What in the world do happy people do differently?
Anger, pride, jealousy, and greed can get in the way of your happiness. You might think that in order to be happy you must have X amount of money. You might think that in order to be happy you must have the perfect job and have the title of Ruler of All. Whatever floats your boat. The funny thing is, you will always want more.
On the outside, some people appear to have it all. They shine and sparkle even when their smile doesn’t really reach their eyes. Once they realize that they are in charge of their own happiness, you will notice the sparkle reaching their eyes as well.
“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama
6 Things Happy People Know:
1. You are unique. That’s right. Even if you are a twin, you are still different. Only you have the power to decide how you are going to feel, react and go about your day. What you decide to act on is ultimately up to you.
2. A bad moment doesn’t make a bad life. Remember when you were a kid and you had a bad moment? Maybe you wanted to run away, or hide in your room, but then you woke up the next day and it was sunny and beautiful and you forgot all about whatever made you mad? Those were the days, huh? When did we start living in the movie Groundhog Day? Stop this shit for real. Wake up, stop thinking about whatever happened yesterday and move on. Don’t even call the moving company to haul all your old baggage with you. Nope. Just get on with life. Make new memories.
3. Nice people exist. I have found them. And at times, I have been one. I went through a horrible period of time where I wasn’t one and I disliked all happy, nice people. When you are in pain and chronic pain is your life, you can’t think past the pain at times. It does change you. It really does. But if you are lucky enough to come out on the other side of that, remember how you felt as you interact with those who seem unhappy daily. Focus on the rare moments they seem happy and compliment them on something…anything. Trust me, they need it.
4. Good can come through change. My motto is “Changed people, change people.” For those of you who read the newsletter, you know this. I will always live with invisible diseases for the rest of my life. But how I live is up to me. If you were dealt a hand that you want to walk away from, start thinking about how you can play the cards. What can you do that will help others learn from your mistakes?
5. Everybody has their own baggage. A friend once said to me, “Everyone wants you to get your hands dirty helping them push their own shit cart up the street.” That one statement changed the way I help people. I no longer wanted to take on their “stuff” as my own, but sought a way to help my clients see what was really theirs and what they were carting around that might have been accumulated from other people, or even old ways that just weren’t serving them anymore. It was time to lighten the cart.
6. We make our own happiness. I was once put in the middle of something that was definitely not my fight…but for some reason, I tried my best to help. I later realized that I never could have helped, and it was only a matter of time before the outcome imploded on the makers of the situation. You see, these people relied on things, friends, money, events, gatherings, alcohol, and whatever else was available to be temporarily happy. That’s like putting a band-aid on a giant wound that needs stitches. You have to get to the root of the problem and start there. Peel back the layers. Use all the tips I talk about. If you can’t fix it, seek help. Mental health professionals, yoga, meditation, or something that will soothe your soul, not numb it. In my wellness coaching, I do my best to let my clients peel back their own layers and start healing. This is the only way to move forward my friends. Look within.
Ring. Ring. Buzz. Beep. Bloop. What’s all that? Oh it’s your devices going off. Deadlines are coming up. You are stressed out. Stress leads to sickness. So take a minute to re-charge without feeling guilty because in the long run, you will be much better off.
How do I relax?
1. Go to your happy place. Where’s my happy place? If you don’t know, chances are you need to relax. For me, it’s the beach. Since I live near there, I can go stick my feet in the sand and relax. But it could easily be a hammock, a favorite restaurant, a movie, a good book, or just closing my eyes for a few minutes thinking about my children, husband and dachshunds. Or perhaps a massage in Jamaica. Whatever:)
2. Listen to music. I have eclectic taste in music. Okay, fine, I listen to old music mostly. However, I have songs that bring about happy feelings, so they relax me. I can just put on some Rusted Root and send me on my way to my happy place. I can listen to Celtic inspired music and dream about the day I actually get to go to Ireland. And Bob Marley and his birds, well, I need them to remind me about the joys of little things.
3. Breathe deeply and be present. Unfortunately, this one is my nemesis. I work on staying present, but it’s like this giant battle in my head. “Oh look. It’s the past. Let’s go there.” Or “Hey, let’s go down this path to worry. You like it a lot.” Noooo. Not there. Path to now. Let’s stay on that path. “Wait, a bunny. It’s leading me to what if?” WHAT IF?? No. Absolutely don’t follow the bunny. Bad bunny. Trying to take me down the rabbit hole.
4. Unplug from devices. Bzzz. Beep. Bling. Message. Text. Call. Notifications x 100. Groups. FB status. E-mail. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Stop the insanity! That’s why for family vacations, people might be extremely surprised to find out the social media gal, that’s me, goes away to state parks that don’t have internet or any connection to the outside world. Muhaha. And if you are that person who has tried to remove Facebook from your phone for the third time…but re-installs it. Or deletes their profile…and gets back on. Well, at least you tried.
5. Get moving! Honestly, this is the best. I do “the yoga” to relax. It helps me get into my flow, which I have mentioned before, is my moving meditation. It is the way I truly and fully live in the now. I listen to the teacher and focus only on me. I don’t care what you are doing in the class, I really am focused on me. Sometimes, I might make a joke under my breath that others close by might hear as I talk myself through a pose…but I am truly only thinking about the present moment. I am trying not to talk to myself as much about my short comings…but working alone, I spend lots of time in my head. That’s why this one is the best for me!!
So here’s the deal. You don’t know me other than this blog, but I am the real deal. Everything I say on here has happened…I decided to update the fan page with a photo of me so that people who have been following me for a long time can feel more connected. I’ll never forget that day I told my girlfriend I had a secret…I wanted to write about the truth in my life. She said go for it and the blog was born. She was like my one fan for a long time. But I didn’t know that others were really paying attention when I posted it to my Facebook page and that they didn’t know it was my blog.
When I finally admitted that the girl they knew long ago was in fact the girl with invisible diseases, many people were shocked. Because I look “well”. Anyway, as most of you know one disease led to another and I was trying to teach kids y’all. I loved my job. I did. It was challenging and hard and scary at times, but I loved making a difference. More than that, I loved giving things away. I brought all my kids clothes in…including underwear. Yes. Because what you don’t know is that some of it was even brand new. Why would I give other people’s children things like underwear? Because they had none of their own. And socks. And warm things. Anyway, it just makes me sad to think of it again. I put clothes in backpacks because they had “accidents” and never asked for it returned. Of course sometimes they didn’t have accidents. I just wanted them to have things.
So I have been feeling like I am not making a difference being out of work this past ummm going on 2 years, to heal my body. My beautiful friend with cancer understands because she was another teacher. And when people ask us to do things, it’s hard to say no. It’s extremely difficult to take care of us first. Why in the world it is, I have no idea. So a while back, I wrote a long letter thing to a certain blogger who is kind of awesome. Her people read it. They did. And they sent me a reply. They are interested in helping my friend. I opened the e-mail and my eyes were leaking. I responded and told my friend and we don’t know what will happen, but we just are so happy. Real HAPPY. Not even Fappy.
Because life shouldn’t be this hard. We are all here to help one another…and I have this quote I like about that. But also GIVING begets GIVING. Like that part in the Bible where everyone uses the word begets. It’s true. I had extra produce because here is a secret. A friend of mine thought of me for this one day a week job…and it fits my health. I can rest after and I get fresh produce!! OHHH and I get to blog about some recipes…even though I secretly don’t enjoy cooking. So that part is hilarious. Moving on. BUT I had something to give back to people, so I went to a house that gives shelter to battered women and homeless women/children. I gave them a whole box of produce that was mine. Then I posted on my FB page I wanted to help if anyone knows someone needing produce…and lo and behold a teacher,ha, gotta love us, anyway needed to help a student. So I zipped over and gave another box of produce. Then someone else said they needed books and things, but they are out of state, so logistically I am figuring out postage…but I’ll get it done.
AND last but not least, THANK YOU reader. You know who you are. You found my Go Fund Me for my dachshund boy…I was thinking people thought he was too old to help. But you didn’t. And I can’t stop crying this morning. You make me HAPPY. So this was what I needed. I miss giving to people. And feeling needed. You my friend I have never met, are awesome.
Still love this quote.
Ahhh. Cooler nights. Chatting with friends outside. Strange and funny topics. Cider beverages for me. Nice. I was sitting here remembering a book I used to read as a child. It was actually written by Charles Schultz. Happiness is a Warm Puppy
Love that man and his thoughts. Happiness is a warm puppy to me, and I have three, so I am very happy. Happiness is my daughters. Happiness is my husband as we just celebrated our 15th anniversary and so many couples don’t make it that far. Happiness is crisp nights, warm socks, snuggly blankets and a fire. Happiness is coffee or tea. Happiness is my herb garden and being outside. Happiness is true, honest to goodness friends. Happiness is whatever you make it. I know I nag my husband, and I know my faults better than anyone, so I am going to reflect for 10 minutes everyday about the good things in life. I appreciate this year to be who I really am and to be more involved in everyday activities.
“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.” ~Margaret Young
This is the best advice I can give anyone today:
“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”
A small collection of quotes on being a mother.
A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~Tenneva Jordan
A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. ~Peter De Vries
The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. ~Honoré de Balzac
When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty
All mothers are working mothers. ~Author Unknown
A mom’s hug lasts long after she lets go. ~Author Unknown
Lastly, two of my favorites:
A little girl, asked where her home was, replied, “where mother is.” ~Keith L. Brooks
The other night I was half falling asleep looking at the digital photo frame and a photo of my dog Noel went by. Some of you remember what happened to her, and the decision I had to make. It still makes me sad beyond words. The kind of sadness that can’t be cured…it can only be masked until you remember it again. I know I did what was right for her and only I could make that decision. My two new fur babies have brought me great joy, but I still carry around some guilt over the loss of my old dog, and probably always will (yes, I know…say no to guilt).
I remembered a post I made last year that inspired a friend to do something wonderful and I decided I needed to do that again. So this month, I am focusing on finding at least one story a week that shows how one person has helped relieve the suffering of another person by showing compassion. There are many ways to do this, so if you know of a story, please feel free to comment. I am going to start with one most of you might have already heard about. Yes, the Mysterious “Secret Santa”. The story is wonderful and brings tears to my eyes every time I read it.
This post is dedicated to Noel. Thanks for always cheering me up. Now it’s my turn to do that for others.
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lama
Life has a way of slapping you in the face and telling you to wake up. Just when you get comfortable with things, just when you let your guard down, Life says “Snap out of it!” Yes, I am imagining Life dressed as Cher slapping me. It could happen. Right after I wrote my last blog piece about the future, I got some strange news and I am unable to process it until I know more. That being said, I am putting things on hold. Maybe I shouldn’t. I don’t know. Sometimes, it is hard to know how to react, but I have the best support system in the world, and for that, I am grateful.
I still want to focus on the positive and have to constantly remind myself of that very fact. On the eve of back-to-school, my tiny one, who is tiny in size, but getting ready for 4th grade, is running around saying “I have 199 box tops and I need ONE more.” My oldest is getting ready for MIDDLE SCHOOL and I don’t even know how that happened. I am just trying to collect my thoughts. I know that tomorrow I will have to be Mrs. Happy no matter what happens. I have my own crew of tiny excited people to get through a day with. They all come in with their own luggage just as I do, and we all have to put that on the shelf to get through the day. Some people are better at it than others. Some like to go over to their luggage throughout the day and peek in the suitcase to make sure everything is still there. At times, something is taken out and carried around that needs to be back in that suitcase as it has no place in school. It is my job to get them focused on the tasks at hand, but I never forget that they all brought luggage in with them, and at the end of the day, I will help them carry it back home with them. Tomorrow, it might be less.
As I get ready for this day, I am reminded of Effie Trinket who smiles and says “And may the odds be ever in your favor!”
“Give thanks for what you are now, and keep fighting for what you want to be tomorrow.” ~Fernanda Miramontes-Landeros
Inspiration comes in many forms. It is not always easy to be the illuminating factor in your own mind. How do you motivate and inspire yourself? I get my inspiration from others around me. What do you do when others are LESS than inspiring? Hmm.
This actually happened to me recently and I did give it time. Surprisingly enough, Karma has been seen with her super-hero cape on recently. She is still my heroine. And let’s not forget this…although I know plenty of people who have:
What inspires me? Quotes. Yes, they do. One of the reasons I like to use quotes is to prove that you are not alone in your way of thinking. I can find the perfect quote that fits any situation because someone else has been in your shoes. I know that at times it seems impossible. I know that you think you are the only one who is ever going to understand what you are going through. But trust me, you are not alone. As a matter of fact, you might just be the source of inspiration for someone out there right now. And that my friends is tonight’s random topic. Go forth and inspire.
“To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to.” ~Kahlil Gibran
When we last left off with the puppy story, I could hardly contain my excitement. It was like waiting for a new baby to come home. On Friday night, we drove to the little town in North Carolina right across the state line where the breeder lived. There were about 11 dachshunds in her back yard having a great time barking at my family. Upon entering the “pup” area of the home, I looked down in her kennel and noticed a few things.
- The pups were much smaller than the photos led me to believe. Wow.
- There was so much cuteness in one area I wanted to pass out.
- I was in trouble. I wanted them all.
- I thought they were all sold, but as it turns out, they were not.
Okay, so the last one happened as we bent to pick up the little girl…the owner mentioned she was back on the market for sale as the deal had fallen through. My girls loved the boy and the girl. Of course, we were already in love with Jameson, the boy. But then we saw this:
Don’t be fooled by that look in her eye. She is the sweetest thing ever and she is smaller than my slipper. And no, I don’t have feet as big as that woman in the movie Deuce Bigalow. Anyway, an internal struggle was going on inside and I wanted to cry. How could I rip this little family apart? I couldn’t. I took one look at my husband’s face and he said get her. Quite simply, that man knows my heart. I melted. After 15 years, he can read me like a book.
Soooo, on the way home with not one, but two puppies, we discussed her new name. I like what the owner called her, but then, out of the mouths of babes came the most perfect name. Juliet, for my heart was hers, and parting would have been such sweet sorrow. I’ll hand you a tissue now…or a vomit bag. Whichever you prefer. Ha.
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”