Getting Off the Emotional Roller Coaster…5 Things to Try

Getting Off the Emotional Roller Coaster...5 Things to Try

Your thoughts can determine your reality.  Do you accept this?  If so then you know that your moods are triggered by your thoughts which then creates a spiral of feelings.  Some are easy to deal with and others, well, let’s just say you might be having a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde conversation in your head.

As we start to spiral out of control, the emotional roller coaster senses it and the chemicals in our body either speed up the coaster or slow it down.  It is also important to note that regular eating habits can maintain a good balance in our blood sugar levels so if that is not the case, eat a snack right now and come back to me.

So after doing a check-in on your emotions, and knowing what your trigger is, it’s time to really dig in and do the work.  If you are reading this article, there is no one peeking over your shoulder to tell you how to feel right now, but you are aware that you might need a few tips and tricks to create less of the roller coaster ride, and more of a great sight-seeing train ride, that stays even and is enjoyable.

5 Tips to Get Off the Coaster:

  1. Are you in the present moment?  Imagine the mood is like a balloon.  Detach from it by letting go of the string and watch it drift away.  Same as old thoughts.  To come into this moment right now, practice breathing deeply for a full round of 3 breaths.  Roll your shoulders back and walk around barefoot as needed.  Feel the sensations in the present moment of your toes on whatever surface you are walking on.  Get grounded.
  2. Don’t act, pause.  If the emotion is at the top of that first hill, ride it out.  Throw your arms up and scream down that hill.  Man.  Emotions can suck, but they can be really cool as well.  Exhilarating even.  Think about the situation as a whole and ponder in a week from now, is this going to be the same?  Visualize the emotion you really want to enter in on your next clank up the roller coaster hill. As you come down that next hill, smile.
  3. Don’t dwell in negative.  We get so caught up in negative news, negative drama, and negative reactions that we tend to stay there.  Change your situation if possible.  Get out of the house.  Go for a walk.  Look for a new job, seriously, if it’s that bad.  But don’t dwell as it hasn’t helped you so far.  Make a plan.  Talk to a  health coach or a counselor if you really want a different perspective.  You can do this.
  4. Journal around your feelings.  I know that I teach this, and have several different tools you can use, but it is really true.  Daily my Club members tell me what a difference it makes just doing one exercise I have taught them.  Trying one new thing.  If you don’t believe me, see the link above and read the comments that scroll at the bottom.  You don’t have to be a great writer to practice this.  You can start off by simply writing “Today really sucked and here is why.”  Then shift that into, here is how I want to feel.  Then the next day you can go one step further and write as if the good news you have been wanting has happened or the day went better than expected.  Each day will get easier.  I know you can do this.
  5. Learn to practice mindfulness.  I did a funny live chat about a lady who was definitely not mindful on my last errand and how her day went compared to the manager who just smiled as she came out of the door.  I then starting thinking what if I have been like that?  What if I am seen in that light if I am in a hurry or if I lose my cool in public, which of course, never happens because I am all zen.  Yup.  A zen Scorpio.  hahaha.  <<< not really, but I am a work in progress, okay?

I don’t proclaim to have all the answers as I am still learning and teaching myself and will continue with each breath.  Each day I could have done things differently and of course, the old thoughts do not serve me.  I must let them go and release them.  Live in the present moment as best I can with the tools I have available to me.  Coach my Club and others using my motto “The burned hand teaches best.”  I can teach you because I have gone through it as well.

Want more guidance?  Come join my Closed group through this link.  I won’t hold you hostage and I know that spending $10 on monthly coaching seems too good to be true, but it’s not.  It’s real.

Feeling Lost? Are You Open for Help?

Are you open for help?

I was thinking about how hard it is to ask others for help.  Maybe this isn’t the case with you, but if you clicked on this, I think you were meant to read it.  You see I like to help others, I really do.  The weird thing is, I tend to isolate myself when I need help.

Why is being open for help so hard?

I think one of the reasons it is hard to ask others for help is because we assume society is going to see us as something less.  Truly.  Here is a wee example of a similar mindset.  My youngest has inherited my luck at finding faithful and true friends.  They are out there, and I do have my Unicorn (the one friend you can always call on no matter what), but right now, being a teenager is hard for her.  I went through this as well.

Scenario:  I have to be partners with x mom.  I know she left me out about 3 times, but I am okay with this.  Okay?  Don’t say anything.  I am fine.  <<< Not really, but okay.

So what advice would you give your teenage self if you could go back?

Don’t be the freaking Martyr. Seriously.  I told her to suffer in silence as this person continues to blow her off is not okay.  That is good advice for a teen and good advice for adults as well.  Be open and honest about the fact that being used is definitely not okay.

It is okay to not be okay.  Why do we have to say “No really.  I’m fine.”  If you aren’t fine, you aren’t fine.  No shame attached.  People who make you feel shame have had that passed down to them.  They were told to stuff it so often that they truly have stuffed their feelings inside.  Don’t let that be you.

Sit with it a while.  As the mom of not one, but two teenage daughters, I realize that occasionally I want to put on my armor and run into battle for them.  I need to sit down.  They need to sit down.  We all need to sit down.  Just be for a moment and see what happens.

Write about it.  I give everyone a journal.  I tell everyone to journal.  Ever since my red plastic Hello Kitty Diary days with the locking mechanism that got stuck, I journal.  I was around 6…seriously.  I also remember writing something that made me feel bad for the first time ever.  I “heated” someone I wrote.  Whew.  They had made me feel bad, made fun of me, and hit me.   So I heated them right back…and that made me feel bad.  That was the first time I can remember that I knew that wasn’t the answer to my problems.

Talk it out.  Now comes the time when we really need a good talking to.  NOT a private message.  NOT a series of short texts my people.  A chat.  A sit down.  People.  Don’t isolate if the problem is not going away.  The first thing I say to my girls is “Did you really talk?  Not a text??”  We can read into the words what we feel.  Not how they are intended.

Seek help.  If the situation hasn’t magically improved by doing the work above, it really is okay to say that you need some help or ideas in learning how to handle your problems.  Especially if it leads into the area of depression or thoughts of harm.  Have a list of trusted people.  Don’t have one?  Private Message or call a friend you trust especially if you know they have seen a mental health professional in your area.  Don’t want to do that because you want to stay private?  Use your friend “Google” and read the testimonials of the folks or reviews.

In the end, of course there are things we would all do differently, but today here is your most valuable lesson.  You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time, and now you might have different thoughts, but it is time to let it go.  If you need help moving on, ask.

Are you open for help?

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