“Mom. Name the friends you hang out with.” Sigh. I have friends, but I am a grown woman and I like my alone time. It is a familiar conversation in my house. For highly sensitive people, sometimes it is very hard to be around large crowds of people, noises, and anyone who might be trying to hide things. So that pretty much is everyone, right?
Let me explain. We all hide things to a certain degree, of course. However, if you are an empath, you pick up on so much more. <<< If you aren’t sure, I liked to my first article on my experiences. Anyway, here is an example of something that might happen to me. Someone sends me a text or a message. It seems like an ordinary message, but behind it I feel the reason they sent it and can tell that there are ulterior motives and/or strings attached. I decide whether or not I want to answer and how to answer as I know that there is something else coming. Maybe this sounds a bit woo-woo to you, but it really happens. Another example, someone says something in conversation that seems innocent to others. I look around at a gathering and see if anyone else believes what they just said and people are buying it. I am in disbelief because I feel the lie…and it makes me uncomfortable so I usually change the subject if it is a group of people or I just decide that it’s time to leave.
Final example on this…you go to social media and you see a series of clues that someone you know has put out there, but it’s like you have x-ray vision and no one in your circle does. You casually mention that so and so seems to be really upset and you think maybe they need to talk about it or something along those lines, and suddenly you are starting gossip when the truth is, you were really just concerned. This is the one that makes me upset because people are like how do you know? What did you hear? What do you know? Erm. I just felt it. So perhaps you back away slowly from this because my, that escalated quickly. Thus the makings for the empath hermit.
3 Social Tips for the Empath:
- Get centered before you go out to any event. What does that mean anyway? Put both feet flat on the ground (barefoot) and if you are sitting sit up straighter through the spine. Shrug your shoulders up towards your ears, but then relax them back down as if you are shrugging, but opening up the heart area. In my Head|Heart|Health Club, I teach these steps in a series of videos relating to yoga and connecting to the body. So now I want you to place one hand on your stomach area above your navel. I want you to take a deep breath in and then hold at the top and then release the breath feeling your hand rise and fall. Do this for a round of three. This helps get you steady, especially if you suffer from anxiety, and this breath technique is available to you at all times should you need it. You might feel like you need to deep breathe to connect to your energy more than someone’s at a party or event as a reminder that your feelings are still there and you can then snap back into your own body. This is very effective.
- Dress for the event. Visualization and physical reminders help as well. You might want to wear pink to remind yourself to imagine a bubble of love. For someone not familiar with this practice, it is easy to get caught up in these bad feelings, and feel miserable for knowing things. As we practice “bubbling up” we can visualize a bubble of pink surrounding our physical body and carrying it with us into the crowd. As many people are quick to point out the negatives of humanity, you are going to remind yourself that there is good out there as well, and carry that feeling with you in the bubble. Think of it as Harry Potter’s Patronus…”a projection of your most positive feelings”, and only you know that it’s there. If you like to wear a necklace or bracelet with a word or charm on it to remind you of that, go for it. I actually wear a bracelet with the word gratitude.
- Do work prior to going out and when you come home. Here comes the part that I teach my club, talk about on my page during my live chats, and do myself daily. I journal and I do the work. I work through all of the feelings, and I have learned to tell immediately what is mine and what is not. I protect myself from the negative energy of others through a combination of yoga, journaling, meditation/prayer, and more. It has really helped me over the years take back what is my energy and sift through what might be a negative feeling that merged with mine. For very specific instructions, videos, tutorials, breathwork, and over 30 journal prompts designed specifically for the empath, check out my guide for your soul. <<<
The work that I have done on myself and others has helped me become more aware of how I navigate the world. I could have saved myself loads of pain over the years if I had realized what was happening earlier in my life, but the good thing is that now that I know, I am able to get out more and make better friendships and connections than I did prior to learning how to control my highly sensitive emotions.
Which Chakra Are You Guided By?
Chakra used to be a word that I really didn’t understand and therefore had a hard time grasping at first in my yoga studies. What in the world is a Chakra anyway? Why is it important?
In Sanskrit, the word Chakra literally means wheel. So far so good…but in yoga and other forms of healing, it refers to wheels of energy in the body. Energy is connected to the physical body through the 7 different areas, and when one is blocked, we begin to feel out of balance.
The 7 Chakras are as follows:
- Root- The Muladhara (red)
- Sacral- The Svadhisthana (orange)
- Solar Plexus- The Manipura (yellow)
- Heart – The Anahata (green)
- Throat – The Vishuddha (blue)
- Third Eye – The Ajna (indigo)
- Crown- The Sahaswara (purple)
Now let’s see what Chakra you are guided by and therefore what colors you might consider adding to your wardrobe! Feel free to pin it and share it with others!
Author’s note: This is not for use on other websites as it is my personal story. ~Aimee~
I once called the insurance phone number to ask a question. An hour later, the woman had shared her whole life story with me and I am not sure she ever answered my question, but I made her feel better. What is an empath anyway and did I just make that up? There are probably thousands of stories like this for me, but I want you to think about times you have interacted with someone and felt all the same feelings they have…or perhaps they have told you things you just didn’t really need to know.
My entire life, I have felt different. I think I have tried really hard to keep a lid on it all until the last 5 years. Derived from the Greek “em” (in) and “pathos” (feeling), the term empathic means I am able to “feel into” others’ feelings. At first, I thought I was just using my computer skills to really know what to post on my fan page for the blog. I always seemed to post just the right quote for my real-life friends, and my page continued to grow that way.
After a while, people began to really identify with my story, and came to me for answers. I continued to grow my client list in my all-natural supplement business Vitalize You because I could get to the root of what the client needed. I learned that I felt what my client was saying to me and within a few short conversations, seriously knew what they needed to do whether it was on the phone or through messaging. I could pick up on vibrations.
So what does this all mean for you if you are friends with one? I have a few tips on what you might notice.
10 Things You Notice Near an Empath:
- Please take what we say seriously. If you ask us for advice, even if it sounds crazy, there is some truth in it. We just know things and it bothers the heck out of us when you ask us for advice and don’t listen. Sometimes things makes sense to us long before they make sense to you…and that includes “coincidences” that aren’t really a coincidence at all.
- Lies have no place in any conversation with us ever. The surest way to ruin a friendship with an empath is to continue lying to them. It’s just sad really because there is no point and it has been really painful for me personally. I have had to look into the eyes of a close friend and see the hesitation for a split second and I literally felt the lie as it slipped over my skin. I can’t explain it and I don’t want to. It is one of my most uncomfortable traits to not be able to turn off.
- Any national tragedy is unbearable…no matter how far away. I wrote a post after Sandy Hook Elementary School was in the news and to this day I can’t read about it. Period. I become the pain in a way I can’t explain to other people. Plus, I was also a teacher. I can’t “unfeel” so the less I know, the better.
- They always look tired. I love everyone, I do. But stop asking me why I have dark circles under my eyes. They have been there my whole life. Many empaths get diagnosed with chronic fatigue because they don’t know how to shield themselves properly from energy vampires. This is a work in progress for many.
- Healing often becomes their way of life. My friend called me the bridge the other night. I was like interesting. I am the bridge. I see what needs to be done and I just suggest it for others. Whether it is tests, home remedies, alternative methods, exercise, nutrition, or holistic therapy suggestions, I just see it. It is how I approached my own care and came up with my wellness program, and it is how I have helped hundreds of others. It is my job to bridge the gap between modern medicine and what needs to be done in your body.
- They might get distracted easily and daydream. This is really true as I can feel some currents and go off on some other task. This is one of the reasons I have to stay organized as best I can.
- Living a lie would be damn near impossible. If someone asks me to do something I don’t like…I find a way to procrastinate. However, the procrastination might just be my intuition saying you really have to tell them no. Likewise, when someone asks me to do anything at all like “covering up for them” or “lie for them” I have a hard time holding in my anger at this type of behavior.
- No room for narcissism at all. I was asked to be in this group of people who were fawning all over someone. I thought I was going to lose my shit on all of them because the guy shows how much money he has, what he drives, how many people “love” him, and it is the biggest act I have ever seen. Things nobody has time for. THAT. My BS meter is way too high.
- The love of animals is strong within us. Most empaths love their animals as if they are furry children and would do anything for them. Anything. So just know that if you don’t like our animals…we know and you won’t last long around us.
- Empaths need laughter daily. We are connected to our bodies, sometimes. Mostly, we are in our heads. BUT you can help us by asking us to live in the moment with you. To laugh. To get out of the house if we are in hermit mood, because sometimes the world is too much for us to take. We need to remember what it’s like to be connected.
I can’t say that this is your friend…or you, but if you identify with all of these things, then yes, you probably know what it’s like to be an empath. I unfortunately mean what I say as I utter“I feel your pain.” I always appreciate my close friends understanding this of me and giving me the space to breathe and recharge. Note: here is a follow-up on How to Protect Yourself from Negative Energy. <<< from all the questions I get.
Interested in a place where you can learn to control your thoughts? Check out the Empaths Guide here. <<<
After getting off the phone with a friend, you suddenly feel a headache coming on. You are absolutely drained and have nothing left, so you go to eat food thinking that is the problem. You start to eat mindlessly ruminating over the problems in your friend’s life and how to fix them or help the friend. That’s when it hits you. These aren’t your problems and this always happens after speaking to this person.
Here’s the most interesting thing about Energy Vampires…they don’t think that burdening you over and over is wrong. They see nothing abnormal in their behavior. These people started to form these habits long before you ever came into the picture and will continue with their ways long after you are gone. Sometimes they can be alcoholics, verbally abusive, or perhaps even children who didn’t feel nurtured and grew up to continue the pattern.
5 Signs of an Energy Vampire in Your Midst
1. People who are depressed, sad, or needy almost all of the time. I am not talking about full on depression, I am talking about people who tell you they are sad, but never do anything to help their situation. They seem to be a victim of everything. They are not interested in solutions, but want to exhaust you over and over again with the same sad story. You are probably already thinking about who this is. They are not hard to spot in your life. These types of people will never change as you must always be there for one crisis after another telling them it’s going to be okay. They have very low self-esteem and are insecure, so you must constantly build them up.
2. The one who blames and speaks negative. This one has excuses for lots of things. The timing isn’t right and somehow you start to feel guilty because he blamed you. He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions and he likes to bring you down to his level of thinking. He wants you to feel like what he did was somehow your fault. The only way to rise above this person is to raise your vibration and do the opposite of what he wants. However, sometimes this person can also disguise themselves as the next example.
3. The polite one. This person appears to have all their “shit” together. Appearances are very important to them. They want the whole world to think they are happy…but occasionally, you see through it. These people often blame others, avoid or ignore, procrastinate, and use ambiguous speech. The truth is, they are quite passive-aggressive and that behavior stems from their frustration of expressing themselves indirectly so that they don’t have to admit real feelings. They want to be like Switzerland in conflicts so that whatever side wins, they can say they were always on that side. They are often untruthful about any desire or emotion; therefore, this lack of honesty leads to relationship problems. Some of these types of energy vampires truly enjoy the game of frustrating people. Strong emotions make this person dishonest and you might feel conflicted in their presence as well. They are always at war with themselves, but want to appear like they have it together.
4. The drama queen. This one likes to stir up the pot and sit back and watch. You already know who this is in your life. These people don’t have anything exciting going on in their lives and perhaps you do. They want to mimic your positive energy by swirling up the chaos because that creates an energy that will distract them from their lives. Don’t engage. Back slowly away.
5. The green-eyed one. Here I am referring to the jealous energy drainer. These folks want what everyone else has. Their neighbors, their co-workers, the celebrities. They are always trying to get attention as well because they feel empty. They have something to prove…to all these people who might not notice them. If you encounter these guys, try to point out what they have and see what happens. Chances are it won’t matter to them because it’s never good enough.
The best defense you have against these types of people is your awareness. When they speak to you it is with the intention of bringing your vibrational energy down. If you can’t shift their energy, then you need to release it from your life for good.
Need a supportive group of people to raise your energy? Come join us!
If there was ever a time I needed to turn off my brain, it would be now. I saw the signs leading up to it. They have always been there. I just THINK too much. I think too much to meditate. I think too much during yoga…well, when I went. I think too much when I’m trying to go to bed…so I read until it’s impossible to think and I finally fall into deep sleep (with the help of some all-natural pills). I think so much that when a friend invited me to “Mindfulness” day, I thought it was “Mind full of mess” and quickly accepted. Oh wait, that’s not it. Okay, because I totally have that day on repeat.
I even thought too much when I went to a relaxing float spa. Don’t ask. Alien pod, you float. Thoughts of cryogenics and freezing me for later awakenings might have entered my mind. That or being trapped in there. And maybe, do they clean this thing? Am I floating in someone’s healing water because I hope this is fresh. How much salt is in here? Hmm. This place is hot. I wonder if this is like the temperature of the jungle or something? No Hawaii, wait how would I know? Maybe this is like a hot spring. Yeah. I wonder if this is healing me now? Oh yeah, that nice lady told me she hated this pillow for my head, but I like it because she also told me not to get my ear wet if I ever had ear problems. Remember that one time when your ear drum burst? Yes. Worst pain ever. How will I know when this thing is done? How much time has passed? Oh that’s right, the music cues up to remind me. I had just dozed off when the music came back on and the jets started signaling it was over.
By the time I was done “relaxing”, I needed to relax. Every single day, I write at least 3 blogs in my head as I am trying to fall asleep. They are usually quite awesome, but I will myself to stay there and go to bed. So some strategies I am GOING to start using are as follows:
- Stop looking at my phone. The only way to do this is to un-install FB from my phone. No lie. I have done it before. I lasted a week. It was better than nothing. Stupid Smart phone. It flashes, and makes noise. Stop.
- Get back to nature. I love being outside and this winter has dragged on, and on, and ON. And on. Like the Groundhog Day movie itself. Cold is not my friend.
- Get back to yoga…I will eventually do this one. I will.
- Pull weeds. That’s right. Gardening is good for the soul.
- Get to bed on time…which essentially means shutting down an hour earlier. Making myself stick to “business” hours since I work from home has been difficult.
- Drink turmeric milk before bed. Ahhh. It’s tasty and healing. See my Pinterest board.
- Remind myself that I have to let go of things that are out of my control. Poof.
So, give over to this energy that creates dreams and let go of the energy you are spinning in all directions. If you know how to do this, feel free to let me know:)
Author’s note: This post was created before I became a yoga instructor…and before I created my meditative style of journaling. See the Head|Heart|Health Club for the ways I really do turn it off.
So, I can’t concentrate. There’s a big surprise. I was thinking about how we need to balance our lives or we will all go crazy. Then I started singing “Everybody Feng shui tonight…”. You know, like this:
I’ve had a hard couple of days. I am trying to cleanse myself of negative emotions again. The power of positive thinking can and does make a big difference. So I started reading about “qi” which is pronounced “chee” in English. Apparently this plays a big part in the practice of Feng shui and is seen as a movable positive or negative life force. You might not get my humor, but usually I want to beat down the negative feelings with a Homey D. Clown sock. So, apparently I harbor something called “Sha Chi” or attacking energy. Hmmm…need to get rid of that. I am striving for more “Sheng Chi” in my home and work environment which means good energy. I don’t know anything at all about the placement of items or the colors I need to fix all of this in my life, but what I do know, is that if I practice good thinking techniques, I can help achieve this as an attitude. I certainly do not want to have any “Si Chi” or low, decaying energy around me. You know what I am talking about because this can lead to depression or feelings of isolation. No matter what you are going through, remember this, surround yourself with positive thoughts, people, and actions; rid yourself of the negative. It will make a difference in your life, but you must keep doing it. So everybody Feng shui tonight.
“A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.” ~James Allen