Why You Aren’t Happy Right Now…and How to Change That!

One of the top questions I hear is “I am making improvements in my life, why am I not happy yet?”  I get asked this about many things, but in a nutshell, the answer is actually because you really haven’t thought about being happy.  Shock!  I have thought about it a hundred times…you think.  But it drifts off into the sea of other thoughts around what you need to make you happy.  If I only had…a bigger house.  If I only had…a relationship.  More money would really help make me happy.  You then carry on with your day and your thoughts about things that would make you happy.

Lots of people are looking for happiness in the wrong places.  Some people believe happiness comes when they get what they want.  Interesting.  What next?  Do we stay happy after getting what we want then?

Life is a series of complex decisions; however, what if it didn’t have to be.  What if you could declutter your life, get rid of things you don’t want and start over.  Interesting concept.  Downsize instead of supersize?  No way.  Hmm.  But what if?

Many people don’t believe happiness is a choice that only they can make.  I am going to provide you with some tips on how you can choose happiness over and over again, and maybe, just maybe, start to see that is not based off some magical formula, a fairy tale, or even a myth that has been handed down for generations.  Happiness is truly what you make of it.

How to Create Lasting Happiness Right Now:

    • Start a gratitude journal if you don’t already have one.  I know you guys have been watching my weekly talk about this on my fan page when I am Live, but have you started your journal with me?  I am not going to stop talking about it, because we focus so much on what’s wrong, we have forgotten our joys y’all.  I had to throw a y’all in there so you would know I am serious.  Just take a look at your feed.  Count the people who post their blessings…for REAL.  Umm hmm.  Not many, right? Anyway, my exact journal is posted above.  I love it!
    • Clear your space for happiness.  Do you get depressed in a dirty house?  An unmade bed?  Dirty sheets?  No nice smelly things like oils, etc.?  Start tidying up to make room for happiness.  Happiness can start with an intention.  We feel better now because we have done something.  It actually raises our vibration to walk into a nice, clean, insert favorite scent here, room.  I have a diffuser similar to this one to help me feel relaxed and at ease.
    • Work only on what you can change…about you.  So many times, I see people worrying about what others are doing on a daily basis.  The corrupt politicians, the boss, work issues, family who do x, y, z.  All these people have faults just like you.  We aren’t getting anywhere in this world by talking about what we don’t like.  Period.  It has not ever changed one thing in my life.  What has?  Focusing on what I can do to make things better.  Writing articles to help people.  Helping people take back their lives makes me happy.  No strings attached, just pure happiness.  As I work to promote the good I see, things inside of me change as well.  As I help others, I help myself.
    • Practice makes perfect-ish.  I wanted to use this old saying, but let you know that no one is actually perfect.  However, practicing gratitude and changing your focus over and over again can actually change your percentage of happiness.  No Way.  But yes way, because a fancy researcher said so.  According to Robert Emmons, PhD in his book, Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, those who regularly practice gratitude can enhance this set point by as much as 25%.  I don’t know him, but what a cute book.  I am actually reading a similar one…but it’s almost too behavioral study based and long-winded for me.
    • Use a wide viewpoint…and not just a narrow one.  If you consistently see your problems as the only ones, then that creates an ego-based viewpoint of the world.  Be aware of your circle of friends, and what the world is also going through.  Cultivate compassion for others and their needs…but not to the point of using your needs as a basis for inserting it into every conversation.  That still brings it down to a narrow viewpoint.  Social media has made it more “me based” instead of “us based”.  Don’t be that way with your friends.
    • Always keep trying.  Just because you have a set-back, or something sad happens, doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to feel it.  Of course you are.  But don’t stay in that place forever.  Keep on going.  Just like I said last week, you have the power to live any reality you want simply by shifting your thoughts to where you want to be. 

happiness_oneselfStill looking for more support?  Check out the tops tabs.  Work with me, or the Head|Heart|Health Club.

 

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Manifesting Journal Tips

Once upon a time, I started a journal and acted AS IF what I wrote in the journal had already come true.  I started adding in monthly goals, and then just writing throughout the month AS IF those goals came true.  If I showed you my journal now, you would be amazed at the number of check marks beside each statement I wrote.  Yes, they came true.

So before you guys think I am making this up, I kid you not, I started telling my girlfriends about it.  We have a night we call “Sister circle” and it is a night we can bring crafts, stories, wine, or whatever, ha, to the table.  I started telling them a while back about my journal.  Then I started helping my friends journal…and even art journal, bullet journal or whatever, but they had to lay it all out there.  Bare.  No lies in the journal.

Since I started my journal therapy sessions, one girlfriend came back to yoga, started losing weight and unblocking her weight-loss well, block, another started healing internally from divorce, and countless other things have happened.  I think the BEST thing that has happened, is that I thought they would be afraid to show me their journals, but they aren’t.  That is huge.  It means they are stepping into this truth that they write and owning it, which is part of the shift in thinking.  We live from a place of now instead of fear.  I was so proud of my girlfriend who wrote on weight loss that the first time she showed me her wall, I got teary.  It was a huge shift.  Oh, the wall she drew in her journal with all her blocks on losing weight.

5 Tips to Manifest Change in Your Life:

  1. Practice gratitude each morning.  I recently gave my talk in London about how at my darkest pain level, I started getting out of the bed and saying “thank you”.  I talk to God, Jesus, Angels and the Universe, but you do whatever floats your boat.  I don’t believe I have to make a choice in believing that God supports my decisions to get well only if I do x,y,z and therefore Law of Attraction type thoughts are wrong.  Nope.  He supports me.
  2. I constantly realign my thoughts every single minute.  I am no different from you.  Each of us has the potential to think good or bad thoughts and dwell on them.  Notice the thoughts and every time you think a negative thought, put a positive spin on it and float it down the river.
  3. TAKE ownership of what is happening in your life.  People most often blame others, their parents, God, the Universe, the Devil, your 5th grade teacher…or someone else.  Umm.  It’s you.  Yup.  It’s you.  I know what you are thinking…I didn’t ask for this.  Neither did I, read my about me to see what I didn’t ask for.  Nevertheless, it was there.  I couldn’t change my genes.  I accepted the diseases and then finally, finally, began to move on.  Yes, I spent countless hours researching and developing a plan to move forward and release myself, but still, I did something about it!
  4. Write down a clear intention of how you want to feel.  I started writing how I wanted to feel, and reading it nightly.  I wrote what great things were coming to me.  And I sat and felt those emotions.  How I would feel in my new SUV and what it would be like to really have a new car.  We desperately needed one, but here is a tip.  You can’t manifest from desperation.  I had to let all that go.  Scarcity thinking.  Nope.  Abundant thinking.  Yes.  I have enough.  I am enough.  I wrote about the vehicle in December.  In April, we bought a new SUV.  My mini-van was literally falling to pieces by that time, but I let go of the thoughts of not making it down the road.  I opened myself up to thoughts of a reliable vehicle and how that would feel.
  5. Really and truly feel the gratitude AS IF it has already happened.  Seriously, this one is so important that it started and ended my days.  I said thank you every night.  I blessed the goodness in my life nightly.  I still do.  I push allllll the other thoughts away and if for some reason I can’t, I go to yoga then I can think on what great things have happened.  So have your routine.  Go for a walk, pray, mediate, run, go to yoga, but think on the goodness of the universe because it is there.  It is.  Do good deeds and random acts of kindness as you go along, and you will really feel the boomerang effect of what you think you attract.

Lastly, because I believe in journal therapy so much, I added another bonus to my Head|Heart|Health Club, which really and truly gets you out of your head and into action!!  The whole reason I designed it was for people who are stuck in their heads, hearts, and not able to move forward for their health.  Much like I was in the beginning of this life-long journey to create the path I was meant to be on.  I am there now and would love to have you join me!

Gift of thanksEditor’s Note…I like this journal:

Still want more incentives to journal?  Try this E-book.

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10 Ways to Improve Your Mood

Mood

Doobie-doobie doo. <<< That’s me humming or something like that.  I am walking along, minding my own business, busy being in a great mood, when I get this message from someone not in a great mood.  Or worse, I check my bank account.  Hahaha, that’s always sure to put me in a great mood.  But seriously, whatever it is that has got you in a funk, let’s go ahead and get right on out of it.

Here are 10 Ways to Improve Your Mood:

1. Filter your thoughts.  You know how a pool filter gets the bugs and whatnot out of the pool so that your water is crystal clear?  Well I want you to put a filtration system in your head. Imagine it working as something comes in that’s causing you pain, discomfort, or depression.  Just turn it on, and if you have to run away from whoever is talking loudly making some sort of buzzing sound as if you have just engaged the hot tub cleaning feature, go ahead.  That’s sure to raise a few eyebrows…especially at work.
2. Stop dwelling.  So you wore your Bazinga T-shirt to work and it was dress like a Star Wars character day.  It’s okay.  Don’t replay in your head 1,000 times how you had the perfect Chewbacca robe that you could have gotten away with wearing just today.  Maybe it was even worse than that…and someone ate your all-natural gluten-free microwave meal out of refrigerator and now you have no food for lunch…only it’s 3 hours later and you are still thinking about it.  It’s over. I am sure they did not enjoy it as much as you would have…since it was your special pumpkin ravioli, but don’t go there.  Filter! Filter!
3. Play it cool.  I have been told that acting happy would in fact make me feel happier.  Hmm.  So therefore, tomorrow, when you go back to work, meet everyone in the eye and say hello to them like you mean it.  Act cool.  You got this.  You become what you think about most of the time, so no thinking about who stole your ravioli yesterday…and stop eyeballing Bob.  Think nice happy thoughts, like watching your favorite comedy show later and relaxing, but keep that thought while you work.
4. Be careful who you spend time with.  There you are, minding your own business on break, when Debby comes into the room.  Debby Downer.  That’s right.  You try not to make eye contact, but there’s nowhere to hide.  You pick up a magazine off the break room table really quickly to read it, but it’s a gossip magazine, which really makes you feel worse.  Debby jumps on the headline of doom and gloom and before you know it, your “break” has made you feel worse.  Negative attracts negative. Filter! Filter!
5. Breathe deeply and focus.  Did you know that people who suffer from depression are more likely shallow breathers?  Well neither did I, but I read it. But I do know that by breathing deeply, you cause the release of neurotransmitters in the brain that are associated with happy calm feelings and reduced levels of stress…plus I like brain research.  I also know that when I learned to somewhat meditate (I am trying) that I feel much better.  That’s actually why I encourage everyone to breathe deeply in my yoga classes.  Plus I don’t want them to pass out, but same thing.  I want them to feel good.
6. Put the lime in the coconut oil.  So, because I study things like thyroid function…not for fun, but to improve my health, I added coconut oil after discovering that people who don’t eat correctly could be actually making their anxiety and depression worse.  Coconut oil can boost thyroid function helping to increase metabolism, energy and endurance not to mention you could actually make a Piña Colada some nice fat coconut milk.  Yummy.  See? Mood improved.  Best blog post ever.
7. Lay off the processed foods.  Sorry to be a buzz kill, but hey, look at the bright side, you will feel better.  Ready for some crazy “study” I read about? Yes. Yes you are.  I read a report taken from the Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews that basically uses long words to simply say sugar lights up your brain like cocaine.  It actually becomes an addiction.  Trust me, I was UGLY during my sugar withdrawal phase a little over a year ago, and now don’t even think about it…much.  Except when I see a Cadbury Egg. Filter!
8. Put on some 80’s musicOkay, fine so I stopped listening to modern music somewhere around the year ohhh 1996.  But whatever your personal music choice happens to be, put it on and sing.  It instantly works and activates the happy part of your brain…like ermmmm well other happy things I shan’t talk about, but you know.
9. The orb of sunlight.  You have rolled a 20.  You get to go outside today for 20 minutes.  If you pass this test, you can increase serotonin levels in your brain.  And while I always wear sunscreen or I burn like a vampire, it is suggested that you get the best benefits if you don’t wear sunscreen for those 20 minutes.  Or put on your daylight ring.  Whatever floats your boat…do it.
10. Get a dachshund or three.  It is reported, probably by Grumpy Cat, that cat owners are less likely to suffer from heart attacks than people who don’t own a cat.  And again it is “reported” by some folks who study nerdy brain things like Amy Farrah Fowler, Ph.D. that stroking your long-haired dachshund’s fur is calming to the nervous system and can reduce stress levels and improve your mood…unless they happen to take a pooh right on the floor because they still don’t listen.  In that case, owning a pet may not calm you down.  But hey, the bright side is that at least you can light some mood altering candles now.  Wink.

Lear these tips plus lots more hilarious support from me in our group Head|Heart|Health Club.

5 Ways to improve mood

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The Pensieve…

A recurring theme in my blog is lack of sleep.  Tonight I started thinking about that cool contraption from the mind of J.K. Rowling.  I would like to have a Pensieve in my room in order to store my memories and review them at a later time.  There are many reasons why I find this device practical, but for tonight, it is merely to get the thoughts out of my head and into the basin so to speak.  I passed a terrible accident this morning on the way to work and have not been able to get it out of my head.  It was one of those days when you start thinking about things you would change or do differently if you had the chance.  The problem with this line of thinking is that it spirals into all kinds of other corners that are better left alone in the dark recesses of your mind.  If just one event is changed, it could alter your future.

I stand firm in my belief that things happen for a reason.  Even terrible things that I would like to change.  I am thinking of some footage I saw tonight on another wave of terrible storms and tornadoes.  People might be asking why is this happening to them, but I think the better question is what do we do next?  I am sure that this is a hard concept to grasp for people who have lost everything, but I feel like it gives you a purpose.  The same can be said for my friends fighting cancer.  This one has always been near to my heart, and if you have been following my blog, you know why.  I replace the pain I felt over losing friends and family members with hope.  So many people are beating this disease everyday…and one day soon, a cure will be found.

I might regret some things I have done or said in my lifetime, but one thing is for certain, I was meant to do that at that particular time.  I can’t see the whole picture, and I wouldn’t want to.  Think of all the good you have brought someone and then think if you had never met that person.  What if you didn’t take that chance to say hello, or try to make the effort to remain friends?  How different your life would be.  One of my friends was talking about how life runs in cycles.  It is important to remember that even if you feel this is a bad time in your life, soon enough, this cycle will turn into another.  Take a risk every once in a while.  Put some things in the Pensieve if it helps you sleep.  But do not regret…learn from it instead.

“If you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything.”

~Win Borden