The other night I was staring at the clock. 11p.m. (that is an early bedtime to be honest). Midnight (the cool ideas start coming in and I have to either write them, or sleep). Then the minutes slowly clicked by for what seemed like an eternity. I started saying things to myself like, “If I fall asleep now, I can get like 4 hours of sleep”, and later I thought about giving up and going to write.
Can you take a guess as to what was keeping me up? I bet you can. The old “What the hell am I doing with my life”? Thought came up out of nowhere. Well, seemingly nowhere. You see, I turned another year older and I bet I am not the only one who occasionally has these thoughts.
I started to make a mental list…a sort of mid-life crisis checklist if you will. Here is what went on it.
- What do I love, like absolutely love, about where I am now? I want you to list in your journal or on your planner, somewhere by hand, what it is you love about your life and/or job right this moment. If nothing changed, what is the best thing about your life, job and where you are?
- What would I change about where I am right now? Usually this one is a whole lot easier, right? We have lists that have lists and sections, and letters and points from A to Z on this. But narrow it down to your top 3 things if you can here.
- Where would I go if I had the means, the freedom, and no one to judge me? This is kind of like your bucket list perhaps. I started thinking about travel here, and retreats that I would like to go on. You can list anything you want here. Including new jobs or new places to live.
- If someone had to say what I am passionate about, could they? This one is huge. If something happened to you, or if someone had to narrow down what you would fight for or what really makes you alive, could someone say that about you because it is so evident? Here is where I said yes. Yes. I am doing the things I am passionate about and people could say what they are.
- Where does the doubt come from and what triggers it? I already knew the answer to this one for myself, but do you? I encourage you to think about your triggers, what stays in your mind all night and what you think about. If you have a hard time with this, try my S.O.S. video tips << from the other day. << Ignore the beginning where I talk about the internet to myself. haha.
In the end, this checklist answered my own doubts and I knew what was the next step for me after thinking about this half the night. I know that I love, more than anything, my readers. I don’t get to connect to as many on some platforms, but I do get to connect to my Head|Heart|Health Club << and that is where I am making the biggest difference. I am seeing the changes in the energy of the Club members, seeing how different they react to what is going on in their lives, and how connecting with their inner most thoughts through a combination of journal therapy, mindfulness and centering through basic yoga poses is working for them. This is what I am most passionate about... Helping others recover from poor lifestyle choices and learning that there is a new treatment plan that doesn’t merely ignore your emotional body, but really addresses those needs as well.
Hey y’all! Guess what? People seem to like me!! I have friends:) So this weekend was a certain erm birthday. My husband isn’t known for planning things. That isn’t his fault necessarily…it’s just the way things are. However, in my family, birthdays have always been a big deal. So my mom planned to take me shopping…and everyone came along. The kids, my dad and good ole’ hubby.
We went to the outlets…but it was like they were giving away free puppies or something. So it wasn’t really a good idea. I did enjoy myself in one store, but after that, I was like, oh yeah, this is why I do not shop. I don’t. I can’t stand the commercialization of things. Lines out the door just to get $5 off or whatever. Maybe you all like it, but meh. I don’t.
So anyway, it was all they could do to keep me out to a certain time. But when we finished dinner, I told them I was coming home to put on my special comfy jammies…I bought myself for my birthday. Shh. I did. I bought erm these like snuggie, zip up long john things. Hahahaha. But seriously. I did.
But surprise!! People were coming over to my house…and some were already in my house. And it was wonderful because they had food and things. Ok, they had wine. But the food was gluten-free and that was oh so thoughtful that they went to that kind of trouble for little ole me. But I had to stay in real clothes…but that was ok. We had a fire pit and we talked. I miss talking to people. I did pick up my phone to snap a few photos, but really almost forgot to do that. So I appreciate the party because it was about being real again. Talking and being in the moment. The one that is right now. Now tomorrow, or a few days from now, or I have to do x,y,z because x, y, z will be there. Please connect in the here and now with your peeps. They will be ever so thankful and appreciative…and grateful.
And they will be really HAPPY.
Things you want to do but shouldn’t in this economy.
- Fly to Las Vegas. Win at Keno. Suddenly think you are on fire and when approached by someone telling you that you could win $200 just for checking something out, you go. You come back in a limo with a timeshare…drinking champagne with a whole $200 more (when in fact, you are really out $17,000).
- Your friend, now your frenemy, signs you up for a Rainbow Vacuum cleaner demo. Your husband thinks it is the most awesome thing ever and promises you for the rest of your marriage, he will vacuum if you buy this robotic looking dealio that can suck dust out of the air, and basically pays for itself at $1,300 or something like that. You say okay (you probably break even as he does really vacuum because the damn thing is so heavy you can’t lift it up stairs).
- Years later, decide that the first timeshare wasn’t in the best location for family. You visit a touristy area, and they want you to look at their property. You come back with another timeshare because they convince you that this one is better and you can sell the first one. Now you are really dumb. And broke. Broke and dumb are bad. Don’t do it. Timeshares are the devil. Mama would tell you that.
- Trade in your perfectly nice car for a used car. Just because you can’t fit 2 carseats and a third person in the back. They can walk. Walking is good for them. You liked your SUV. Now you drive a mini-van. Sigh.
- Start to buy a bigger house, realize it is a dumb move, and that maybe now is not the best time to buy. Narrowly avoid making another mistake. Whew. That was close.
- Become a wine club member. Not that you don’t mind drinking the wine, but you realize that for the travel, gas money and cost, you could buy 5 more bottles. More wine equals winning.
- Say “F” it and get a new job. Not really a good idea right now as there are no new jobs. It wouldn’t be prudent to do this right now. Find a millionaire to support your dream. Good luck.
- Take all the money you were planning to save and go on your dream vacation. You can’t take it with you, right? I know there are websites with 137 ways to eat Ramen. See for yourself.
- Buy a new car because you are tired of the mini-van now. It is paid for. Drive that bad-boy into the ground. So what if you don’t have the money to fix the rear entertainment center? They can watch that one DVD that has been stuck in there for a year and they can like it. Hmpf.
- Get an estimate for a sun-room. Let’s face it, you are never going to sell this house. Might as well do what you want to it. The kids can get scholarships to college, right?
“Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.” ~Elbert Hubbard
My wish today was selfish. First, I had to listen to a song I knew was going to make me cry. I wrote about it in my post Moving forward, and it made me cry then too. My daughter “graduated” from elementary school and is moving to middle school next year. She accomplished amazing things this year. I don’t want to sound like the bragging mom, but she has a sense of responsibility that I never had at that age. I don’t want her to change. Ever. So my wish today was for her to remain the same. Here is the video that made me cry…now you can cry too. Seriously. Grab a tissue. Like now:
I love these teachers. What we do makes a difference. It does matter. They will remember. She will go confidently in the direction of her dreams and her foundation is strong. To all the other newly minted middle school parents out there, hang in there. I’ll be here with the tissues if you need me.
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who’ll decide where to go.” ~Dr. Seuss