Why You Aren’t Happy Right Now…and How to Change That!

One of the top questions I hear is “I am making improvements in my life, why am I not happy yet?”  I get asked this about many things, but in a nutshell, the answer is actually because you really haven’t thought about being happy.  Shock!  I have thought about it a hundred times…you think.  But it drifts off into the sea of other thoughts around what you need to make you happy.  If I only had…a bigger house.  If I only had…a relationship.  More money would really help make me happy.  You then carry on with your day and your thoughts about things that would make you happy.

Lots of people are looking for happiness in the wrong places.  Some people believe happiness comes when they get what they want.  Interesting.  What next?  Do we stay happy after getting what we want then?

Life is a series of complex decisions; however, what if it didn’t have to be.  What if you could declutter your life, get rid of things you don’t want and start over.  Interesting concept.  Downsize instead of supersize?  No way.  Hmm.  But what if?

Many people don’t believe happiness is a choice that only they can make.  I am going to provide you with some tips on how you can choose happiness over and over again, and maybe, just maybe, start to see that is not based off some magical formula, a fairy tale, or even a myth that has been handed down for generations.  Happiness is truly what you make of it.

How to Create Lasting Happiness Right Now:

    • Start a gratitude journal if you don’t already have one.  I know you guys have been watching my weekly talk about this on my fan page when I am Live, but have you started your journal with me?  I am not going to stop talking about it, because we focus so much on what’s wrong, we have forgotten our joys y’all.  I had to throw a y’all in there so you would know I am serious.  Just take a look at your feed.  Count the people who post their blessings…for REAL.  Umm hmm.  Not many, right? Anyway, my exact journal is posted above.  I love it!
    • Clear your space for happiness.  Do you get depressed in a dirty house?  An unmade bed?  Dirty sheets?  No nice smelly things like oils, etc.?  Start tidying up to make room for happiness.  Happiness can start with an intention.  We feel better now because we have done something.  It actually raises our vibration to walk into a nice, clean, insert favorite scent here, room.  I have a diffuser similar to this one to help me feel relaxed and at ease.
    • Work only on what you can change…about you.  So many times, I see people worrying about what others are doing on a daily basis.  The corrupt politicians, the boss, work issues, family who do x, y, z.  All these people have faults just like you.  We aren’t getting anywhere in this world by talking about what we don’t like.  Period.  It has not ever changed one thing in my life.  What has?  Focusing on what I can do to make things better.  Writing articles to help people.  Helping people take back their lives makes me happy.  No strings attached, just pure happiness.  As I work to promote the good I see, things inside of me change as well.  As I help others, I help myself.
    • Practice makes perfect-ish.  I wanted to use this old saying, but let you know that no one is actually perfect.  However, practicing gratitude and changing your focus over and over again can actually change your percentage of happiness.  No Way.  But yes way, because a fancy researcher said so.  According to Robert Emmons, PhD in his book, Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, those who regularly practice gratitude can enhance this set point by as much as 25%.  I don’t know him, but what a cute book.  I am actually reading a similar one…but it’s almost too behavioral study based and long-winded for me.
    • Use a wide viewpoint…and not just a narrow one.  If you consistently see your problems as the only ones, then that creates an ego-based viewpoint of the world.  Be aware of your circle of friends, and what the world is also going through.  Cultivate compassion for others and their needs…but not to the point of using your needs as a basis for inserting it into every conversation.  That still brings it down to a narrow viewpoint.  Social media has made it more “me based” instead of “us based”.  Don’t be that way with your friends.
    • Always keep trying.  Just because you have a set-back, or something sad happens, doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to feel it.  Of course you are.  But don’t stay in that place forever.  Keep on going.  Just like I said last week, you have the power to live any reality you want simply by shifting your thoughts to where you want to be. 

happiness_oneselfStill looking for more support?  Check out the tops tabs.  Work with me, or the Head|Heart|Health Club.

 

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The Secret to Success in Every Area of Your Life…

The Secret to Success in Life

Finding Success Took Me Years…Now You Can Benefit.

Two years ago, I was severely depressed from my illnesses.  I was in pain daily, overweight, and couldn’t find a doctor to help me…other than suggest prescriptions for life to manage my pain.  I knew that I didn’t want to do that, and February of 2014 was when I left the doctor’s office more depressed than ever as I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia…and no treatment.  None, but medicine.  Nothing to address my diet, my life, how I was going to live since I said no to this medicine that could cause more damage to my liver.

But after the sadness passed, I was determined to continue my research into helping myself, and others like me.

Today I want to share with you the one secret I discovered.

I discovered my mind played a key role in all areas of head, heart and health and I learned the secret of using my mind to become a success in every area of my life. Not just mentally, but physically and emotionally as well. It sounds so simple…but it took me almost 17 years to “wake up” and discover that the true hero of my life had to be me. The key to making this happen was getting mad, and forming a plan.

I lost over 25 pounds on my 5’2 inch frame, started moving more…and finally started feeling better. I had truly lost hope of ever feeling better before I mapped out the series of steps that was crucial in changing my life…and never would have imagined that I would make it through 200 hours of Vinyasa Yoga Teacher Training in 2015!!

Over the last year, many people in my life have seen this transformation, and have contacted my about my plan.  I do have a line of all-natural supplements that I prefer, but it was so much more than that.  With each step that I took towards wellness, each change that I made, I could feel my spirit lift.  I knew that I was on the right path.

I no longer let my thoughts of pain, depression, and hopelessness rule my life.  I took control back over my head, my heart and my health.

If you have tried everything, or at least you think you have, if you feel like you need a fresh outlook on your life, I am offering lifestyle tools for the first time online! <<< Clicking that link takes you to my new product portal. I have coached hundreds of people over the last year in my business, but decided to open it up to an online community.  Work with me to help change your life!   

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The 6 things you need to know today.

Every once in a while, we get in a “rut”.  We feel as if we are not going anywhere and that our situation will never change.  I’m here to tell you it can and it will.  Just by implementing a few strategies, your life can change drastically…for the better.  We are works in progress and our job here is not done…yet.

The 6 things you need to know today.

  1. Money will not make you happy.  Okay, I know you are thinking “I’d be really happy if I won the lottery!!”  I would be happy too, but I’m not going to arrange my life around money.  I’m going to arrange my life around my passion, and once I am doing something I love, the money will come.  It will.  I am actually doing what I love right now.
  2. Be you. The choices others make in no way shape or form define who you are.  So they think you are making a mistake doing x,y and z.  That’s on them, not you.  Be around people who lift you up not bring you down.  Be true to you.
  3. Live in the present.  If this was your only take-away from this post, I would be happy.  Put the damn phone DOWN.  Step away.  I know that I am working on this one too…so you can comment if you have solved this, but I love the post that is on Facebook about the group of people out to dinner and the phones are in the middle.  The first one to reach for their phone pays for the meal.  Ta-dah.  Being present and accountable!  It’s a win-win.  Even if the conversation around you is not something you can contribute to, being fully aware of the moment is important to us all. 
  4. Take risks.  Never apologize for taking a chance.  A risk.  For stepping out on that limb even if you hear a crack.  Because the bottom line is…you would have always wondered “what if” and now you don’t have to live with that.  There is a chance your choice could be just what you were looking for.  It might even be life-changing.
  5. Happiness depends on you.  There is no magical castle where they give out happiness wands just for visiting…or magic beans.  You have to work hard at deciding what you will let in and what you want to keep out.  For me, this is always a work in progress as I do pick up on the moods of others, but it’s my choice what I let in.  Mine and mine alone.  Choosing another way takes practice.  Focusing on the good I have in my life works wonders.
  6. Love.  You know, as a child, I don’t remember random people telling me that they loved me.  I don’t remember friends telling me that either…until I became an adult.  Why is it so hard to think in terms of love?  We are humans doing the best we can.  We make mistakes.  We fail.  We cry.  We hurt.  We get hurt by other people.  We are simply trying to navigate some pretty hard storms at times and it’s okay to say “I love you.  I made a mistake.  I am here for you.”  If you haven’t said this someone today, try it and see what happens.  P.S.  I love you for being here today and truly taking the time to read this.

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Happiness is…

Ahhh.  Cooler nights.  Chatting with friends outside.  Strange and funny topics.  Cider beverages for me.  Nice.  I was sitting here remembering a book I used to read as a child.  It was actually written by Charles Schultz.  Happiness is a Warm Puppy 

Love that man and his thoughts.  Happiness is a warm puppy to me, and I have three, so I am very happy.  Happiness is my daughters.  Happiness is my husband as we just celebrated our 15th anniversary and so many couples don’t make it that far.  Happiness is crisp nights, warm socks, snuggly blankets and a fire.  Happiness is coffee or tea.  Happiness is my herb garden and being outside.  Happiness is true, honest to goodness friends.  Happiness is whatever you make it.  I know I nag my husband, and I know my faults better than anyone, so I am going to reflect for 10 minutes everyday about the good things in life.  I appreciate this year to be who I really am and to be more involved in everyday activities.

“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier.  The way it actually works is the reverse.  You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.”  ~Margaret Young

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Motivational Monday…

Envy is what one has when someone lacks something that someone else has.  So I was too busy being envious of this guy’s great blog and book deal this morning to post anything.  I was too busy thinking how great it would be to run off to another country, with nothing, and start this business that flourished.  I was too busy being, wait, human.

Whew.  Glad that feeling passed.  I’m sure that even His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet has had envy.  Okay, maybe not, but he’s human too.  What we have to remember is that we can’t be too hard on ourselves when we have these “flare ups”.  We all have them.

Anger, pride, jealousy, and greed can get in the way of  your happiness.  You might think that in order to be happy you must have X amount of money.  You might think that in order to be happy you must have the perfect job and have the title of Ruler of All.  Whatever floats your boat.  The funny thing is, you will always want more.

On the outside, some people appear to have it all.  They shine and sparkle even when their smile doesn’t really reach their eyes.  Once they realize that they are in charge of their own happiness, you will notice the sparkle reaching their eyes as well.

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”  ~Dalai Lama

Motivational Monday…

Envy is what one has when someone lacks something that someone else has.  So I was too busy being envious of this guy’s great blog and book deal this morning to post anything.  I was too busy thinking how great it would be to run off to another country, with nothing, and start this business that flourished.  I was too busy being, wait, human.

Whew.  Glad that feeling passed.  I’m sure that even His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet has had envy.  Okay, maybe not, but he’s human too.  What we have to remember is that we can’t be too hard on ourselves when we have these “flare ups”.  We all have them.

Anger, pride, jealousy, and greed can get in the way of  your happiness.  You might think that in order to be happy you must have X amount of money.  You might think that in order to be happy you must have the perfect job and have the title of Ruler of All.  Whatever floats your boat.  The funny thing is, you will always want more.

On the outside, some people appear to have it all.  They shine and sparkle even when their smile doesn’t really reach their eyes.  Once they realize that they are in charge of their own happiness, you will notice the sparkle reaching their eyes as well.

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”  ~Dalai Lama

Motivational Monday…

This is the best advice I can give anyone today:

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”
~Mother Teresa

Happy Mother’s Day…

A small collection of quotes on being a mother.

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.  ~Tenneva Jordan

A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.  ~Peter De Vries

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.  ~Honoré de Balzac

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.  A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.  ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

All mothers are working mothers. ~Author Unknown

A mom’s hug lasts long after she lets go.  ~Author Unknown

Lastly, two of my favorites:

A little girl, asked where her home was, replied, “where mother is.”  ~Keith L. Brooks

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The Compassion Project…

The other night I was half falling asleep looking at the digital photo frame and a photo of my dog Noel went by.  Some of you remember what happened to her, and the decision I had to make.  It still makes me sad beyond words.  The kind of sadness that can’t be cured…it can only be masked until you remember it again.  I know I did what was right for her and only I could make that decision.  My two new fur babies have brought me great joy, but I still carry around some guilt over the loss of my old dog, and probably always will (yes, I know…say no to guilt).

I remembered a post I made last year that inspired a friend to do something wonderful and I decided I needed to do that again.  So this month, I am focusing on finding at least one story a week that shows how one person has helped relieve the suffering of another person by showing compassion.  There are many ways to do this, so if you know of a story, please feel free to comment.  I am going to start with one most of you might have already heard about.  Yes, the Mysterious “Secret Santa”.  The story is wonderful and brings tears to my eyes every time I read it.

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This post is dedicated to Noel.  Thanks for always cheering me up.  Now it’s my turn to do that for others.


If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lama

May the odds be ever in your favor…

Life has a way of slapping you in the face and telling you to wake up.  Just when you get comfortable with things, just when you let your guard down, Life says “Snap out of it!” Yes, I am imagining Life dressed as Cher slapping me.  It could happen.  Right after I wrote my last blog piece about the future, I got some strange news and I am unable to process it until I know more.  That being said, I am putting things on hold.  Maybe I shouldn’t.  I don’t know.  Sometimes, it is hard to know how to react, but I have the best support system in the world, and for that, I am grateful.

I still want to focus on the positive and have to constantly remind myself of that very fact.  On the eve of back-to-school, my tiny one, who is tiny in size, but getting ready for 4th grade, is running around saying “I have 199 box tops and I need ONE more.”  My oldest is getting ready for MIDDLE SCHOOL and I don’t even know how that happened.  I am just trying to collect my thoughts.  I know that tomorrow I will have to be Mrs. Happy no matter what happens.  I have my own crew of tiny excited people to get through a day with.  They all come in with their own luggage just as I do, and we all have to put that on the shelf to get through the day.  Some people are better at it than others.  Some like to go over to their luggage throughout the day and peek in the suitcase to make sure everything is still there.  At times, something is taken out and carried around that needs to be back in that suitcase as it has no place in school.  It is my job to get them focused on the tasks at hand, but I never forget that they all brought luggage in with them, and at the end of the day, I will help them carry it back home with them.  Tomorrow, it might be less.

As I get ready for this day, I am reminded of Effie Trinket who smiles and says “And may the odds be ever in your favor!”

“Give thanks for what you are now, and keep fighting for what you want to be tomorrow.” ~Fernanda Miramontes-Landeros