5 Tips For Picking Yourself Back Up Again.

5 tips for picking yourself back up againI sat with my head in my hands and I thought “I don’t know how to write anything today, but people need me.”  I said that yesterday too as I did the brief healing Live chat.  And I thought it the day before right as I went on to be interviewed live from my business mentor in England.

Last week my feed was up and down on social media (when is it not, really?), and I said to myself “Aimee, don’t get involved with this stupidity.  Move on.”  I don’t listen to myself because I have this inner sense of if I can help, I am going to say something.  So I just told two people to knock off the arguing on public forums, go have a coffee and a hug.  They were better than that.

So do you feel close to an emotional melt-down this week?  Have you already had one?  As we fluctuate between feeling good and then feeling low, depending on the stimulus of our environment, I want you to really step back and become an observer as best you can.  Picking yourself up again over and over can be a process that wears you out.  So how can we do it and maintain that level of balance of balance in life?

5 Tips For Picking Yourself Back Up Again (and staying there):

  1. Do the impossible.  Pause.  I know that we all wish we had a pause button, but I want you to operate as if you had a remote with you at all times.  I did this yesterday and it was right before I made the decision to go ahead and read something that would upset me, but it was time to get it over with and then feel it.  I paused knowing that I needed to just get it over with, read it, process it as best I could, and move on.
  2. Allow yourself to let it out.  So there I was, in my sweaty yoga clothes, knowing that it was time to feel sadness, but that after I got it all out, I was going to go get cleaned up and move on.  I couldn’t allow myself to stay there, make a blanket fort, and hide out with a bar of chocolate and reruns of the Gilmore Girls.  Hoping that this time, Rory says yes to Logan.  Whatever your go-to thing is, running, yoga, journaling, do whatever it is you need to do to let it all out at that time.  Then step back, take a look at your emotions all out there and think “There.  That wasn’t that bad.”  And move on.  << tips for later on moving forward
  3. Mini-goals are key.  I teach the methods of mindfulness, pausing, and setting yourself up for success by choosing small, achievable goals.  Think baby steps.  Each new month, my Club starts off with what we want to achieve this month.  So say you had a set-back that was at work.  The boss gave you a task and you just dropped the ball.  Think about what happened in terms of small goals.  Did you put dates on the calendar for when things should be done?  Did you write yourself sticky notes that you could crumble up satisfyingly (I like to do that)?  Or make a list that you could strike things off when completed?  I secretly do this as well.  How are you organizing your planner for success?  I also teach this in my wellness course as it’s important for exercise, weight loss and so much more.
  4. Give thanks.  This is probably harder than any of the other tasks because you are down there in the depths of despair and you are feeling alone, isolated perhaps, and maybe even misunderstood.  I want you to take 3 deep breaths and place your hand on your heart with each breath.  Do you feel that?  That’s connection.  You are connected to a greater purpose and you have a new chance to get back up again.  Gratitude can actually interrupt patterns of anxiety.  If you don’t know how to begin a gratitude practice, I invite you to start a journal. << tips for later on how to start
  5. Rest.  Unplug.  I know that feel like we have to stay connected to the world, but sometimes, unplugging and going to bed early is the best thing for our bodies.  Take a bath, read a book, journal, but make it a point to do something good for you.  Getting a good night’s sleep can help you see things in a better light.

In a world that is constantly sending us too many signals, some of us more than ever need to create that safe space to relax and unwind.  If you are highly sensitive, make sure you are surrounding yourself with the types of energies you want to attract in your life that will help you fill up your cup.  If you are looking for a place that supports you, helps you with daily prompts, a closed group, and 24/7 access to journaling, mindful tips, meditation and bonus yoga poses (that are chair friendly), check out the Head|Heart|Health Club << We’d love to have you.

Don’t stop…believing

If life were a person, I would slap him or her.  Hard.  So let me back up.  Friday night I went out to chat with some friends I hadn’t seen in a long time.  My buddy is an awesome photographer and has worked on some pretty cool things out west and was in town.  I’d put his link here except for the fact that he is super private, and I didn’t tell him I was writing this.  Ha.  Anyway, the night before I was talking about all my old friends and it occurred to me that most of them were guys.  We were like Wheelie and the Chopper Bunch…and we rode our bikes around, well bicycles, but still.  Later on, in high school, some had cars and perhaps one in particular was old enough to pass for 21 at the 7-11.

Everyone has that one friend, ha, who perhaps buys things like ohhh I don’t know, Boone’s Farm maybe.  Not judging the 80’s or 90’s are you?  No.   Anyway, so we were sitting around telling stories and it was nice.  It was nice to see how we can change, but remain the same at heart.  I always knew they were good guys and so when I heard one of them was coming into town, I knew I couldn’t wait until the next time.  A lot can happen through the years.  As we got a round of beverages, we raised our pints to a friend who was no longer with us.  We talked a bit about how we were still kind of mad at him for not reaching out (I actually wrote about this when it happened last year).  We lost a good man to a fight he could have beat…depression was the enemy and if we had known, surely we could have changed the tide on that battlefield.

Don’t stop believing that other people care about you.

So this year my brother’s circle of friends have learned about that as well.  Yesterday, my brother lost a friend to hopelessness and surely her friends are saying the same thing.  It’s too fresh right now, but in a year her friends will probably still be mad.  Her friends will be telling the stories of things they did.  And her friends will look at each other and make the kind of eye contact that says, I’m glad you’re here friend to talk about this with me.  Don’t hide how you feel when this happens.  Get it out.  Reach out to who is left behind.  And don’t stop believing that your life is worth fighting for at all costs.  Don’t end your chapter right as your luck was about to change.  DON’T.  Because your friends will be lifting a pint to you after all and saying how much they miss you.  Instead of that, be there with them.  Clinking the glass and saying I am so glad I have you all.  I am glad I called you that day.

Cherish

New things…

As this year comes to a close, I reflect on the “new” and would personally like to burn the “old”.  Oh not old friendships or anything like that, but I chose not to dwell in the past as it’s over and we have to take this minute by the hand and hold on for dear life before something tragic happens and the moment is gone.  There have been some horrible things happening in and around my friend’s lives this year and I let it get to me at times.  I have said this before, but when something happens, I actually place myself in that person’s shoes for a minute.  I zone out, and become them for a second.  I imagine what it must feel like to get the news they just heard, or to go through whatever they are going through.  I have tried to stop this process…much like that new movie that is coming out based on an old short story called The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

So far, I have not been very successful.  There was cancer news, deaths of family members and friends, deaths of pets, depression, divorce, loss of homes, illnesses that tear you a part from the inside out, injuries, debt, and the suicide of a high school friend.  I am sure I am forgetting some bad news, but that is why I say I would like to burn the old.  I have held on to my hope as best I could for this year, but another sad thing happened to my brother’s friend on Christmas day.

What I am doing now is pushing through all of that and focusing on my new goals.  Making new friends with the same goals makes my work easier.  Realizing that I know what I want, on the cusp of what will be year 40, yes, that year, does not scare me (getting asked for my ID might help me be less scared, ha).  So I’m going to tell you what I said to my daughter the other day while pumping gas.  I said I want to be financially secure enough to hand out gift cards to people I don’t know, with no strings attached, so that they can buy whatever they need.  Groceries, presents, gas, or just pay doctor bills.  My work with people of poverty reminds me that we still have much to do for those who have fallen on hard times.  One day, I hope to be able to ease someone’s burden.  One day soon.

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New things…

As this year comes to a close, I reflect on the “new” and would personally like to burn the “old”.  Oh not old friendships or anything like that, but I chose not to dwell in the past as it’s over and we have to take this minute by the hand and hold on for dear life before something tragic happens and the moment is gone.  There have been some horrible things happening in and around my friend’s lives this year and I let it get to me at times.  I have said this before, but when something happens, I actually place myself in that person’s shoes for a minute.  I zone out, and become them for a second.  I imagine what it must feel like to get the news they just heard, or to go through whatever they are going through.  I have tried to stop this process…much like that new movie that is coming out based on an old short story called The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

So far, I have not been very successful.  There was cancer news, deaths of family members and friends, deaths of pets, depression, divorce, loss of homes, illnesses that tear you a part from the inside out, injuries, debt, and the suicide of a high school friend.  I am sure I am forgetting some bad news, but that is why I say I would like to burn the old.  I have held on to my hope as best I could for this year, but another sad thing happened to my brother’s friend on Christmas day.

What I am doing now is pushing through all of that and focusing on my new goals.  Making new friends with the same goals makes my work easier.  Realizing that I know what I want, on the cusp of what will be year 40, yes, that year, does not scare me (getting asked for my ID might help me be less scared, ha).  So I’m going to tell you what I said to my daughter the other day while pumping gas.  I said I want to be financially secure enough to hand out gift cards to people I don’t know, with no strings attached, so that they can buy whatever they need.  Groceries, presents, gas, or just pay doctor bills.  My work with people of poverty reminds me that we still have much to do for those who have fallen on hard times.  One day, I hope to be able to ease someone’s burden.  One day soon.

 

Author’s note:  It is now a few years later.  I gave out lots of different things to people this year in order to be of service to humanity.  I have also developed my own coaching programs to help others, and I am more financially secure than I have been in years.  My Head|Heart|Health Club is going to be taking a great journey this year to look at what we need to change, what we want to create and how we can create more abundance in our lives as well.  I would love to see you there!

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All clear…

So, I’m not sure how many of you watch the TV show Parenthood, but I love it.  The couple I identify with has 3 children (I do not) and one of them just went off to college.  Again, not me, but the way the husband and wife work together as a team to tackle whatever is going on in their family reminds me of how lucky I am to have the same thing.  Last episode, they got a puppy and on the same day the mom appears to be getting a mammogram.  She waits in the office to get her results (it did not happen that way for me) and it appears to be bad news.  I want to share with you the rest of my story.

I went to get my yearly exam as I posted before, and got bad news.  There was a spot that concerned them, and they scheduled me for a re-check.  It was not going to be for 2 more weeks, so I went to a different place on the morning of the first day of school.  They still were not happy with the image, and did tell me that right there, so I had to make another appointment for a biopsy.  I came to work a mess, but I had to pull it together.  I made the appointment and had to wait another week.

Apparently, my husband was a mess too, but I didn’t realize that.  He kept calm like usual and we faced it together.  I did have a few morbid conversations with him, but they needed to be had.  The morning of the procedure came and he drove me.  It took much longer than I expected and I didn’t realize we were carving a turkey.  If you have not had to have a biopsy, skip over this part.  The lab tech got everything out and I thought there was a mistake.  I looked over and asked if the thing that looked like a turkey carver was going into my boob.  Yes, yes it was.  Great.  Just great.  Anyway, they numb the area, and it was actually fine.  Never look.  I looked at the screen as they did it and this wonderful lady came in and patted my leg the whole time…no, she was not some random lady.  She was the patient coordinator, but it made me feel better.

The doctor was pretty funny and I found out that I actually have fibrocystic breast condition.  After waiting for the entire weekend, and then missing the call last week, I finally found out on Thursday that everything was fine.  I had a wonderful day Friday and my husband sent me flowers.  I went out with a friend for her birthday and celebrated.  I felt relieved.  I am telling you all this because if you have a special lady in your life (mom, sister, friend, whoever), encourage them to get checked each year.  Go with them if necessary…and if you are reading this, yes, I’ll go with you.  All you have to do is ask.

“Be that strong girl that everyone knew would make it through the worst, be that fearless girl, the one who would dare to do anything, be that independent girl who didn’t need a man; be that girl who never backed down.”  ~Taylor Swift

The spiral…

Do you ever wonder why there are certain times in your life when things spiral out of control?  You get bad news on top of more bad news.  You wonder when it is going to end.  If you have been following my blog, you know that I also write about health related things.  Last year was a particularly hard year for me health wise, but I was determined not to let it beat me down.  There are some things that are not in my control, and try as I might, I have not been able to figure out how to put money in the bank and keep it there.

Just last week, one of our cars was in the shop.  Since we finally paid it off, the repairs probably cost near what the thing would be worth if we could trade it in.  I have tried my hardest to save a small amount of money, but the attempt has been in vain.  I keep thinking about those shows where they find things to sell in the attic, but I don’t think my brother’s He-Man and my old Barbie pool are going to make me much money.  I did manage to find a few misshapen lumps of clay that I made in elementary school for my parents.  A lumpy green vase with an unsteady bottom, an ashtray in brown and orange (sure to fetch tons of money), and some sort of pocket thing you hang on the wall.

Since everyone I know is working on their best-selling novel, I’ll let you know when I publish mine. Until then, let me know if you need me to make you a deal on a slightly lumpy green vase.  It’s sure to be worth something one day.

“A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.” ~Yogi Berra