The Balanced Empath…7 Tools You Need Today!

The Balanced Empath...7 Tools You Need Today!As I scan my feed for just a second, something comes into my line of sight that potentially has energy attached to it that could disrupt my mood.  There are posts about pain, hurting people, animal cruelty and more, but whichever post gets my attention, I know that I have the power to choose how I am going to stay balanced.  It wasn’t always this way though.

I know that I can pick up on the vibrations, moods, auras, energy or however you want to explain it of other people.  What I didn’t realize long ago was that those energies can also be projected through social media and other forms of communication.  Prior to social media being the big thing, I think people had an easier time staying balanced.  However, let’s face it, we have to learn to adjust to the changing times.

Being an empath is hard enough as it is, but becoming one that stays in balance, well, at one time that seemed like a far off dream.  I would fluctuate between happiness, sadness, anger, peace, and calm all in one hour it would seem.  Maybe it was a little bit longer than that, but I know that three years ago, moods came on me like a heavy blanket trying to smother a raging fire.  What I was doing was being swept away in the blaze, and the little bit of control I had seemed non-existent.

I was suffering from anxiety, depression, pain and illness, and 2013 was the catalyst to me letting everything get out of control.  The final straw was in November of that year and by 2014, I had vowed to change everything I was doing.  I was the only one capable of changing things.

The 7 tools I used to create balance in my life:

  1. I started with my mental body (thoughts), and learned how to recognize what was not really mine.  I did this through a variety of ways, but the first thing I tried was meditation.  I wasn’t all that great in the beginning, but I kept at it and even found a local woman who would later become one of my dearest friends who taught guided meditation in a group.  I am so thankful for her guidance during that time.
  2. I learned more about how to stay in the present moment with mindfulnessIt sounds like a buzz word.  I know.  But I started to realize how much time I was spending in moments that would never change.  Time lost to sadness over things I could never possibly go back and fix.  National tragedies, curing cancer, animal cruelty, all those things, well, I could only start with the present moment and love the ones I had now, fix the ones I can, and help those who let me.  << Who let me.  I could not stay in the moment of unbearable sadness and mourn the loss of friends or family who passed too soon.  It was robbing me of this present moment.  Hell, even looking out the window at my daughter’s playhouse was robbing me of the present moment as I was getting sad thinking of times long gone.  So I started to change the way I was thinking and thank those moments and move into the present.  The playhouse disappeared with my blessing (as well as my daughters) and is becoming a new yoga shed.
  3. The mental body was in need of repair.  The pain and suffering of my illnesses had taken a toll on my physical body.  I decided to start restorative yoga, and then gradually move to Vinyasa yoga.  I still wasn’t convinced that it was going to be my thing, but then the decision was made for me and I became a yoga teacher after 200 hours of hard-core training.  I kicked in and gave it all I had, and spent many nights soaking in a tub with new pains, of my own making this time, and the weirdest thing happened.  The pains from the past 5 years started lessening.  I then became certified in yoga for arthritis and pain…and started teaching others that there was a new way to live.
  4. I learned how to ground and stay centered…which was something no one tells you about.  I connected to the breath, the earth and my center.  Centering is literally connecting to your core.  To your essence and really getting focused on your body.  So many times I had felt “floaty” or only half here.  I started using wonderful affirmations, visualization techniques and core rooting that really helped guide me through difficult times.
  5. I learned how to let go of energy that was not mine.  This was a freaking HARD lesson and it was a huge one baby.  You know that angry driver that cuts you off, the office worker who always lies, the boss who tells you what you want to hear?  Poof.  That’s theirs.  The things in the news feed that are evil, angry, and just plain not true?  I started learning how to rise above that kind of mentality and what it meant to truly call upon my own energy and release all the other stuff.  I was in control of what I allowed in.  << Huge lesson.
  6. I gave myself plenty of time to be human…and to forgive.  I was going to occasionally drop my newly created boundaries at times, and things were going to slip.  But I knew that within was a greater power to start back up again…kind of like that tire analogy.  Do you know the one?  Where they say if you have one flat tire, you aren’t going to get angry and slash the other four, right?  Right.  You start back over fixing the one that’s flat.  So I would do energy check-ins and see what had worn me down that day…or week.  Where did I have a leak and what did I need to fix?  What was working in my life?  What wasn’t working?  Same concepts I teach in my Club.
  7. I journaled about nearly everything I could and didn’t stop.  I learned how to dig deeper than I ever thought, how to rephrase the mind, how to shield and protect my energy, and best of all, how to let go of things.  I worked on my emotional well-being with this newly created form of journal therapy.  I worked on the inside and really concentrated on understanding my gifts.  If you are in need of some journal therapy and this post resonated with you, here is something you will love >>> Journaling for Empaths <<<

Highly Sensitive people really have to make an effort every day to realign to the present moment, so I hope these tips help you.  I really expand on them in the Journal for Empaths, and I know that it will be of great benefit to you personally.  Thank you again friends.  ~Aimee

How to Practice the Lost Art of Being Present

The Lost Art of Being Present“Mom!!  Can so and so have a ride, and such and such.  And can I go over to this person’s house later?  But first I need some new cleats…okay?  Oh and 40 snacks.  Like right now to take into band.  And I forgot to tell you we have to have people over to finish tie-dying these shirts.  And then can you take Person X back home because they don’t have a ride?”

Ohmmmm.  That was just one of my teens on one particular day this week.  I know that it sounds a bit frantic, and it can be, but so can grocery store shopping if you let the overwhelm get to you.  >> Check out my latest video on staying balanced over here <<< 

So the days of doing nothing, not having a cell phone, not having to feel connected to a device are long gone (perhaps).  However, you can inject mindful moments into your day by practicing being present.

This might be a typical experience in your mind Present moment thought. Past. Past. Past. FUTURE! FUTURE! Present moment thought.  It’s kind of like scrolling through your feed, right?  Checking your social media, and then deciding what you want to click the like or love on.  I would like you to practice the lost art of being present consistently, for one week, before you scroll onto something else.

How?  Your mind screams.  Why should I?  Your mind also thinks.  This is the kind of stuff those “yoga” people do.  I just don’t know if I can do it.  Well, before I was one of those yoga people, I was trapped in so many patterns of over thinking that my thoughts were just like ping-pong balls.  I was exhausted from over thinking because I was time traveling everyday without the Tardis.  Seriously.  If you don’t believe me, try this.

There is only one time that is important – NOW! It is the most important time because it is the only time that we have any power.  Leo Tolstoy

How to Practice Being Present:

  1. Take out your tiny notebook and write P for past, N for now, and then F for future.  Using little tick marks, start tallying your thoughts.  Yes, it might be a lot of work to do in one day, but try it for one day.  Which column had the highest score?  You are going to be very surprised.  You spend more time in other moments even if you start thinking about paying a bill in the future, what are you going to cook for dinner, what do you need from the store, I can’t believe that guy just cut me off in traffic, my boss is a ___ for treating me ___ in the meeting, I have to get 40 snacks, and so on.
  2. Notice your activities.  This might surprise you, but you struggle because you also are judging yourself.  So don’t judge how you are being in your activities, just start to notice what you are doing.  As you garden, start to notice the dirt shifting around your hand or garden spade.  As you come into a new yoga class, don’t notice what anyone else is doing, just focus on the way your body feels on the mat.  As you are walking, start to notice the way your foot moves on the path, and how you are breathing.  Are you breathing shallowly because you are overthinking?  Notice, observe and shift back into the present moment.
  3. The present moment has arrived.  There is no guess work as to what is happening right now.  We already know it.  So practice during one of your normal routines like eating lunch.  Just notice the way you make your sandwich or even your kids sandwiches.  Put music on and listen as you work.  Be fully present so much so that other people’s energy does not throw you off.  That becomes the key which only you hold.  There is only room for your energy as you stay present.  What other people are doing with their frantic thoughts, which then spirals out, can’t really bother you if you are staying present.  You start to become an observer of what is happening. 
  4. Triggers will become apparent in this way.  As you notice your energy, you will start to observe which friend, colleague, child, neighbor, etc, are using old mechanisms to trigger you.  They have learned that behavior as well, particularly anyone who wants to ruffle your feathers.  I will use myself as an example.  I value honesty as one of the top qualities a person can have.  Dishonesty triggers a wave of energy that will result in anger if I don’t ride it out and then breathe deeply.  This includes using tactics of “omission” from my darling kids.  So I have discussed full examples of this so that “Hulk Mom” doesn’t come out.  Instead of worrying, I proactively explained what will happen.  This helps work around a possible trigger.

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.  Buddha

If you are interested in learning more about staying present, learning how to focus on your own energy, and harness your inner power, I invite you to try my Club out for a month >>> The Club with Soul.  <<<

How to Practice the Lost Art of Being Present

 

 

An Empath’s Guide to a Great Year!

You have probably read this article before if you are a regular reader here.  <<< The article shares what an Empath is and what we might notice that makes us a bit different as told from my personal experience. 

As we begin to wind down the year, we might have been struggling a bit if we have been in contact with too many people.  I know I have.  I just wrote about our boundaries and why that is so important, so if you missed that, you can take a look at the previous post after reading this.  But now it’s important to focus on the word “renew” as we start the new year.

Here are a few tips to start your year off feeling balanced:

  1. Click into your body as often as possible.  Imagine that you are about to get in the car.  When you feel yourself being absorbed by other people’s emotions or you have spaced out to a new level, visualize clicking back in.  You can even use seat belt imagery if it helps and see yourself “strapped” in to the present moment.  Link your breathing to the present for a space of 3 breaths by just repeating “I am breathing in…I am breathing out.”  Keep doing this as often as possible when you are around others and you feel yourself being pulled or drained.  You can even remind yourself of this each time you use the seat belt!
  2. Keep calm, and re-tune.  You have just been doing 3 or 4 things at once and start to realize there is way too much going on in your head.  You are sad about that animal video a friend posted on malnourished creatures…seriously people stop posting those.  << unfollow.  You have just seen a friend rant for the 4th time and use abbreviations like FML << hide post.  You are worried about your friend who is posting really enigmatic posts and won’t say anything at all about what is going on.  << you have to realize, that is clearly their stuff.  The best thing for you to do when all this information is out there in your social media feed, life and then your head, is to keep calm and really re-tune your body.  The people in your life don’t realize what this does to you, so in order to stay balanced, get to yoga, meditate, pray, or turn everything off and get outside.  You can also, ohhhh journal with me🙂  Turn on some calming music, your candles or diffuser, and zone out into your stuff, not theirs!!
  3. Don’t borrow problems!  Steps one and two are needed, so after you have clicked in, checked back into your own life, it is important to take note of how you feel after spending time with someone.  Are you angry?  Hostile?  Depressed?  Feel like Eeyore???  I had this one friend that left me so dark and gloomy that I had convinced myself that life really did suck.  It took me a very long time of emotionally bathing to rid myself of things that were not mine.  Yoga helped me tremendously as well as meditation.  I then developed my own series of journal questions to use on myself as well as other tools and I quickly realized that I was unpacking other people’s issues…and I did not want that at all.
  4. Surround yourself with the people who LIFT you up.  I just finished the FB live talk last week about this on the page under videos.  <<< for later.  But man oh man, do you need to be a lift force and surround yourself with others who can and will do the same for you.  If you have no one who is like this in your life right now, I invite you to check out my new closed group for the new year.  It is called the Head|Heart|Health Club and it does practice what it preaches.  Each month there will be new content, and you get to keep all the materials for the month you have purchased.  Worksheets, journal questions, tips, videos and more, but I had hundreds of people asking me for a place with good energy, and so my friends, I have made it.

Ultimately, if you do only these 4 things, you will start your new year off right and feel better about the choices you are making.  There are additional materials here on the blog for grounding and protecting yourself from negative energy, but remember, one of the most important tips is to be aware that not everyone is going to understand how much you need a clear and pure energy vibration that is truly lifting you up.  It is up to you to seek out those who make you feel relaxed, calm, and can respect your boundaries.

Want more tips?  Check out the Empath’s Journaling Guide.<<<

Save

How To Release Yourself from Your Past: 7 Tested Ways

Guest post by: Zane Baker

How To Release Yourself from Your Past: 7 Tested Ways

Who doesn’t have a past?

That’s the million dollar question!

Each one of us has a past. Most likely you have experienced your fair share of wonderful memories and very exciting moments that you are bound to keep with you for eternity.

However, you’ve also likely been through situations that were not only challenging, but also full of pain and heartache.

In this regard, there are some aspects of your past that were particularly difficult, which is very common.

You may, therefore, find yourself feeling guilty about some of the things you have said, done or failed to do.

If you want to move on, away from such painful memories, then you have to put the past behind you.

To succeed, you must put lots of effort and hard work.  This is important because it is impossible to have any healthy or effective relationship with yourself or with others if you are living in the past.

You must, therefore, make some concerted effort to not only focus on the now and here, but also on the future that you are keen on creating.  You do that by immediately making the decision to leave your past behind and take the necessary steps and start living in the present.

In doing so, you will, without a doubt, notice that your confidence will soar and you will also experience healthier and happier relationships which will not only bring great rewards to your life but also to your loved ones and those that you closely associate with.

To help you succeed in this important endeavor, here are some important tips on how to release yourself from your past: 7 tested ways.

Lets begin:

1. Don’t deny your past

The first and the most important step you should take is to accept your past. You must be able to face up to the past and acknowledge whatever happened. It is unwise to pretend that nothing happened or hope that you shall after some time forget whatever transpired. This though should not be mistaken to mean that you have to dwell constantly on it, to the contrary, you should not continuously blame yourself over it. You should make sure though that you take your lessons from that particular experience and view it as a learning experience.

2. Don’t underestimate your achievements

Always keep in mind that whenever you spend an inordinate amount of time regretting your past, you are continuously diminishing and ignoring all the positive achievements that you have made or attained during the same period and in the present. This is mainly because you are giving recognition and credit only to your past mistakes. You should ensure that you constantly and consistently focus on your achievements and not solely on your mistakes. Focusing on your mistakes not only makes them bigger but also gives them the power to control your life as well as your actions. To assist you in this task, you can make a point of writing down your achievements on a piece of paper or notebook, and when you are feeling low or overwhelmed, you can quickly go through them and get some encouragement.

3. Don’t miss or forget the lessons learned from your past mistakes

Unfortunately, for many of us, our mistakes are how we constantly tend to define ourselves. In this regard, it is vital that we keep on reminding ourselves that our mistakes aren’t who we are. However, it is important to pick the lessons you have learned from past experiences. However, positive or negative the experience may be. You should be fully aware that life generally tests us first and then teaches us the requisite lessons later. Your mistakes are part of the learning process in life and should be considered as such. Make sure you use the messages in your past to construct a future that’s not only happy and rich but also successful. As one writer aptly puts it, “A man’s mistakes are his portals of discovery.”

4. Avoid negative thoughts or cynicism

When something goes wrong, we always tend to take a more catastrophic way of thinking, often feeling or thinking that a single bad experience implies that our whole life is in shambles and completely ruined. However, nothing could be further from the truth. No matter what goes wrong, always keep in mind that you have the innate strength and ability to rebuild your life and get back on the right track. Even though it is true that you cannot be devoid of negative thoughts, always make a point of challenging any negative thoughts that pop up.

5. Learn to forgive so that you can move forward

Many times, we tend to hold ourselves hostage by failing to not only forgive ourselves for past indiscretions. These indiscretions may have been caused by us or brought upon us by other people. To move forward, you must let go of the pain and hurt that’s been holding you back. By learning to forgive, you will be able to move freely ahead without any hindrances whatsoever as your mind will be free of the baggage that such negative feelings tend to bring about. As a matter of fact, forgiving any past transgressions does you more good than anyone else. Learn to let go so that you can live freely and be able to channel your positive energy and thoughts to some other important aspects of your life.

6. Seek support whenever necessary

No man or a woman is an island. We all need support from time to time; this is especially so if you are facing a difficult past. The support you seek may come in different forms; you can get support from close friends and family members or seek professional help to assist you in working through your past and releasing the negative thoughts and feelings. Always keep in mind that seeking support and help is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, this is a sign of great strength since it shows that you appreciate and know that you need to reach out to others for some assistance.

7. Use your past mistakes to assist others

All of us have things in our past that make us feel low and ashamed from time to time. Don’t let these feelings keep you from forging a new future. As many people will acknowledge, one of the best ways or methods of getting over an issue or a problem is to share your experience with others. You should use your past experiences to assist others who find themselves in similar situations. Using what you are ashamed of to help others is without doubt one of the most effective ways of not helping others tackle the problem at hand but also strengthening your resolve to be a better person in the future.

In conclusion, by applying the tips mentioned above, it is possible to let go of your past successfully.

It does though demand some effort and focus on your part, but it can be done since you have the innate power inside you to embrace a new beginning and start your life afresh.

I hope you enjoyed this article! Please share the knowledge and help a fellow friend or family member benefit from this article.

Till we meet again, have a fabulous day!

With Love,
Zane

Zane Baker is a Master Success Coach & Inspirational Speaker.  He’s also the Co-Founder of The Valhalla Mind Institute & The My Daily Zen Transformational Programs.  Zane serves over 150 thousand subscribers & followers with his free newsletter & personal growth advice on his Facebook page.  His top rated meditation track is available here “The Vision Quest”.  And you can visit his blog at www.ValhallaMind.com

7 Brilliant Ways to Get Rid of Stress

I bet that you didn’t want to start your week off the way it happened.  But there it is.  Nothing you can do about it.  You forgot a major timeline…or you got sick and missed an important meeting.  Whatever it is, it has you feeling stressed and it’s only the start of your work week.  Because you are stressed out, you start to feel anxious as well.  Which then leads into all sorts of scenarios in your head.  You know your boss is looking at you funny.  What?  Why is everyone in the workroom laughing except they got quiet when you walked in?  Ack.  Your boss thinks you are an idiot.  Chances are, none of these things are true.  But what if they are?  Really?

7 Brilliant Ways to Get Rid of Stress

 

  1. Stop taking things so personally.  Maybe, just maybe, the people in the workroom were laughing at the fact that they were about to surprise you with a party.  Okay, it could happen.  But even if they were laughing at you, who cares?  Yes, you do.  I know that.  Now think about this, this is not a reflection of your actions.  It is a reflection of theirs.  Be polite.  Be professional.  Move on.
  2. Stay in the present moment.  Don’t create a story or a situation that was never there to begin with because that’s how you become your biggest enemy.  I know that you might feel stress creeping up so what if you shifted your attention out of worst case scenario mode and went back to the task at hand?  Always allow your thoughts to pass by, inspect them, and carry on with the present moment.  Here is my friend’s article on releasing anger with her affirmations.
  3. Work out and move your body!  I was doing research for the new yoga flow that I am creating for a workshop, and it said that one of the top ways to remove and release stress was through yoga.  Of course that doesn’t surprise me, so see my previous articles on 3 simple exercises to keep you fit or 10 yoga tips for beginners.
  4. Spend time with your loved ones.  Sometimes, when it’s quitting time, it’s best to quit and go on home.  Your work will be there.  You only have one life and this isn’t a test.  Play some loud music on the way home that you love, unwind, and by the time you get home, try very hard to stay in the present moment there too.
  5. Unplug and unwind.  This one is really hard.  I know it.  it has proven to be difficult for me as well.  I am very thankful for our family vacations away from people…and things…in the mountains.  With literally no service.  No tech.  No T.V.  I know right?  Sounds amazing.
  6. Find your quiet place.  Which brings me to this one, and I know you are thinking you can’t find time to do this, but find time to meditate, journal, take a bath, or do something that you can really focus on in peace and quiet.  Yes, even you new moms can do this!  You really need to make this part of your routine.
  7. Prepare for your next day.  We always all get ready by picking out our clothes, and not having to rush.  Take a minute to do a list of things before you leave the office, home office, school, etc, and when you get in, it will be there to focus you.  That way, you leave it there where it belongs.  Don’t take it home with you.  You can find balance in your work and life.  This leads you on a better path to wellness!

Still feel like you need help?  Sign up for my 4 Weeks to Wellness course OR get help in a closed support group.

moment

Save

5 Ways to Relax…

Ring.  Ring.  Buzz.  Beep.  Bloop.  What’s all that?  Oh it’s your devices going off.  Deadlines are coming up.  You are stressed out.  Stress leads to sickness.  So take a minute to re-charge without feeling guilty because in the long run, you will be much better off.

How do I relax?

1. Go to your happy place.   Where’s my happy place?  If you don’t know, chances are you need to relax.  For me, it’s the beach.  Since I live near there, I can go stick my feet in the sand and relax.  But it could easily be a hammock, a favorite restaurant, a movie, a good book, or just closing my eyes for a few minutes thinking about my children, husband and dachshunds.  Or perhaps a massage in Jamaica.  Whatever:)
2. Listen to music.  I have eclectic taste in music.  Okay, fine, I listen to old music mostly.  However, I have songs that bring about happy feelings, so they relax me.  I can just put on some Rusted Root and send me on my way to my happy place.  I can listen to Celtic inspired music and dream about the day I actually get to go to Ireland.  And Bob Marley and his birds, well, I need them to remind me about the joys of little things.
3. Breathe deeply and be present.  Unfortunately, this one is my nemesis.  I work on staying present, but it’s like this giant battle in my head.  “Oh look.  It’s the past.  Let’s go there.”  Or “Hey, let’s go down this path to worry.  You like it a lot.”  Noooo.  Not there.  Path to now.  Let’s stay on that path.  “Wait, a bunny.  It’s leading me to what if?”  WHAT IF??  No.  Absolutely don’t follow the bunny.  Bad bunny.  Trying to take me down the rabbit hole.
4. Unplug from devices.  Bzzz.  Beep.  Bling.  Message.  Text.  Call.  Notifications x 100.  Groups.  FB status.  E-mail.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.  Stop the insanity!  That’s why for family vacations, people might be extremely surprised to find out the social media gal, that’s me, goes away to state parks that don’t have internet or any connection to the outside world.  Muhaha.  And if you are that person who has tried to remove Facebook from your phone for the third time…but re-installs it.  Or deletes their profile…and gets back on.  Well, at least you tried.
5. Get moving!  Honestly, this is the best.  I do “the yoga” to relax.  It helps me get into my flow, which I have mentioned before, is my moving meditation.  It is the way I truly and fully live in the now.  I listen to the teacher and focus only on me.  I don’t care what you are doing in the class, I really am focused on me.  Sometimes, I might make a joke under my breath that others close by might hear as I talk myself through a pose…but I am truly only thinking about the present moment.  I am trying not to talk to myself as much about my short comings…but working alone, I spend lots of time in my head.   That’s why this one is the best for me!!

5 ways to relax

3 habits to start…

3 habits

Over the weekend, I completed my 200 hours of Yoga Teacher Training.  There was much to take away, but the top three things that I would like to pass on, I listed above.

3 Habits to Start

1. Filter your thoughts.  What does this mean exactly?  I want you to wrap your head around this…we think approximately 50,000-70,000 thoughts per day.  This means between 35-48 thoughts per minute…hmm.  Bad news first: what we know about the brain is that repetition in the firing of neural circuits tends to strengthen those circuits.  So that the more you ruminate, obsess, or recycle,  the stronger the ruminating circuit gets.  Which brings me to my next point.

2. Replace the negative with the positive.  If you learn to recognize when you are creating this pathway to the negative, you can shift your thoughts.  That’s right…you can.  So we begin to notice when the same old thoughts of low self-esteem, feelings of unworthiness, anger, pain, or even depression start to take hold of our mind.  You start to recognize if you are actually repeating the same story in your head from days, weeks, months or even years.  It is now got its own little path, maybe even a deep ravine from going there so often.  Let’s go somewhere new.  How about let’s build a beach house and visit that place.  Don’t let your thoughts be the driver…you can take control.  How to do this?  Aha!  This brings me to my next point:)

3. Realign with the present moment…repeatedly.  I recently read that we are in the present for about 3 seconds of every thought.  Supposedly, we are either in the past or future for the rest of the time.  The problem is…it’s basically true.  I took a look around me at my daughter’s graduation ceremony…okay, it was from middle school, but still, at least 3 people closest to me were on their phones.  Not engaged in the present moment.  And just yesterday at lunch I was present, present, present…got a message on my phone, and boom.  I was no longer there.  I should not have checked it…I actually knew that.  Yet somehow I did.  I would love to make a new rule that someone keeps it for me the whole time I am with them at a meal…and I keep theirs.HA.  Let’s try not to stab each other with the fork over who gets to look first.  Let’s really think about it and honor the present.  We live in it so very little.

I want you to seriously take a moment and do a reflection on this.
If you are thinking the same thoughts as last year, doing the same things, and continuing the same habits, are you making progress?  It’s doubtful.  Get ready to make some new pathways and start some good habits today!

5 ways to find your zen.

Zen habits

There are times in your life when you need to just breathe…or scream.  Screaming is not appropriate at work though, so we need to find other ways to manage our stress.  This is always easier said than done.  We worry, fret, and work ourselves into a tizzy over something that might happen.  We ponder, speculate, and look for hidden meanings in the words of everyone around us.  Life would be much easier if people just said what they meant…well, maybe.  I know I work better that way, but perhaps not everyone does.  In the meantime, we need to work with what we are given.  This applies to all aspects of life, not just work.

5 ways to find your zen:

  1. Focus on the task at hand.  I realize this is easier said than done, but if you really work to train your mind on the task at hand, we can get into our flow.  We actually can shift the way we think and remove the obstacles we place in our minds.  We are moving away from distractions and really focusing on what’s in front of us.
  2. All in.  Are you all in or only sort of here?  Be present.  In order to be in the present moment, you have to really pull your thoughts back.  Think of your thoughts moving continuously like a river.  That is the basis of flow.  The ego falls away and you are in the moment.  It is almost like timelessness.  The end of the day comes and you got so much done that you didn’t even realize you were in flow.  That’s how I feel in yoga.  I am in my flow.  Flow experiences can occur in different way for different people, but we have strong concentration during the task.
  3.   Rest.  Sometimes, you need a break after a long stretch of working on things.  This is something I have a problem with and I am learning to let go.  After being in my flow, I know that if I stop, it takes me longer to recover than most people.  I learned I need to set a timer since I work from home.  In an office setting, you can get up and stretch your legs.  Get a coffee.  At home, I tend to just get back to work.  It’s very important to remember everyone needs a break too…even if you are the boss.
  4. Simplify your workspace.  Do you every find yourself looking for things and they were under piles of paper?  Do you not know important dates because you have a calendar system that’s messy and difficult?  Work to simplify things.  Don’t over book yourself.  Keep meetings to the point.  Keep your desk neat and tidy.  Work on diving up your task into smaller, easier to handle chunks.  If you work from home, do the same thing.  Keep an orderly space.  It helps clear the mind.
  5. Let go of that which does not serve you.  This is my favorite one.  Gossip?  Does not serve you in any way shape or form.  Let it go.  Truthfulness?  Yes.  It serves to make your life easier.  Weigh your responses before answering.  Jealousy over what others have?  Does not serve you again.  Gratitude for what you have serves you much better and brings about more happiness.  Too many possessions?  Clutter?  Thank the items and give them to someone who needs them.  This is way we create space for things we need to come into our lives.  Remember, if it doesn’t do you any good, you don’t need to focus on it in your life.  Period.

My good friend said to me “What other people think of me is none of my business.”  I loved that line and made her repeat it.  I instantly thought of ways to apply that to my life.  The next time someone says something snippy to me, I will breathe in and out and maybe even make the “ohmmm” sound in my mind as they are speaking.  Knowing me, I might even say it out loud until it annoys them.  Zen is the practice of “not doing”.  You are not reacting to things around you when the world might be in chaos.  You need to still the thoughts that are going on in your head and think about the bigger picture.

 “Life is short.  Time is fleeting.  Realize the self.  Purity of heart is the gateway to God.  Aspire.  Renounce.  Meditate.  Be good; do good.  Be kind; be compassionate.  Inquire, know Thyself.”

~Swami Sivananda

The 6 things you need to know today.

Every once in a while, we get in a “rut”.  We feel as if we are not going anywhere and that our situation will never change.  I’m here to tell you it can and it will.  Just by implementing a few strategies, your life can change drastically…for the better.  We are works in progress and our job here is not done…yet.

The 6 things you need to know today.

  1. Money will not make you happy.  Okay, I know you are thinking “I’d be really happy if I won the lottery!!”  I would be happy too, but I’m not going to arrange my life around money.  I’m going to arrange my life around my passion, and once I am doing something I love, the money will come.  It will.  I am actually doing what I love right now.
  2. Be you. The choices others make in no way shape or form define who you are.  So they think you are making a mistake doing x,y and z.  That’s on them, not you.  Be around people who lift you up not bring you down.  Be true to you.
  3. Live in the present.  If this was your only take-away from this post, I would be happy.  Put the damn phone DOWN.  Step away.  I know that I am working on this one too…so you can comment if you have solved this, but I love the post that is on Facebook about the group of people out to dinner and the phones are in the middle.  The first one to reach for their phone pays for the meal.  Ta-dah.  Being present and accountable!  It’s a win-win.  Even if the conversation around you is not something you can contribute to, being fully aware of the moment is important to us all. 
  4. Take risks.  Never apologize for taking a chance.  A risk.  For stepping out on that limb even if you hear a crack.  Because the bottom line is…you would have always wondered “what if” and now you don’t have to live with that.  There is a chance your choice could be just what you were looking for.  It might even be life-changing.
  5. Happiness depends on you.  There is no magical castle where they give out happiness wands just for visiting…or magic beans.  You have to work hard at deciding what you will let in and what you want to keep out.  For me, this is always a work in progress as I do pick up on the moods of others, but it’s my choice what I let in.  Mine and mine alone.  Choosing another way takes practice.  Focusing on the good I have in my life works wonders.
  6. Love.  You know, as a child, I don’t remember random people telling me that they loved me.  I don’t remember friends telling me that either…until I became an adult.  Why is it so hard to think in terms of love?  We are humans doing the best we can.  We make mistakes.  We fail.  We cry.  We hurt.  We get hurt by other people.  We are simply trying to navigate some pretty hard storms at times and it’s okay to say “I love you.  I made a mistake.  I am here for you.”  If you haven’t said this someone today, try it and see what happens.  P.S.  I love you for being here today and truly taking the time to read this.

wish

Motivational Monday…my surprise

Hey y’all!  Guess what?  People seem to like me!!  I have friends:)  So this weekend was a certain erm birthday.  My husband isn’t known for planning things.  That isn’t his fault necessarily…it’s just the way things are.  However, in my family, birthdays have always been a big deal.  So my mom planned to take me shopping…and everyone came along.  The kids, my dad and good ole’ hubby.

We went to the outlets…but it was like they were giving away free puppies or something.  So it wasn’t really a good idea.  I did enjoy myself in one store, but after that, I was like, oh yeah, this is why I do not shop.  I don’t.  I can’t stand the commercialization of things.  Lines out the door just to get $5 off or whatever.  Maybe you all like it, but meh.  I don’t.

So anyway, it was all they could do to keep me out to a certain time.  But when we finished dinner, I told them I was coming home to put on my special comfy jammies…I bought myself for my birthday.  Shh.  I did.  I bought erm these like snuggie, zip up long john things.  Hahahaha.  But seriously.  I did.

MeProof.

But surprise!!  People were coming over to my house…and some were already in my house.  And it was wonderful because they had food and things.  Ok, they had wine.  But the food was gluten-free and that was oh so thoughtful that they went to that kind of trouble for little ole me.  But I had to stay in real clothes…but that was ok.  We had a fire pit and we talked.  I miss talking to people.  I did pick up my phone to snap a few photos, but really almost forgot to do that.  So I appreciate the party because it was about being real again.  Talking and being in the moment.  The one that is right now.  Now tomorrow, or a few days from now, or I have to do x,y,z because x, y, z will be there.  Please connect in the here and now with your peeps.  They will be ever so thankful and appreciative…and grateful.

Friends

And they will be really HAPPY.

Save