At some point in your life, your head and your heart simply do not agree. Your head is over here being all practical…and your heart, well, it wants to quit work, become an entrepreneur, and live a glorious life. Wait, I did that actually.
So the process was scary as hell, and if you are new to my blog, you know that I did it to save my life. << Read later if you are new. The hours spent in agony at making a decision all boiled down to one thing…money actually.
What would be the best for me physically at the time was not going to pay the bills; however, after a particularly bad spell which lasted 3 weeks, my husband said the words that finally broke through to my head as well. The job was not worth sacrificing my health.
Alrighty then. A weight had been lifted. The fear was gone and a plan was made. The connection between my heart and my head was now on the same path, and I had one goal that lined up to who and what I was supposed to be.
The paralyzing indecision was gone. We would make this work. I sure wish I hadn’t wasted lots of energy when my decision was split, but I truly wasn’t listening to my heart. My head kept getting in the way. Luckily for me, I learned a great deal about myself during the process of leaving work, going on a sabbatical to heal, and then building my business around my dreams of helping others.
What about you? How balanced do you feel lately?
In my Head|Heart|Health Club, I teach journal therapy, ways to connect to your inner most desires, and how to enjoy a complete lifestyle change. Indecision leaves you feeling powerless. It truly drains you of energy. Feel free to connect with me through my online portal as I would love to have more like-minded people working towards the same goal.
Each night, I go through my rituals of thinking about the life I want. It didn’t used to be that way though. Before my epiphany, I went to bed thinking about what I didn’t want in my life. The funny thing is, that never got me anywhere. I was miserable in my job, my health was failing as you know, and I couldn’t see through the red haze of pain. I started clearing away everything, and I do mean everything, that was making me miserable.
My soul couldn’t speak in words, but it sure was telling me that I was living my life wrong. It was showing me through my pain that there was more out there, as well as my intuition that kept saying I could improve my entire well-being using my head-heart-health plan that I had started developing for myself. I was on the right path and each time I would veer away, something would catch my eye and I would continue my research into holistic health and wellness. When I was finally ready, I launched the 4 Weeks to Wellness plan in a small group for my friends and ultimately decided to open it to the public.
5 Signs Your Soul is Trying to Guide You:
- My intuition was going crazy and my empath skills were working overtime. I was getting real-life friends messaging me all the time asking me to help them with something new that the doctor told them they had, and after talking to me they felt better. I couldn’t sleep without answering their messages and once I did, I knew instinctively that I had put them on the right path.
- I spent lots of time thinking I was almost onto something big…I could just feel it. But I had to make space for the messages to appear. I had spent a lifetime of over-thinking and needed to re-wire my entire brain. I started slowly and methodically re-centering my thoughts when they went away from my purpose. I did this by eating right, moving, balancing my schedule, and creating self-care routines that were so necessary I started telling others about what I was doing.
- I noticed I was unhappy when I did things that did not feel authentic. Let me un-jargon this for you. There were people in a group who wanted me to sell, sell, sell. Get customers of my all-natural products a certain way; however, it felt “icky” for lack of a better word. I really like using kid terms as I was a teacher and they feel really pure to me. Kids create and do what makes them happy. They make their drawings never looking over to the other kid beside them going wow, his is better than mine. I should have added more blue here or more this or more that. No, they are like wow!!! That is really pretty. I like that. They feel happy with what they create. It is only later when start to compare ourselves to others. <<<< I dislike this to the highest degree. So I didn’t want to be like everyone else. I wanted to do what felt right to me. Basic-level happiness goals.
- Answer this question with the first thing that pops into your head: What do you want? If I was doing things that I didn’t want, I started to feel off course again. Anxious, and not all present. It was a clue that I needed to realign myself with all the methods I taught myself worked for me. Am I just going through the motions on this? Is this a path I want to go down or did I say yes because I was afraid to say no or afraid to miss out on something? I had to stop and listen to my gut feeling about the situation. Was this a hell yes feeling or a meh okay? If it was not what I wanted, why did I put it on my plate to begin with??? I needed to cut that out.
- How do you feel when you get out of bed in the morning? What is the first thing that pops into your mind when you think about work, or doing whatever you have planned for the day? <<< note, HUGE flashing sign there. I knew that I only had a short time here on this earth and I was wasting away because I thought I HAD to finish the job I went to college for. I had to do what my parents thought, or my friends thought, or my colleagues thought was best for my future. I had been programmed to think that way. I had been programmed to think it was selfish to want to leave a perfectly good job when other people were looking for jobs. How many times have I heard that one?
My soul was telling me each and every day that I was meant to help larger groups of people. I lost all sense of time writing and teaching yoga. I lost all sense of time helping other people on the path to wellness. I felt such great joy at seeing my friend do a certain yoga pose for the first time or create her journal based off our talks. When she showed me a particularly private page in her journal, it was an extremely vulnerable talk that we had, but I felt so proud of the things she had written. She was not in the same place a year prior to that. When my newly divorced girlfriend said she turned a corner and started feeling better after her journaling, I knew that my questions were leading these women to really cool places. They were digging deep into what their souls wanted as well and we were uncovering layer after layer of programming. Getting back to the core of who they were.
The last thing that really made me feel great about this path was when a friend said they wanted to cart me around with them to help deal with the anxiety and lead the journal questions in their mind on why they were reacting certain ways. So I say again to you my friends, you really know what you have to do if you have read this article and thought of many answers to the questions your soul might be asking. It’s time to start listening.
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People always told me, “Don’t quit your day job”. No matter how many times I said, this is not what I went to school for. I didn’t think it was going to be like this…I am miserable and the stress makes me ill (side note, it literally did make me ill, but probably the black mold and asbestos tiles didn’t help either). I was a classroom teacher who only ever dreamed of being a writer.
I actually loved the thought of teaching without strings attached and the children if that makes sense…I did not love lots of other things. So I started thinking to myself, if people don’t 100% love what they are doing every single day, then why not dream bigger?
So what happened when I finally decided to leave teaching and started secretly planning my escape?
3 Dream Killers…and how to handle them:
- Everyone will give you constructive criticism, but it’s not really constructive. It’s what they would do. People talk from their place of fear. I did not have another job lined up. Had no idea how I was going to make it if we dropped my salary. I did not have a large savings. There was no safety net. I am a kind of jump person think later…soooo. I get told how others would have done x,y,z. The only thing that mattered to me was am I currently happy in my job? No. That was all I needed to know. So people tried to break down my dream, or give me safety net options…like just take leave for a while. So I told people that’s what I was doing finally. But I honestly was not coming back because I believed that strongly in my dream.
- Losing friends, status, or ending up an outcast. I didn’t worry so much about this the first year, because they all thought I might be taking a year off on one of those awesome things called a “sabbatical”. If you tell people using special jargon, they are okay with it for some reason. Ohh, hmm. Okay, it’s a sabbatical. However, eventually people started saying things like “Are you ever coming back?” or “Are you really making money?” See, I had been teaching long enough to get a pin for being there a while, and then I left. I sacrificed the next level of pin. I was totally okay with this. We sacrificed a few things that were wants not needs at home. My family was okay with this. And if I lost friends because of this, then they really weren’t my friends to begin with and I was equally okay with this as well. I made new friends and forged new relationships in this new world of writing.
- Fear of failure, being laughed at or making mistakes. I left 3 years ago, and the first year was the most exciting; however, it was also the year I had to remember to calm down and not go overboard with trying to fit everything I wanted to accomplish in 1 year. Overnight success might seem like a thing, but I knew it was not the case. I had to get more established and build trust. I wasn’t going to find the next viral blog post in a year. Or year two either…it took year three, but I was learning and I was growing. I was teaching myself how to think like a business woman and to stop treating my dream like a hobby. There was no other option in my mind by this point except to succeed at what I was doing.
What helped me turn the dream into a reality?
It was not a hobby. It was a job. I finally learned that lesson and took back my old office instead of writing on the sofa with my laptop. I set up appointments, collaborations, and meetings internationally on Skype. I said yes to things that scared the hell out of me…like meeting some of my new friends face-to-face overseas by accepting the offer of speaking internationally. I created workshops with my local friend who really treated her business like a business, and I was grateful to be able to watch her say yes only to things that would propel her in the direction she wanted to go (P.S. she made the free meditation for you guys on my newsletter). I read books from women I admired who did scary things…like Danielle LaPorte, and I breathed in her style.
I did not create the safety net for myself because I didn’t want to fall back on it. I wanted to keep going and try new paths should the one I was on not work out. Some way, some how, I was going to make this new business work. I could actually be a writer, yoga teacher, wellness advocate, entrepreneur mom and follow my heart. Start thinking of your dream daily and journal how it would feel to make it a reality.
Did you know that we experience more inner confidence when we are aligned with our life’s purpose? Individuals who feed their soul exude a kind of self-confidence that is not seen in other people. These individuals know who they are (Finally!) and aren’t afraid to speak their truth…even if it means others won’t necessarily agree with them.
Connecting to what your heart wants is very important in growing as a person. Have you ever heard someone advise you to “Just follow your heart”? Well that’s because doing what you love means listing to that inner guide. That still voice inside you that some refer to as intuition. When you take action driven by what you love, you learn to follow your passion without fear. We learn to shift from the ego to the heart and it’s a beautiful thing.
3 Steps to Boost Your Heart
- Identify your passion. What is it that lights you up from the inside out? What topic is it that if someone were to ask you to speak about it in front of a whole room, you know without a doubt you would feel confident because of how passionate you are about the subject? I already know the answer to this. I am passionate about helping other people. I know that without a doubt, and therefore, it is what appealed to me about my all-natural approach to healing and what continued to move me forward into my yoga practice.
- Love yourself. This one is harder. So in order to do this one justice, we do a little exercise in my Boost Your Heart program called leaving love notes to yourself. It’s a journaling exercise and it really is important. Notice qualities within yourself that help you to find meaning, pleasure and satisfaction. Allow yourself permission to write down what is your true heart’s desire. Sometimes, following your heart often requires you to take a detour from the path others thought you should take. It can be a long and lonely road initially…but not when you have someone to talk to about your feelings. It’s important to know that you have worth and are important even if you aren’t doing what others expected you to do. Trust the journey.
- Be authentic. Have you ever done something that just doesn’t feel like you? Maybe you weren’t available emotionally or mentally because you were trying to fit into a certain crowd. You might have left a situation feeling drained actually because you were trying to keep up this appearance. If you are tuned into how you feel now, and what you really and truly want, it changes the way you interact with people. We must be willing to look at our lives with honesty and true reflection. We must be willing to truly evaluate the parts of it that no longer serve our needs.
Are you truly following your heart?
I have worked with people who have these amazing dreams and desires, but for whatever reason, they ignore them because they think that they are unreachable. Some women would prefer to pretend to be happy and sacrifice their true happiness but justifying that their inner dreams are not really that important anyway. They have to be a mom, a wife, a teacher, a whatever and can’t be themselves. They have fit their life into the role that they feel they must fulfill even if they have outgrown that role or it has them suppressing their inner most desires. I am actually thinking of the woman in The Shift, Wayne Dyer’s movie.
When she woke up and told her husband she was going to stay at the beach for a few more days to paint, it was like an awakening was taking place in her. She realized that her children didn’t even know she had a love of painting. It was quite moving. If you are ready to reconnect to what you love in life, and go fearlessly forward, I invite you to connect with me in my work with me tab. It takes courage to follow your heart.