now only buy what I need.  Groupon for a month on my local yoga studio is half the price.  Special offers, I will take that.  New people get a week free, oh sign me up.  But the best kept secret is the places that offer 10 class passes as they are cheaper and you are sure to use the number of classes.  Read all the fine print and the expiration date.  Let’s be honest.  In January you are going to think you “need” to join a gym.  Ask for a 10 pack of classes somewhere for your Christmas gift or birthday.  Also, ask for your friend to ask for the same thing so you have an accountability partner.
  5. Create mostly free night outs with your friends.  Do you like to journal, color, or just chat after a long week over some wine?  Well, invite everyone to your house and make it half the price as going out.  Likewise, get your friends in on the deal.  It really can be a nice way to spend time without paying lots of money.  Set up monthly rotations if you want to, but it really does save money!
  6. Circle back around to your list from up top.  Identify where you spend money to feel better.  I used to shop mindlessly because new clothes made me feel better.  Now, I buy a few online courses for around $10 and work on quiet practices.  I buy my friends books off of Kindle when they go for sale for like .99 cents.  If I am feeling restless, I head out the door on a walk or I do yoga outside or at a studio.  I have identified the problems that were making me want to spend money on things I didn’t need.  One of the first things I notice is have I been on the computer too much?  Why is this a problem?  That brings me to my last point.
  7. You are enough.  Your friend is posting about her new car, clothes, expensive bag, trip, hat <<< whatever.  What feelings rise to the surface as soon as you see it?  Observe these feelings for a minute and then be happy for your friend, but know that you are enough.  You have enough.  There is no one out there like you, and that is true.  Comparison, in my opinion, is the root of many woes.  We see the glossy surface of the person…the trips…the selfies they upload every single day, but in reality, it tells you nothing about what is going on underneath it all.  It is just the highs and trust me, everyone equally has their fair share of lows.

In the end, you know that money doesn’t truly make you happy…okay, fine.  It does help.  However, paying it forward to someone in need, donating gently used clothes to a family, collecting food, donating your time to the soup kitchens and making the homeless blessing bags.

Let Alone

Overcoming the 10 Biggest Obstacles to Creating

Overcoming the 10 Biggest Obstacles to Creating

Guest Post by Leo Babauta

Every day I struggle with the resistance to writing, and every day I lose the struggle … but then I beat the struggle.

I lose more often than I win, but I win every day. And that’s what matters. Because we can’t get rid of the resistance to create — whether that’s creating art, starting a business, or writing. The resistance will always come up … but we have to learn how to overcome it, to work with it.

Do you face this resistance, and struggle with procrastination? Do you want to create daily, but face difficulty finding focus and fighting off distractions?

Let’s talk about creating that habit, and how to overcome the obstacles that get in the way of the creation habit.

Today I’ll share the main obstacles and what I do to overcome them.

What stands in our way of the creation habit? Here are the main ones:

  1. Distractions. We all face the problem of distractions, and we all give in to them. The only way to overcome them is to clear them away with a clean sweep: bookmark all your tabs, close your browser, close all other programs, turn off your phone, and open only the program you need for your creating. A blank text editor, a sketch pad, nothing else. Set a timer for 5 minutes, and just start. When the 5 minutes is up, congratulate yourself, let yourself be distracted, then set the timer again. You can work your way to 10-15 minutes over time, but start with 5.
  2. Fantasies about how easy/nice the creating will be. It’s not easy — it’s hard and messy. These fantasies get in the way, because when we face the reality, it never measures up to what we’d hoped. Instead, we need to recognize that our fantasies aren’t real, turn to the reality, and be grateful to be here in this moment. It’s hard and messy, but still great, and we should be thankful for the opportunity.
  3. Fear of failure. Yes, putting ourselves out there is scary, and not being good at something is frightening as hell. But how do you ever get good if you don’t try? You have to suck, daily, for a long time. Unfortunately, that’s not easy. So to get us through the suck, we have to have fun, embrace the suck, allow ourselves to play. Write a shitty first draft, work on it some more until it’s a bit better, get the help of someone who knows what they’re doing, get feedback and get better. And play around the whole time, like we did when we were kids. We didn’t stop from finger painting when we were kids because we might suck at it — we did it for the fun!
  4. Discomfort with the difficulty/confusion. It’s uncomfortable to do something that’s confusing, where we don’t know what we’re doing, filled with difficulty. The only way I’ve learned to overcome this is to sit there, as I’m feeling like quitting, and just feel the discomfort. Allow my mind to complain. Allow myself to want to quit, to feel sorry for myself. And just sit. I’ll feel this discomfort, and realize it’s not that bad. Then I can just write, even though I’m uncomfortable, and realize that I’ll be OK.
  5. Perfectionism. We want things to be great, so we nitpick and are unhappy with the results. It stops us from actually creating. So we need to smash through perfectionism, embrace shitty first drafts, and get into the habit of just putting stuff out there imperfectly. I do this by not allowing myself to edit before I publish a post. I just publish, tweet it, then go back and edit. It’s scary, but by forcing myself to put it out imperfectly, I don’t worry about perfectionism anymore.
  6. The urge to switch. As you’re trying to write/create … you’ll want to switch to something else. Check email, check social media, check the news, clean the kitchen. The timer method (5 minutes) helps to highlight this … set the timer, don’t let yourself switch to anything else until the timer is up. Just write one sentence, draw one line. Just start, then when you get the urge, sit. Stay. Feel the urge. Let your mind complain. But don’t give it anywhere to run. Then start again.
  7. Interruptions. I write in a house full of kids. I just kindly tell them I need to write for an hour (or whatever), and plug in some headphones. Or get out of the house and go somewhere with solitude.
  8. Not enough time. We are all busy. Who has the time to focus for an hour or two? Well, forget about an hour. Just do it for 5 minutes. You have that much time. Cut out some distractions, some social media, some TV, some online reading, and you have an extra 5 minutes (or more). After awhile, find another 5 minutes. If it matters, you’ll find a few minutes here and there, and put the creating first.
  9. Being tired. It’s impossible to focus and work hard when you’re tired, right? Wrong! You can do it, if you really want to. You can go for a run if you’re tired. You can carry a stranger to safety if their life is in danger, even if you’re tired. You just need to really want it. So ask yourself this: why do you want to create? Is to help others? To express yourself? To do something good for yourself or other people? How important is this intention to do good? Is it important enough to prioritize, to set aside time, to push through confusion and distractions? Is it important enough to push through tiredness? If not, just forget it.
  10. Negative self-talk. We tell ourselves, “I can’t do this,” or “I suck at this,” or “I can do this later.” This kind of self-talk, often unnoticed, can be defeating. So how do we counter it? By paying attention. Shine some light on it. Use the timer method, and when you want to quit and the timer is still going, force yourself to sit there. Listen to your talk, but don’t believe it. Your mind will do anything to get out of this work, so don’t heed its commands, but just sit there and heart the talk, like the complaints of little kids. Give your inner child some compassion, but don’t give in to the complaints!

You’re doing this for a reason that should be as important as saving the life of a loved one, or it’s not worth doing. Ask yourself how much you want this, then take the steps you need to take — sweep away distractions, put on headphones, set a timer, sit through the urge to switch, push through the tiredness.

If it’s important, you have it in you.

trust the process

3 ways to motivate yourself…

Are you in a rut?  Read on for motivation.

Have you ever heard the old saying “do what you love and love what you do?”  Well, if you haven’t heard it, stop and think about it for a moment.  If you can’t bear the thought of getting out of bed one more morning to go to your J.O.B. (Just Over Boring-Ass-Work), then it might be time to change things up a little bit.  But before you write your resignation, stop for a minute and take a good hard look at how you are coming into work.  Do you come to work fully prepared or are you scrambling everyday to get things done?  Do you greet people, you know everyone, not just the people in your work “clique”, with a smile?  What about that guy who gets on your nerves?  Mr. Loud on the phone?  Instead of blowing up at him one day, try giving him a compliment.  I know it’s difficult.  Trust me on this.  But try.  See if you can love what you do, and after trying this for a while, then think hard on what you want out of life.

Add some movement to your day.  This might seem like a little thing, but if you are working in a cubicle with no windows, set a timer.  Grab an office buddy and say hey, we need to take a walking break at lunch.  Let’s get out for a bit.  If you can’t leave your office, walk around it for a while.  I know this sounds funny, but do it.  Take the stairs, take extra hallways, just add extra movement.  I know someone who stands to use their computer…and I recently read an article on a treadmill system for the computer.  I am definitely not there yet.  But do some research on how being inactive harms the health…and then present a plan to your boss.  You know adding a pull-up bar to your doorway for folks.  Ha.  That’d be funny.  Nope, not today Fred.  You can’t come in until you do a pull-up, we’ll have to reschedule.  Only not so funny if Fred is your boss:)

Make small goals…that are actually achievable.  I love lists.  I have paper everywhere in my house.  Calendars.  Notebooks.  But I just bought this awesome list type notebook with quotes at the bottom of each page.  I might have a thing for quotes you know.  Anyway, I am jotting down 5 goals for each day.  Today I did yoga first thing in the morning at home before all my other work.  Erm…thus me writing later than usual, but HEY, I did one of my goals.  It feels good to be able to mark something off a list.  I have no idea why, but it does.  Maybe because I work from home and I am my own boss, but still.  Goals are important to me.  I made sure I followed up with clients, posted wellness tips, talked to another person I am helping with some goal planning, and finished writing another article I needed to write.  I like to get things done.  If you are not getting things done, put them where you can see them!  Mark those bad boys off.

As always, thank you for leaving me a comment on what works best to motivate you through your day.  And don’t forget the little social media sharing devices when you like love my tips!  Thank you readers.3 ways to motivate

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Guest blogging…

Hey everyone, I am appearing as a “guru” this week.  Isn’t that a fun word to say?  Guru.  “Sheila Burke is an inspirational and spiritual author and the founder the online communities of Hello Peace, Irie and Zensational Living” and this website called HelloPeace.Guru has my latest article.  Please pop over and have a look at her page.  Of course, I ermmm, used my funny GINORMOUS sunglasses photo, and should have used a different photo.  But that’s me…going all Elton John on you.  Except I’m pretty sure his glasses aren’t $5 or less.  Okay, next up, I found out the e-zine I wrote 2 articles for isn’t going to continue.  Sad face.  So I will publish one of those articles here soon as it really went in depth about illness and how to come back from it.

Being a guest blogger is fun and it’s also an easy way to get your name out there.

I also wrote something for this lovely lady that I met in my Wellness University group and she is publishing it on Tuesday I believe.  Here is a little something about Tina C. Hines.  “Tina C. Hines strives to educate, empower and enlighten women as they embark on their own personal journeys.  Tina’s professional career has always had one major focus – to inspire women to recognize that a part of them may be lying dormant within and reconnecting with that woman can transform their lives.”

So if you would like for me to write for you, just let me know.  My goal is to get all of my writings together on living with invisible diseases and publish a book.  I already have it started…just have to complete it.  I also want to launch a better website.  I love blogging and loved that this was a free site, but I need more.  So my next goal is to offer a free sort of e-letter, maybe a newsletter, and then the book.  The days of Facebook being the way I got the word out on my fan page seem to be dying.  I do have my business Vitalize You there, but even that has trouble getting seen.

Don’t be afraid to ask me questions about your own invisible illness.  If I know something that might help you, I will tell you.  I am not a doctor as you all know.  Merely someone who has been researching these diseases for 17 years now.  Give or take which one we are talking about.  And my nightly reminder for everyone:

 

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Motivational Monday…stress

When they tell you not to bite off more than you can chew…you need to listen.  The problem is, maybe “they” have never been broke.  Maybe “they” have never been in debt.  And I’m definitely thinking “they” don’t know what it’s like to worry and/or stress over whether or not you will have enough to pay for groceries.  Sometimes, people have to do what they must in order to survive.  Even if this means adding to their stress.

Ways to survive this type of stress are to take breaks during your work day.  I read recently that you should set a timer.  Every 50 minutes or so.  Ha.  But I think that would help me out with my current craziness because then I would realize I have not eaten lunch…that e-mail can really wait.

Go to yoga.  I say this quite frequently.  But seriously.  Either that or learn to meditate…unless having some type of wine port attached is legal.  I don’t think it is yet.

If I was the boss, wait I am the boss of myself, sort of, I would make mandatory no work after 5 p.m. ever.  No work on weekends, ever.  And that sort of thing rules.  I really wish I could do that to myself.  Why is it people who work from home end up working more???  Someone forgot to mention that to me. 

Someone smart in your company needs to streamline the processes for other people.  I really liked to make things easier on other teachers when I was a teacher.  I liked group planning because IF it ran the way it was supposed to, oh yeah it didn’t, but if and when it did on rare occasions, you would really come out with like a version of the easy button.  EVERY company needs this.  I can’t stand it when there is no version of something that everyone needs to use.  I end up creating my own documents for future reference.

So that’s my motivational tips for today.  If there is an easy button, use it folks.  Just use it.

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Motivational Monday…code of conduct

One of my biggest faults, or one of my biggest assets depending on how you look at it, is my inability to keep quiet when wrongs are being done.  Whether it would cost me my job or not, which by the way it never has, but I’m just saying it could, I have made it a point to share the things that go on behind the scenes.  Why do I do that?  Because quite simply it boils down to a code of conduct I think human beings should personally hold themselves accountable to whether or not anyone is looking. 

This includes e-mail messages, private messages, cyber-bullying, phone conversations, texts and the like.  Just because you can’t see someone, does not mean they don’t have feelings.  I honestly wish I didn’t have a hard time with people being nasty…maybe I could be like the see no evil monkeys and just sit there and pretend it doesn’t happen like so many people.  But you see, that’s why the world is in the mess we are in now.

As a teacher, the desire to teach tiny people social-emotional skills was very important to me.  We are losing our HUMANITY as sure as I sit here and type this.  Parents were not showing respect to teachers, principals and other school staff.  They were not showing respect to other parents, and they sure weren’t able to teach respect to their children.  This week alone I saw friends post about children doing horrible things out in public and the parents were…on their phones ignoring the children.  The children then acted out more, etc.

So adults have taken on a kind of behavior that was not seen 20 years ago.  They think they can say anything on Facebook, post anything on social media, and it is okay.  We need to bring back social skills to our children.  We need to teach interaction with other human beings and we also need to learn the word “NO”.  No, you can’t treat me that way.  No, you can’t act a fool in public.  No, you can’t come in here on the first day of school and kick your momma.  I am going to have something to say about that.  Just as you can’t “cuss” at folks.  So teachers, hold your ground.  Hold.  Your. Ground.  As you prepare for this year, do what you know is right.  It’s okay to take time to teach social skills.  It’s okay to say no, you can’t act that way in my room.  Period.  Maybe, just maybe, the tiny ones will go home and show some of these very fine social skills to their folks.

CriticizeHold. Your. Ground.

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Motivational Monday…for times life is hard

There are days I write these and I think, “What could I have to say at a time like this that would motivate anyone?”  And then I write anyway.  Today is definitely one of those days.  I am exhausted, aching again, and spent the last 4 days without a working kitchen sink.  That meant no dishwasher or running water to use…anyway, moving on.  I walked outside the other day and noticed the back of my roof was warped.  I was sweeping my back porch and I swear it it actually sinking…SINKING.  There may or may not be a leak further down the line in my pipes and we probably need new pipes leading up to the house put in as I have lived without water pressure for about 7 years now…not a big thing really.  It’s an old house.

You see, I fell in love with the backyard.  The BACK yard, where I don’t actually live.  Once I walked outside, I was entranced.  It looked like a magical place to raise my kids.  The house was a hot mess.  I have worked on it for years with the help of various people, friends, acquaintances, etc.  Whoever would come do the occasional odd job.  And suddenly this weekend, it seemed like I was ready to sell it.  I was tired of trying to keep up with it.  Then I read my friend’s post in Australia.  I realized, that no matter where we are in this world, we all have similar problems, but someone can be in worse shape.

Now my Aussie friend has some sort of asbestos problem named Mr. Fluffy.  Not funny, but I mean, Mr. Fluffy?  Really???  She isn’t very happy with you right now Mr. Fluffy.  Then, I think of my friend who lost her house due to Chinese Drywall.  Her story was extremely scary, but luckily she has a new house in a new state.

So, erm, there was also the problem with the R-words here.  That was actually nasty, but it has been taken care of.  Apparently, there was an outbreak of some sort of roof R-words.  R-words can not be tolerated.  Anyway, moving on.  I am not going to go into everything, but the bottom line is, with the exception of the R-words, we can actually live here.  R words rhyme with bat…just saying.

So, the bottom line today, is that hopefully after my aching exhaustion goes away, things will be okay again.  My girls helped me clean up, things are working for now, and I then had to sleep most of the day due to said fatigue, but it will be ok.  So I say to you my friends, things will be okay.  They are not maybe right this minute, but luckily, things change.

 

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