Like a battery, you feel completely drained. Depending on what’s going on around you, you feel like you haven’t the energy you once possessed. Could you be getting sick? It’s possible. But I want you to take a look at a few things first.
Have you ever noticed that being in the presence of someone truly and miraculously seems to lift you up? After spending time with that person, you come home humming, or want to do things you might normally not even think about doing? Just think for a moment if there is such a person like this who is your lift force. I have spoken about this before during my talks and written about it before, but if you have your journal, you can even take a page and think for a moment about all the supportive people you have around you.
Likewise, we are now going to draw our attention to something that energetically feels so draining that we can’t wait to escape their presence. The drag force. When I speak of this during my talks, I actually have to roll my shoulders as my back gets tight.
There was once a time I felt well, except that I constantly felt drained by someone’s presence. I would go to work happy and content, and then this person would tell me every one of her problems…repeatedly. There was never a solution that worked or a way out…or so it seemed. How did I find a way out of the draining cycle?
5 Ways to Strengthen Your Energy:
- It sounds like a cliché, I know, but your vibe really does attract your tribe. Yogananda called this phenomenon “the law of invisible vibratory exchange.” It is vitally important that you understand this principle to be true as you start building up your “lift force” around you. Make your list in your private journal of who really lifts you up. Once you become aware of the energy, you can start to see a pattern where you have dips or energy loss after being near someone who is more of a drag force, or negative influence on you. ** See the note at the end!
- It is important that if you have to come in contact with a negative force, you get grounded before and after the visit. As you center your thoughts, you can imagine being protected as you come in contact with that person. Read more on the above link as well, but make sure that you keep your contact to as short a time as possible. What happens if you live with a negative force? Enroll in yoga, meditation, or a group activity where the people around you have a like-minded goal. There is more under my Head|Heart|Health tab for an online community as well where keeping our heads clear and our hearts on how we want to feel is the end goal to overall wellness.
- Listen to music that moves your soul and uplifts your heart. On one of my other talks, I showed the difference between me normally when I come on the FB Live show, and me after listening to the Bee Gees. <<< yes. I love to sing with them. But seriously, think about the song “Good Vibrations” by the Beach Boys. Ever thought about it? It really does raise your vibration with the right tune.
- Be conscious of what you put in your body. During my 4 Weeks to Wellness class, I talk about nutrition and the effects of sugar on the body. I know people are going to be coming after me when I take away their sweets, but that’s why I train you to look for the hidden ingredients and do it for yourself. This has to be done on your own time and it has to be something you want in order to move forward and feel better.
- Know how you want to feel. Again, this one might sound simple, but do you know how you want to feel each day? What are your weekly goals and how are you working to create a life that is working FOR you…not against you. With a few small tweaks to your everyday routine, you can learn to block the energy of others by focusing more on what you want each day. Getting clear on your thoughts before coming in contact with someone who might try to dis-rail your progress is imperative in strengthening your energy.
Do you need more uplifting folks in your life? Come find us at any time! >>> I need to raise my energy! <<<
One of the top questions I hear is “I am making improvements in my life, why am I not happy yet?” I get asked this about many things, but in a nutshell, the answer is actually because you really haven’t thought about being happy. Shock! I have thought about it a hundred times…you think. But it drifts off into the sea of other thoughts around what you need to make you happy. If I only had…a bigger house. If I only had…a relationship. More money would really help make me happy. You then carry on with your day and your thoughts about things that would make you happy.
Lots of people are looking for happiness in the wrong places. Some people believe happiness comes when they get what they want. Interesting. What next? Do we stay happy after getting what we want then?
Life is a series of complex decisions; however, what if it didn’t have to be. What if you could declutter your life, get rid of things you don’t want and start over. Interesting concept. Downsize instead of supersize? No way. Hmm. But what if?
Many people don’t believe happiness is a choice that only they can make. I am going to provide you with some tips on how you can choose happiness over and over again, and maybe, just maybe, start to see that is not based off some magical formula, a fairy tale, or even a myth that has been handed down for generations. Happiness is truly what you make of it.
How to Create Lasting Happiness Right Now:
- Start a gratitude journal if you don’t already have one. I know you guys have been watching my weekly talk about this on my fan page when I am Live, but have you started your journal with me? I am not going to stop talking about it, because we focus so much on what’s wrong, we have forgotten our joys y’all. I had to throw a y’all in there so you would know I am serious. Just take a look at your feed. Count the people who post their blessings…for REAL. Umm hmm. Not many, right? Anyway, my exact journal is posted above. I love it!
- Clear your space for happiness. Do you get depressed in a dirty house? An unmade bed? Dirty sheets? No nice smelly things like oils, etc.? Start tidying up to make room for happiness. Happiness can start with an intention. We feel better now because we have done something. It actually raises our vibration to walk into a nice, clean, insert favorite scent here, room. I have a diffuser similar to this one to help me feel relaxed and at ease.
- Work only on what you can change…about you. So many times, I see people worrying about what others are doing on a daily basis. The corrupt politicians, the boss, work issues, family who do x, y, z. All these people have faults just like you. We aren’t getting anywhere in this world by talking about what we don’t like. Period. It has not ever changed one thing in my life. What has? Focusing on what I can do to make things better. Writing articles to help people. Helping people take back their lives makes me happy. No strings attached, just pure happiness. As I work to promote the good I see, things inside of me change as well. As I help others, I help myself.
- Practice makes perfect-ish. I wanted to use this old saying, but let you know that no one is actually perfect. However, practicing gratitude and changing your focus over and over again can actually change your percentage of happiness. No Way. But yes way, because a fancy researcher said so. According to Robert Emmons, PhD in his book, Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, those who regularly practice gratitude can enhance this set point by as much as 25%. I don’t know him, but what a cute book. I am actually reading a similar one…but it’s almost too behavioral study based and long-winded for me.
- Use a wide viewpoint…and not just a narrow one. If you consistently see your problems as the only ones, then that creates an ego-based viewpoint of the world. Be aware of your circle of friends, and what the world is also going through. Cultivate compassion for others and their needs…but not to the point of using your needs as a basis for inserting it into every conversation. That still brings it down to a narrow viewpoint. Social media has made it more “me based” instead of “us based”. Don’t be that way with your friends.
- Always keep trying. Just because you have a set-back, or something sad happens, doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to feel it. Of course you are. But don’t stay in that place forever. Keep on going. Just like I said last week, you have the power to live any reality you want simply by shifting your thoughts to where you want to be.
Still looking for more support? Check out the tops tabs. Work with me, or the Head|Heart|Health Club.
There are times in your life when you need to just breathe…or scream. Screaming is not appropriate at work though, so we need to find other ways to manage our stress. This is always easier said than done. We worry, fret, and work ourselves into a tizzy over something that might happen. We ponder, speculate, and look for hidden meanings in the words of everyone around us. Life would be much easier if people just said what they meant…well, maybe. I know I work better that way, but perhaps not everyone does. In the meantime, we need to work with what we are given. This applies to all aspects of life, not just work.
5 ways to find your zen:
- Focus on the task at hand. I realize this is easier said than done, but if you really work to train your mind on the task at hand, we can get into our flow. We actually can shift the way we think and remove the obstacles we place in our minds. We are moving away from distractions and really focusing on what’s in front of us.
- All in. Are you all in or only sort of here? Be present. In order to be in the present moment, you have to really pull your thoughts back. Think of your thoughts moving continuously like a river. That is the basis of flow. The ego falls away and you are in the moment. It is almost like timelessness. The end of the day comes and you got so much done that you didn’t even realize you were in flow. That’s how I feel in yoga. I am in my flow. Flow experiences can occur in different way for different people, but we have strong concentration during the task.
- Rest. Sometimes, you need a break after a long stretch of working on things. This is something I have a problem with and I am learning to let go. After being in my flow, I know that if I stop, it takes me longer to recover than most people. I learned I need to set a timer since I work from home. In an office setting, you can get up and stretch your legs. Get a coffee. At home, I tend to just get back to work. It’s very important to remember everyone needs a break too…even if you are the boss.
- Simplify your workspace. Do you every find yourself looking for things and they were under piles of paper? Do you not know important dates because you have a calendar system that’s messy and difficult? Work to simplify things. Don’t over book yourself. Keep meetings to the point. Keep your desk neat and tidy. Work on diving up your task into smaller, easier to handle chunks. If you work from home, do the same thing. Keep an orderly space. It helps clear the mind.
- Let go of that which does not serve you. This is my favorite one. Gossip? Does not serve you in any way shape or form. Let it go. Truthfulness? Yes. It serves to make your life easier. Weigh your responses before answering. Jealousy over what others have? Does not serve you again. Gratitude for what you have serves you much better and brings about more happiness. Too many possessions? Clutter? Thank the items and give them to someone who needs them. This is way we create space for things we need to come into our lives. Remember, if it doesn’t do you any good, you don’t need to focus on it in your life. Period.
My good friend said to me “What other people think of me is none of my business.” I loved that line and made her repeat it. I instantly thought of ways to apply that to my life. The next time someone says something snippy to me, I will breathe in and out and maybe even make the “ohmmm” sound in my mind as they are speaking. Knowing me, I might even say it out loud until it annoys them. Zen is the practice of “not doing”. You are not reacting to things around you when the world might be in chaos. You need to still the thoughts that are going on in your head and think about the bigger picture.
“Life is short. Time is fleeting. Realize the self. Purity of heart is the gateway to God. Aspire. Renounce. Meditate. Be good; do good. Be kind; be compassionate. Inquire, know Thyself.”
Things you should do more of this year…as the word resolution has never sat well with me.
- Tell someone you love them everyday.
- Laugh daily.
- Make eye contact with a stranger and smile.
- Say thank you and mean it.
- Appreciate the good in your life.
- Start each day on your terms. Decide what the day is going to be like.
- Trust yourself more.
- If the choice is anger or kindness…count down in your head. You’ll make a better choice.
- No self-pity. That’s right. If for one second you start, re-direct your thoughts to the gifts you possess (p.s. harder to do).
- Choose friends who love and approve of you…not bring out the negative.
Some of these might be hard for you to do; however, you can and you must refocus your thoughts this year. It is not time to dwell on what went wrong. What happened is over. Let it be.
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Isn’t it funny how people get mad at you about YOUR opinions? Think about it. Even though I love my husband, while I was trying to type these very words, he just tried to argue his point of view against mine. GRRR. Stubborn, hard-headed folks occasionally get on my nerves. Yes, probably because I can be that way right back at them. Now, with people I don’t know, unless it threatens someone else, I usually walk away. If it involves something I really believe in, I will stand my ground. What I have learned is that I usually stand alone. With rare exceptions, including people who want to change the way things are, people around me have been unwilling to put themselves out there for what they believe in.
I am in no way comparing myself to great leaders and inspirational people, but they usually start alone too. I think that’s one reason I love hearing their words. It might have been 100 years ago, 50, or 20 but their words still ring true. So the advice I have been giving myself lately is to walk away from negativity. To live in the present moment, and forget the worry of past events. If someone said something hurtful 10 years ago and you are still letting it bother you today, they have won. If you can let go, your spirit wins. Work towards being the kind of person you would want to take advice from. Those negative souls will continue to turn into bitter people. I don’t know a single person who benefits from having that around them.
“You should respect each other and refrain from disputes; you should not, like water and oil, repel each other, but should, like milk and water, mingle together.” ~Buddha
Remember when your mom used to say things like “A job worth doing is worth doing right the first time.”? Well, what if you didn’t do it right the first time, then what happens? Did you learn something new? I hope so. I feel like that is the story of my life. There is no rewind button, so I just keep pressing forward.
I have a confession to make. I worry. I am a worrier. I worry about almost everything. It gets me absolutely nowhere. That’s why a little over 5 years ago I began slowly trying to change my thoughts. I try to focus on the good that can come out of a situation, but sometimes I fail. The good news is that I am still learning. I am still evolving. I am still here.
So, for the next 21 days, I am focusing on the “good thoughts=good actions” project. I just made this up, so you are welcome to join (starting today). I have some new friends on my Facebook page and they have been wonderfully positive influences, and I so needed that. Each day, I want you to keep a journal, or set reminders on your phone, whatever floats your boat, to set aside 15 minutes and do something good, for yourself. It can be deep breathing and thinking good thoughts. This one requires you to push the negative thoughts out of your head when they arrive. You can wake up 15 minutes earlier and do some stretches. It can be 15 minutes of gardening. Whatever you want to do, but each day set that time aside and think no harmful thoughts.
Trust me when I say I know how hard it is. Motivate your self to think positive thoughts daily, even if it is just for 15 minutes at a time. After 21 days, a new habit will be formed. A positive one. Try it and see:)
“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is the best advice I can give anyone today:
“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”
I’m going to be honest, there are times these posts are difficult to write. I look around, and I see poverty. I see hate. I see failure. I see mankind struggling. However, I am reminded of a book I used to read as a child. It can be heard here:
I also listened to the lyrics by John Denver as can be read here. My daughter said “Who is John Denver?” and I let out a sigh. I like the part in his song that said “Just think you can, just think you can. Just have that UNDERSTOOD. And very soon, you’ll start to say I always knew I could.” It occurred to me that the part I am struggling with is the understanding. If I take that out of the equation and move to acceptance, this is the way it is going to be, so I might as well have that UNDERSTOOD, I can achieve the end result faster. I am the only one who can change my thoughts. Are you waiting for someone else to come along and push you up that hill? If so, you might be waiting a long time. Most people are so bogged down by their own problems that they fail to see when you need a push even if you have told them, are holding a sign, or have it engraved on a plaque. Don’t wait for them to help you. Change your thoughts now. I think I can.
“Someone was hurt before you, wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, beaten before you, humiliated before you, raped before you… yet, someone survived… You can do anything you choose to do.” ~Maya Angelou
I’m not there yet. You know how your phone tells you what percentage of “charged” it is? Well, I’m not done charging yet. In fact, I need a longer break and I know it. Unfortunately, there is this tiny little thing standing in my way. Money. Sigh. If only I didn’t have bills. Moving on.
Several thoughts have been on my mind lately. In the forefront is why do bad things happen to good people? Right before Christmas, a neighbor one street over had a kitchen fire that put them out of their house for 6 months. They were able to get their belongings, so that was good, and it could have been worse, so I am focusing on that for them. My friend told me her car was broken into, which was bad, but then she told me about a neighbor a few streets over that had everything taken including Christmas presents and vehicles. That was bad. Worse was the device they used to help their child cope with her special needs was taken. That made me really mad.
To balance all of this out, I got Christmas carolers at my house for the first time in years. A friend posted something about people doing good deeds that made me smile. I have great neighbors who leave me nice little cards and ask my children to come play at their house. I have seen the good in the world and I know it is there I just have to look harder if I want to find it and if I can’t find it, I have to make it myself. So that is why I say I am not done charging yet. I need to get back to 100% and I need more time. So, in looking for quotes, I found one to end with that was attributed to two different Native American tribes, and then to a woman. I will let you read the whole thing here.
“Hold on to what is good, even if it’s a handful of earth.” ~Pueblo prayer