Finding the Light in Dark Times.

Find the lightI feel your need this week my friends and I am going to bring you as much light as I can right now.  Over the years, I have faced illness, betrayal by a friend, difficult work environments (to say the least), having literally $5 left in my account, car break downs and various other “disasters” that cost me literally thousands of dollars when I didn’t have it to my name, and that time I couldn’t move at all and considered what the point of life was if you were going to be in pain 24/7 and living as if you were dead.  << Yes.  That was me.

What is the one thing that I held on to during those times?   The thought that life had a purpose for me….that I was being tested and measured…and that I really was going to come out on the other side of this stronger than before.

I had faith that there was a plan.  Did I know the plan?  Hell no.  I was apparently going to be the last to know.  But I sensed there was something greater than me at work and through me, things were going to change.

How I found the Light:

  1. I began my new morning ritual with gratitude.  I can not even began to describe the pain level to you at this moment.  It was beyond my skin feeling like it was on fire (it prickled and burned even when no one was touching me), my bones ached to the very core, and I couldn’t sleep at all.  There was no position to sleep in that didn’t bring me more pain.  My gut was distended from autoimmune, and my brain never stopped registering a pain response.  What did I have to be thankful for?  Lots.  LOTS.  So I started there.   Thank you for this new day.  Then I would put one foot over the bed and as the pain flared through my hip, I would step down and utter thanks to the heavens.  I continued this daily…no matter what.
  2. I began to focus on what I had….not what was missing.  <<< This was huge.  I worked my mind to abundance thinking, which was new to me.  I will never forget the day someone used that word.  As in my cup runneth over.  I am full of bountiful blessings.  You see this person who said that to me, made incredible amounts of money.  I literally had like $5 because I had to leave my job, teaching, due to my pain level and autoimmune responses being off the chart.  So I began to think about what I had.  I would list it in my head.  Then I would think about what I could do with the “gifts” I had.  And I gave as much as I could to others.
  3. I stayed as present as possible.  This was the opposite of what me, fantasy world living girl, wanted to do.  I wanted to escape in my head or in my books, where things were easy.   I started paying attention to little things.  Leaves.  Sunlight filtering in.  Tucking my kids in.  My husband’s strong hug when he was just as scared as I was.  Coffee.  The warmth of the cup.  My parents.  Knowing that I could call them, but trying not to cry if things were bad.  Just simply putting one foot in front of the other until that was all I could do.  And lastly, the day that I found the breath.  Through yoga.  I learned how to stay present through the haze of pain in yoga.
  4. I learned how to fall apart…better.  There are tantrums.  There are crying spells.  And then there are “why me” moments.  The silent, soul racking sobs that make you think your entire world is ending and you can’t control what is happening.  The truth is, you can’t control what is happening and you never could.  Not even when things were great.  So this is no different.  I learned to get through those moments and then say to myself “snap out of it” <<< Yes.  I imagined Cher slapping me.  Then I would say what tiny thing CAN I control right now?  usually it was getting out of my damn pajamas and struggling to take a shower.  When that was over, I would feel better and I would see what reserve energy I had left to go to the store.  If I manged those two small things, I felt better.  I could have tea and then write.  This is all in the early days of this blog, but the moments were there when I learned how to “life” better.  I learned to lean into it.
  5. I could control who I was around.  If I had to look at pitying eyes one more time I was going to slap someone.  And if anyone said that it happened for a reason I wanted to stab them.  << Note, no one was actually harmed.  I did however, cut some people off instead.  Anger was a huge part of who I was.  At that time.  And yoga helped me learn to control that to the best of my ability.  I started being around people who could lift me up and meet me where I was that day.  If I didn’t have those people, I searched for them.  I made my own world.  And I didn’t regret the choices I had to make when people were not able to support me.  When people were too busy condemning or judging how I got through this, they went into the boundary holding area Most of them never came back from that area.  The ones who did admitted they were sorry…and a few more later went through difficult experiences and admitted they had no idea until they too were tested.
  6. I created my own feelings of happiness and peace.  I prayed, I read, I meditated, I did the yoga, but it was entirely up to me to be the one to move forward.  No one could do that for me.  I was given the ability to be stronger than my problems, and no one else could turn that key.  No one except for me.  I didn’t wait for a doctor to magically cure me as there was no cure for my incurable diseases…but I also didn’t settle for that answer.  I made my own way.
  7. I used my lessons to teach others.   You can ask my yoga brothers and sisters.  I couldn’t hold myself up in downdog for more than a few seconds when I first started Yoga Teacher Training.  How was I going to get through 200 hours?  Scorpio hard-headed power activate.  I learn to use the word “modify” in a sentence.  It meant for me to do what I could with the pose and use props, blankets, blocks and take a child’s pose as needed.  I finished my 200 hours and went on to take yoga for arthritis and pain.  I then combined every single lesson I had ever learned last year, at this very time, and take some money I had saved and invest in my business to help others.  I launched the 30 Days of Gratitude Group, which then became the foundation for my Head|Heart|Health Club.  I learned how to help others through their own “pain”, whether it was mental or physical, and take one day at a time. 

Need more help?  Use the search bar on the right and type in the word you are looking for.  Want to watch my videos?  << Go there.

Facing Our Demons…and Kicking Ass.

Super cool photo of your demons.

This was not going to be the original title, but it needed to be said.  How often have you actually named your demon?  I am not talking about a freaky version of Rumpelstiltskin where a tiny man dances around the fire saying his name loudly in a song that your hand-maiden can hear in order to destroy him…way to go Rumple, nope.  Not that kind of naming.  No.  This kind is actually way worse.

The scariest quest I ever completed was the journey into my deepest darkest fears.  The time that I sat on the couch and knew that without hope, of which I had very little, and faith, of which I still had a small amount left, that if I lost those two things, I would not be able to come out on the other side of this…maybe ever.  Let me be real about it.  It was not suicide, it was immense and total desperation.  It was depression that at such a young age, disease starting trying to destroy my body.

Now with disease comes an entire army of demons.  The likes of which normal people might face one at a time.  However, with me, it was the Battle of the 5 Armies and I wasn’t sure if the Elves were going to fight for me…or not.  << see that scary part in the beginning if you love Tolkien like I do, but stay for the battle.  It’s only a minute but it illustrates my point perfectly.

So the orcs, my demons, I had to name.  I was afraid of living a life of pain, and I knew it.  All of a sudden the Elves catapulted over the humans to fight the impending doom.  In reality, that didn’t happen.  I had to rise up and make a plan.  A plan that I knew would not bring me instant gratification, and a plan that I knew was going to be hard.  Like throwing the ring into Mount Doom hard.  So what did I do?

I got still.  And I said a prayer.

You can meditate, talk to your higher power, write about it, but speak it into existence.  Ask for it.  Seriously.  Men fighting battles always say a battle cry to rally the troops.  We’ve seen that time and time again.  RALLY your TROOPS. 

I made a plan.

Let’s say that you are dealing with anxiety.  When does it happen?  What are your triggers?  Do you know what causes you to spiral into that head space where all the voices are going off at once?  Write it down.  Use a focus word or mantra like this “I am breathing in.  I am breathing out.  I am safe.  I am whole.  I am not afraid. I am in control of my thoughts.”

I realized that I could control my thoughts.

This was a huge part of healing.  As I started to take back control of my Head, everything else started falling into place.  Did this process happen overnight?  No.  But I had a great and powerful plan of journaling my way back to what I truly wanted to feel like, and it was working.

I got really clear on my inner most desires, feelings, and what I did NOT want in my life.

It’s amazing how boundaries work.  One day, after a particularly amazing Yoga session, a “friend” called me to vent yet again.  Only this time, everything that was wrong in her life somehow became my fault because I suggested that I could help her no more and that perhaps therapy was needed.  Never heard from her again.  I was not important enough when I wanted to do fun things like go to yoga, or go out and enjoy dinner without hearing the same exact story.  Every. Single.  Time.  I was ready to grow and change and move forward.  She, and a few others like her, were not.

I made self-care first, not second, to ANY excuses.

This one is also powerful because if you make a commitment to your health and well-being, honor it or one day, quite frankly, you might not be here.  Too many people were flipping out, stressed out, and over the profession I was in.  They always stayed late, and got there early.  They said they couldn’t make yoga because of a “work” thing.  Or it was raining.  Or they were tired.  <<< pick your poison.  Excuses are a type of demon that want you to fail, so my friends, put up the good fight.  Send in Legolas and do the work here. 

I hope this helps you see that growth, in any form, is not an overnight process.  I recently pissed off a person as I mentioned that it was up to them, and no one else, to make their own happiness.  That is where the light comes in my friends.  You can fight these demons and win.  I believe in you.

Dedicated to my warriors in the Head|Heart|Health Club.  There is always room for you!

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9 tips on how to manage your iron overload disease.

9 tips on how to manage your iron overload disease…

This post will be dedicated to all of my new friends and friends I have yet to meet.  I can’t wait to get to my quote, but that’s my closing signature as you know.  So here it goes.  Let’s collect all of things we have learned and put them on one page.  I’m going to start because it’s my blog.  Onto your assignment.  If you have been diagnosed with Hereditary Hemochromatosis, you already know what’s wrong with you.  Hopefully, somewhere along the way someone explained what you should be doing, but if not, click the link above.  I am moving onto the next step.  Healing.  All of the bloggers I have recently met share a wealth of knowledge, but we are not doctors.  We are here as a support group for each other, so ask your doctor about any tips we share.  I am going to share some things that have taken me over 14 years to learn.  I don’t want you to wait that long.  If anyone has anything to add, please comment below.

  1. My joints ache.  What should I do?  Start taking a product with Glucosamine and Chondroitin like Relief.   I use the products I linked here, but you can use whatever works for you.  I personally know these have no fillers and no adverse side effects for my autoimmune disease as well.
  2. I am exhausted all the time.  What’s next?  After your ferritin has reached a good level (10 is nice), have your doctor check your vitamin D.  Seriously.  Why did it take 12 years to realize this?  I can’t be out in the sun for long.  This would make sense to check.  My favorite is this one called It’s Vital Minerals.
  3. I was taking a multi-vitamin.  What now?  Stay away from them!  Too much vitamin C is not needed as it promotes the absorption of iron and obviously we can’t take iron.  It was all Mr. Flintstones fault…if only we knew back then.  Find a vitamin with either low C or none added, and no added iron!
  4. I like raw seafood.  I heard I have to stay away.  This is true…to some degree.  Do not eat raw oysters ever due to Vibrio Vulnificus.  Thanks to one of my new blogger friends, I learned this word.  Honestly, no one ever told me why, just the get sick and die part.  Seriously.
  5. Drink more coffee.  Why?  Coffee is your life’s blood.  Ha.  Okay, so not really, but it does interfere with the absorption of iron.  Awesome.  We are Bi-winning now.
  6. Can I still drink gallons of sweet tea?  Okay, so I live in the south, and drink lots of tea.  My momma will even tell you she put it in my bottle.  No lie.  Please drink all the tea you want!  In fact, it also has magical properties if you drink the green tea version.  Would I fib?  Well, maybe not exactly magical per say, but it depends on your symptoms.  We are basing this off me.  While it does have a trace amount of ascorbic acid (vitamin C), it has selenium, which helps the thyroid.  This is important as iron has played with parts of my body I was not aware of.  That statement sounds a bit off…moving on.
  7. Prebiotics are good for your gut!!  If you are in maintenance phase and are de-ironed, add these chews to make your digestion better.  Prebiotics are fibers that support the growth of healthy probiotic bacteria in your digestive system.  Very important to heal your “gut” and to think about it as something that helps balance your whole system.
  8. Yay!  I am “normal” again.  Can I stop getting treatments?  No, you can’t.  Not unless you have a vampire living with you or you are into bloodletting with leeches.  Go every 4-6 months for life and you’ll be fine.  That is why my doctor has a house on the water and just added a library addition.  I wish I was kidding.  She could at least offer me a tour.
  9. Please get checked for diabetes, thyroid problems, heart disease, or pituitary issues should new symptoms occur.

This list will continue to grow and evolve as my readers share their knowledge.  If you found my blog through Facebook, welcome!  Please feel free to subscribe and share with your loved ones.  And now the part I like sharing best…one of my favorite quotes.

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.”

~C.S. Lewis

5 tips to Make Life Easier

I make it a habit to read and respond to everyone personally while I still can on my Facebook Fan Page.  There used to be 80 fans, and while I am approaching 80,000 on the page, this blog is where the meat is.  Someone said “If only it were that F-word easy” on one of my posters the other day.  Here is the interesting thing…it can be that F-word easy.  It can.

However, I have to tell you angry sister, I do understand you.  I would love for you to read my about me here or my early posts about going to the doctor’s every week, but I am personally not going back there right now.  I understand commenting from a place of pain.  I do.  I understand sitting on the couch with tears running down your face because the physical pain is wearing you down mentally.  And as hard as it is, let’s get up, out of our pajamas, as I tell you on my videos, and make a damn plan.  If you do the little things first and get them out-of-the-way, we can tackle the big things later.

5 Tips to Make Life Easier:

  1. Let go of yesterday’s pain.  Emotionally, you might have spoken from a place of pain or anger.  Make yourself a cup of tea, and if you can fix whatever happened, set about making it right.  If not, let go.  Light a candle, put on your favorite music, and sit down and visualize your best self.  It is somewhat like meditation, but I do this with my own pain.  I visualize that it is gone and in its place is the best version of me possible.  I have had help with this process, because I also journal the best version of myself and how I want to feel.  It does help me release the feelings that are residual from 18 years of pain.  I mean come on, I didn’t think it was ever going to be like pressing the easy button.
  2. Do not, in any way shape or form, revert to victim mentality if you can help it.  What I mean here is don’t feel sorry for yourself or blame others.  I am purely talking about taking back control from those you have given your power too.  I understand the suffering of pain.  As we search for a way to protect ourselves from it, we climb deeper inside and cling to it being something that has happened to us.  Instead of embracing it as something that is currently part of us.  Once we name this fear, pain, anger and recognize that it really is part of us right now, we can learn to shift away from it as a feeling we don’t want to feel right now.  That is what I did with my pain.  I used yoga to shift away even as I embraced the pain of the movements.  To further explain, here is what I did.  I could not hold down dog at first.  The pain in my wrists was so great that I would inwardly berate myself at first.  I focused on the pain.  As I learned to shift from that to the breath, I began to have a revelation.  The pain would lessen if only for a bit.  By the end of my 200 hour yoga teacher training, the pain was a dull ache in my lower back and shoulders, where it had been a raging inferno consuming me before my journey.
  3. Get stronger.  This can be mentally, physically, and spiritually.  Really, it can be done.  I had every uplifting book known to man.  I had CD’s.  I despised all those people.  Yup.  I did.  Until I realized that wasn’t going to change my situation.  They were not to blame because they were able to get over x, y, z that they wrote about (insert what is causing you to feel weak).  I decided that I needed to be stronger.  I wrote more in my journal about what i wanted to feel.  I continued my yoga practice, and I surrounded myself with the types of people I needed in my life.  The ones doing the exact same thing I was.  MOVING on.
  4. Find the right people to lift you up.  So this has to be next, because I have written about moving past the energy vampires before.  You can’t expect to move on without any energy.  If you have people taking, taking, taking, maybe a tiny give back to keep you there, but then taking, taking, taking again.  It’s time to create that distance I have spoken of.  Start getting to exercise class if it’s for you, or paint nights.  Meditation groups, yoga, or anything that does not include talking about your pain and suffering.  Leave that for your counselor.  Move on with your friends.  Does that mean you can’t ever talk about it?  No.  It doesn’t.  But look at what you are trying to become and step into it completely so you have a fighting chance. 
  5. Be consistent in your steps.  If at all possible, don’t revert back to “Woe is me.”  Do I do that sometimes?  Hell yes.  Then I call a friend and say “Slap me like in Moonstruck if I say…” then we go on about our day.  I also try to do that for my clients as well.  Ermm, not the slapping part.  But I tell them the truth.  The truth is so hard sometimes, but I say it anyway.  Always.  Because I want to be consistent in my steps and part of that is owning my truth and knowing when I have started slipping backwards.  It is important to continue on the journey forward with slow and steady steps if need be, but at least I am making progress.

fighting_chance

Dear friends, do you need more help?  Each month we work on raising our vibrations in the Head|Heart|Health Club.  I would love to have you join us!

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What is Fierce February?

Fierce Love

I was pondering what to say to everyone on The Burned Hand fan page, when I came up with #fiercefebruary due to some research I was doing about cortisol levels and self-esteem in the older population.  The word “fierce” is particularly useful in self-esteem talks because you can basically “fake it until you make it”.  Fierce can be ferocious and forceful like a lion…but it can also mean showing a heartfelt and powerful intensity.  That’s what I want you to put in your head a minute.

What does fierce look like?

So I did a series of posters on Vitalize You Wellness that I pinned to the top of the fan page.  That page is meant to inspire my friends, followers, and clients of my 4 Weeks to Wellness as well as my yoga community.  It was difficult to do the posters and of course, that was because of the old feelings that came up with them, but when I was done, I knew it was the right thing…even though you have to hover over the pause to slow it down since I didn’t create the program as it’s on FB.

When I came to my yoga teacher training, it was just like any other time you would meet me.  I was open and honest about what it was like to live with invisible diseases and pain because I looked okay on the outside. But the truth is, don’t we all??  I’d like to start you off with this thought for the month.  How can coming to terms with whatever you can’t change make you stronger?  Better yet, why don’t you start working on the things you can change and see where you are in a month?  I mean honestly, that’s the whole basis of my plan that I made for myself.  I was so focused on the pain, the hurt and the diseases that I forgot to focus on other things.

As I began to work my way backwards, which was very interesting because I focused on the end result instead of that moment, I kept telling myself that I could make it from February 6th of last year, WOW, until June 14th.  Each month I would start my wellness checks, was I eating the right way for my body, yes.  Was I now moving, yes.  Was I taking care of my stress and balancing my life out as best I could?? Yes.  And lastly, was I taking care of my self-care needs?  Yes.  When I began to realize that not everyone fighting invisible diseases had the kind of support that I did, I started working on this course for my friends.

It has now been one year since I started my yoga teacher journey, and I want to encourage you to do something that makes you feel “fierce” and strong.  Please know that one of my favorite quotes is “It takes so much courage just to start.” And I hope you start working on yourself a little each day.  If you are interested in learning more about my program, 4 Weeks to Wellness, which is currently under $50!!  Click the linked word to find out more.  You get lifetime membership for the introductory price even if I add more modules later!

Fierce Feb

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Blog Talk Radio Interview

Hi friends…today I had a follow-up radio interview to my previous interview that talked about Living with invisible diseases.  Today the talk focused on how I was able to move forward from all that pain, and start getting back to the life I thought I was going to be living.

What is Blog Talk Radio anyway?

BlogTalkRadio is the online radio network that allows users to host live call-in talk shows with unlimited participants using our free podcast recording tool. No software to download or complicated audio equipment.

I would love for you to listen to this quick show!  The Magic Happens “Share the Wealth” with Kellie Fitzgerald as hostess.  The interview went so well again that Kellie has asked me to come back for an even longer talk next time because we both feel that living with invisible diseases does NOT need to be hidden in some dark, dusty corners and spoken of in whispers.  No.  We both understand the pain of inflammatory diseases and what that brings to the table when people think “You look well.”  To be honest with you, I don’t remember what I said last time…but it was painful I know.  Raw.  Real.  And me.  Here it is:  Older Blog Talk Radio Interview  <<< so you can see the difference.

Thank you for always being here with me!  Namaste my friends.

HappinessHere is the link to 4 Weeks to Wellness.  I appreciate those of you who have already signed up and are giving me such great feedback after listening to me this morning!  You can leave a comment on this post if you would like!  Also see the work with me tab at the top of the blog for more!

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Motivational Monday…for the UNbroken

Hey friends…you know how last week on the Facebook fan page for my blog, I asked you a question?  I asked you to tell me what kind of “invisible disease” you had.  Many times, we feel so alone with these diseases, because they are in fact, not visible to people looking in at our lives.  But this statistic came from the link I posted: 96% of people with chronic medical conditions live with an illness that is invisible. 

I don’t really think we are alone.  So let’s say you didn’t get your disability and you have 5, maybe 6 illnesses on that list.  Guess what?  It happens.  I decided it meant something different.  I decided it meant that I was supposed to find a flexible job working from home and helping others.  Don’t be discouraged.  You have a few options.  You can continue the fight without a lawyer.  I have been told that’s why I never got anywhere.  You can get a lawyer.  Or you can move on.  Moving on is not giving up.  I just want to give you permission in case you needed to hear that.  I know all the excuses in your head.  I know all the what ifs.  But do not stay in that place of despair.  Make a plan.  Work on it.  Move on.

So now I am in yoga teacher training, and it’s hard.  Very, very hard emotionally and physically.  I doubt my path at times.  I do.  But as my friend said yesterday, okay really paraphrasing, if we didn’t have emotions or feelings we’d be like Data from Star Trek.  He was an android who was unable to feel emotion or understand certain human responses.  We don’t want to live like that.  So acknowledge the feelings you are having, and work the plan.  Whatever the plan is.  If you don’t have plan, write something down.  Just a few things.  It can be as simple as get out of bed, and get dressed.  Get to the store today.  Fibro friends, this is an important plan.  You know this.  Get out of your pajamas…says the blogger still in pajamas.  But you know what I’m talking about!!!  You do.

Next on your list, make a new friend.  Okay, this one is hard.  Why is this hard?  It is hard for people who feel alone, because opening ourselves up and getting vulnerable with new people is like going to a new doctor for us.  We hate having to start at the beginning and tell our story.  I know this.  You know this.  Stop ignoring this one.  So here’s how you can go about doing this.  Re-evaluate who is in your life right now.  Who checks in on you…who checked out on you.  Those people who checked out of your life during your hardest times, they have left you space for new people.  I know it sucks, believe me I do.  But it’s time to be honest.  Those people didn’t understand anyway.

So start a new practice.  Get your list out.  What did you like to do before all the bumps?  For me, I already liked yoga, so I looked into restorative, which was low-key.  I researched other types of exercises for fibromyalgia, and decided I didn’t feel like going to water aerobics, but if you like that, put that down.  if you liked gardening put it down.  Don’t think about the pain, I know you automatically went to “I can’t get down there and bend.” Stop.  So here’s a neat idea, look up community free classes or workshops in your area.  You can also container garden and not have to bend.  See how I did that?  Put it at eye level.  Flower arranging?  Do it.  Whatever it is that old you did, write it down.

So guess what’s going to happen during this process of thinking about other things that you now have room for in your life…you are going to make new friends.  You are going to feel better, and you are going to feel less alone.  Anytime you have a negative thought, push it away and back to the things you are doing that are positive.  That are a step in the right direction.  So when you get that letter in the mail from social security…don’t be afraid to open it.  Make a plan.

broken

Infinite loop…

Infinite LoopAn infinite loop can be described as a computer program which loops endlessly.  Having “no terminating condition” or “one that can never be met” or “one that causes the loop to start over”.  After three years, I think I have finally found the start of my infinite loop.  I have long suspected, as far back as the beginning of this blog, that something wasn’t adding up.  I have a good head for knowledge and research, and I know my own instincts.  They have not failed me yet.

Years ago when the pain started, I thought the doctors were missing all the key signs.  I just found them in this slide show about Fibromyalgia.  I had my suspicions, but looking at the very first slide just now, I wanted to cry.  It shows every spot that was triggered.  For those of you who have been here with me for a while, you’ll remember the post about my shoulder 3 years ago, then my spine.  The back of my neck was next, and this summer was my hip.

In the fall I started waking up not being able to move my fingers well in the morning, and honestly, just didn’t say anything.  What was the point?  Then my eyes started having some issues.  The ophthalmologist said it was severe allergy eyes.  Hmm.  I later learned that almost all of my friends with autoimmune issues have had eye problems as well.  I did not know that.  I already knew I had 16 of the 18 trigger points as this was not the first time I suspected that this could be the underlying cause; however, no doctor has ever looked further into it.  I realized years ago when someone touched my back to pat me and I stared daggers at them like they had just forcefully beat me on the back, that something was wrong.  I just thought “they” would find it.

Slide 5 is very interesting to me as it suggests that patients with fibro “experience pain in response to stimuli that are normally not perceived as painful.”  That would explain many things.  Then there was this piece “Researchers have found elevated levels of a nerve chemical signal, called substance P, and nerve growth factor in the spinal fluid of fibromyalgia patients.”  When all of this started, I told the doctor, a rheumatologist who was “well-known”, that I could feel every single place in my vertebral column.  I got a blank look.  I believe now that was the start of it.

The next slide that is of interest to me is slide 9.  “Patients with fibromyalgia lack the deep, restorative level of sleep, called ‘non-rapid eye movement’ (non-REM) sleep. Consequently, patients with fibromyalgia often awaken in the morning without feeling fully rested, even though they seem to have had an adequate number of hours of sleep time.”  This would explain why my hematologist looked at me like I had lost my mind when I said I am still fatigued all the time.  I suppose it would be too much for any of my doctors to coordinate on a treatment plan.

So what am I going to do about it now?  Well, after I see the next specialist a friend recommended as she uses this doctor for her own fibromyalgia care, I am going to move forward.  I am going to do some of these exercises as well.  I am going to look into Qigong exercises.  I am going to live again and know that while there is no cure, I am not alone.  Thank you to all who have been supportive of me during this journey.

Prosper

P.S.  I like to believe God is more like a father…one who leaves me notes.  One who is supportive and understanding.  YOU can believe whatever you want.