Author’s note: This is not for use on other websites as it is my personal story. ~Aimee~
I once called the insurance phone number to ask a question. An hour later, the woman had shared her whole life story with me and I am not sure she ever answered my question, but I made her feel better. What is an empathanyway and did I just make that up? There are probably thousands of stories like this for me, but I want you to think about times you have interacted with someone and felt all the same feelings they have…or perhaps they have told you things you just didn’t really need to know.
My entire life, I have felt different. I think I have tried really hard to keep a lid on it all until the last 5 years. Derived from the Greek “em” (in) and “pathos” (feeling), the term empathic means I am able to “feel into” others’ feelings. At first, I thought I was just using my computer skills to really know what to post on my fan page for the blog. I always seemed to post just the right quote for my real-life friends, and my page continued to grow that way.
After a while, people began to really identify with my story, and came to me for answers. I continued to grow my client list in my all-natural supplement business Vitalize You because I could get to the root of what the client needed. I learned that I felt what my client was saying to me and within a few short conversations, seriously knew what they needed to do whether it was on the phone or through messaging. I could pick up on vibrations.
So what does this all mean for you if you are friends with one? I have a few tips on what you might notice.
10 Things You Notice Near an Empath:
Please take what we say seriously. If you ask us for advice, even if it sounds crazy, there is some truth in it. We just know things and it bothers the heck out of us when you ask us for advice and don’t listen. Sometimes things makes sense to us long before they make sense to you…and that includes “coincidences” that aren’t really a coincidence at all.
Lies have no place in any conversation with us ever. The surest way to ruin a friendship with an empath is to continue lying to them. It’s just sad really because there is no point and it has been really painful for me personally. I have had to look into the eyes of a close friend and see the hesitation for a split second and I literally felt the lie as it slipped over my skin. I can’t explain it and I don’t want to. It is one of my most uncomfortable traits to not be able to turn off.
Any national tragedy is unbearable…no matter how far away. I wrote a post after Sandy Hook Elementary School was in the news and to this day I can’t read about it. Period. I become the pain in a way I can’t explain to other people. Plus, I was also a teacher. I can’t “unfeel” so the less I know, the better.
They always look tired. I love everyone, I do. But stop asking me why I have dark circles under my eyes. They have been there my whole life. Many empaths get diagnosed with chronic fatigue because they don’t know how to shield themselves properly from energy vampires. This is a work in progress for many.
Healing often becomes their way of life. My friend called me the bridge the other night. I was like interesting. I am the bridge. I see what needs to be done and I just suggest it for others. Whether it is tests, home remedies, alternative methods, exercise, nutrition, or holistic therapy suggestions, I just see it. It is how I approached my own care and came up with my wellness program, and it is how I have helped hundreds of others. It is my job to bridge the gap between modern medicine and what needs to be done in your body.
They might get distracted easily and daydream. This is really true as I can feel some currents and go off on some other task. This is one of the reasons I have to stay organized as best I can.
Living a lie would be damn near impossible. If someone asks me to do something I don’t like…I find a way to procrastinate. However, the procrastination might just be my intuition saying you really have to tell them no. Likewise, when someone asks me to do anything at all like “covering up for them” or “lie for them” I have a hard time holding in my anger at this type of behavior.
No room for narcissism at all. I was asked to be in this group of people who were fawning all over someone. I thought I was going to lose my shit on all of them because the guy shows how much money he has, what he drives, how many people “love” him, and it is the biggest act I have ever seen. Things nobody has time for. THAT. My BS meter is way too high.
The love of animals is strong within us. Most empaths love their animals as if they are furry children and would do anything for them. Anything. So just know that if you don’t like our animals…we know and you won’t last long around us.
Empaths need laughter daily. We are connected to our bodies, sometimes. Mostly, we are in our heads. BUT you can help us by asking us to live in the moment with you. To laugh. To get out of the house if we are in hermit mood, because sometimes the world is too much for us to take. We need to remember what it’s like to be connected.
I can’t say that this is your friend…or you, but if you identify with all of these things, then yes, you probably know what it’s like to be an empath. I unfortunately mean what I say as I utter“I feel your pain.” I always appreciate my close friends understanding this of me and giving me the space to breathe and recharge. Note: here is a follow-up on How to Protect Yourself from Negative Energy. <<< from all the questions I get.
Interested in a place where you can learn to control your thoughts? Check out the Empaths Guide here. <<<
I was pondering what to say to everyone on The Burned Hand fan page, when I came up with #fiercefebruary due to some research I was doing about cortisol levels and self-esteem in the older population. The word “fierce” is particularly useful in self-esteem talks because you can basically “fake it until you make it”. Fierce can be ferocious and forceful like a lion…but it can also mean showing a heartfelt and powerful intensity. That’s what I want you to put in your head a minute.
What does fierce look like?
So I did a series of posters on Vitalize You Wellness that I pinned to the top of the fan page. That page is meant to inspire my friends, followers, and clients of my 4 Weeks to Wellness as well as my yoga community. It was difficult to do the posters and of course, that was because of the old feelings that came up with them, but when I was done, I knew it was the right thing…even though you have to hover over the pause to slow it down since I didn’t create the program as it’s on FB.
When I came to my yoga teacher training, it was just like any other time you would meet me. I was open and honest about what it was like to live with invisible diseases and pain because I looked okay on the outside. But the truth is, don’t we all?? I’d like to start you off with this thought for the month. How can coming to terms with whatever you can’t change make you stronger? Better yet, why don’t you start working on the things you can change and see where you are in a month? I mean honestly, that’s the whole basis of my plan that I made for myself. I was so focused on the pain, the hurt and the diseases that I forgot to focus on other things.
As I began to work my way backwards, which was very interesting because I focused on the end result instead of that moment, I kept telling myself that I could make it from February 6th of last year, WOW, until June 14th. Each month I would start my wellness checks, was I eating the right way for my body, yes. Was I now moving, yes. Was I taking care of my stress and balancing my life out as best I could?? Yes. And lastly, was I taking care of my self-care needs? Yes. When I began to realize that not everyone fighting invisible diseases had the kind of support that I did, I started working on this course for my friends.
It has now been one year since I started my yoga teacher journey, and I want to encourage you to do something that makes you feel “fierce” and strong. Please know that one of my favorite quotes is “It takes so much courage just to start.” And I hope you start working on yourself a little each day. If you are interested in learning more about my program, 4 Weeks to Wellness, which is currently under $50!! Click the linked word to find out more. You get lifetime membership for the introductory price even if I add more modules later!
Hi friends…today I had a follow-up radio interview to my previous interview that talked about Living with invisible diseases. Today the talk focused on how I was able to move forward from all that pain, and start getting back to the life I thought I was going to be living.
What is Blog Talk Radio anyway?
BlogTalkRadio is the online radio network that allows users to host live call-in talk shows with unlimited participants using our free podcast recording tool. No software to download or complicated audio equipment.
I would love for you to listen to this quick show! The Magic Happens “Share the Wealth” with Kellie Fitzgerald as hostess. The interview went so well again that Kellie has asked me to come back for an even longer talk next time because we both feel that living with invisible diseases does NOT need to be hidden in some dark, dusty corners and spoken of in whispers. No. We both understand the pain of inflammatory diseases and what that brings to the table when people think “You look well.” To be honest with you, I don’t remember what I said last time…but it was painful I know. Raw. Real. And me. Here it is: Older Blog Talk Radio Interview <<< so you can see the difference.
Thank you for always being here with me! Namaste my friends.
Here is the link to 4 Weeks to Wellness. I appreciate those of you who have already signed up and are giving me such great feedback after listening to me this morning! You can leave a comment on this post if you would like! Also see the work with me tab at the top of the blog for more!
Yesterday my friend from Inner Sanctuary: BE Inspired and I led the most amazing workshop called New Year|New Moon Let Go and Look Forward. I planned the yoga session on releasing and unwinding while Lindsey planned the most amazing meditation and journaling session. With just a few short phrases designed to make us think about what our worst moment of last year was and why we felt that way, I was able to see what I feared most about the situation. I don’t mind telling you that the worst moment was actually learning that a friend’s cancer came back. She asked us to think about the feelings surrounding that and write down a few words to describe it. Previous to this, Lindsey asked us to write down our best moment and words to describe it. My best moment was completing yoga teacher training.
So Lindsey asked us if we saw parallels…were the words on the opposite end of each other? I immediately saw the connection for me. As most of you know, I have battled invisible disease for a long time. I know what it feels like to get bad news from a doctor and to think that there is no hope, even if it’s just that split second where they tell you the news. So for that split second when D told me her news, I felt what she felt. Okay, maybe longer than that because that is what I do…but after that, I was like no. The opposite feeling is my best moment. I felt strong and healthy. I knew that was what I wanted for my friend and I knew that the feelings surrounding that were what my group of friends worked so hard on trying to create for D.
It was very powerful for me to see what exactly I want to create for my circle of friends as well as myself. It was powerful for me to see why I had to let go of friendships that didn’t want the same for me last year as well as why I had to let go of any residual feelings surrounding feeling weak or hopeless. I was now in the zone to create the opposite. The circle of women yesterday were trying so hard to get past whatever was blocking them that I knew that’s why I had to let go of the past. Whatever is meant to be in your life will find a way. I believe that.
3 Tips on Learning to Release What Weighs You Down:
Envision the BEST version of you and what that looks like and feels like. Lindsey had us look into a mirror and see the worst version of ourselves and the best. We forgave that worst version of ourselves and thanked her for getting us to the point where we are today. It was empowering to forgive her. We then embraced the best version possible of ourselves. We allowed her to step fully into the light and move forward with us.
Explore the feelings behind what is weighing you down. Not the actual thing, but what is it about those feelings that is holding you back? Why are you holding onto those things? Do you think you can imagine a better outcome? It is too late for that now, so release the feelings, but instead work towards the opposite of how that made you feel. If you need to, thank that situation for whatever good it taught you and use it to move forward from that place of pain or unwanted emotion.
Make a new plan for the best version of you. This is the part where you really have to be diligent in what you allow into your space. This is YOUR space and sometimes things are easier said than done. I know this. You might not be able to control the outside situation, but you can control your thoughts and how you react to things. If you are about to react in a way that would not propel you forward, as I have said in the past, try hard to make a different plan. An example would be one I use for my yoga students…come to the mat and the rest will take care of itself. Don’t worry about what you CAN’T do. Instead focus on what you CAN do!
I received a wonderful compliment yesterday after my yoga flow. I wasn’t sure what the new student was going to say, but she said is that how you always teach yoga? Me: Yes? She then proceeded to tell me she loved how I integrated the entire mind/body connection into the class. I truly believe that yoga is a very powerful healing tool and it teaches us to move in a flowing meditation right on our mats. We learn NOT to be concerned about what the person is doing right near us. Not to be concerned about body image, or our abilities. I fully believe in focusing on what you can do and to take that knowledge and move forward into the best version of you for this coming year. I know that you can do this!
For more on the mind/body connection, read about my 4 Weeks to Wellness course here. NEW! See the Head|Heart|Health tab for more help.
I know that everyone is always excited in January and ready to change themselves. By February, you are slightly less excited. And usually, by March, most people have fizzled out. What about if you could just improve on 3 exercises? That’s it. Just 3 things to do to keep you going.
3 Simple Exercises to Keep You Fit:
Plank pose, which is called kumbhakasana in Sanskrit, can help you to engage your core. When I first started yoga, mind you, I could not hold much weight on my wrists, so I assumed it was my wrists, typing, etc. Just all around bad posture that made it difficult. I will not forget how difficult the variation of side plank was for me. I could not do it. So in order to get better with a plank, here is what you need to do. Begin on all fours, and make sure your hands are under your shoulders. The key is the breath as this is the start of a push-up. So in order to show you what I mean, here is a photo. The best thing about learning to plank is that you WILL get better the more you practice it.
Using a Kettlebell. I read this article about 4 years ago in a magazine on the benefits of a kettlebell and I just had to try it. I did the kettle bell swings, and I combined it with squats. It was better for my back, but the kettlebell did take some getting used to. All in all it was easy to do at home whenever I needed to just get a few sets in. But make sure to link breathing with it. Always, always link your breath to your routine.
Boat pose. In my yoga classes, my students always groan during my core section. But they have groaned less and less and been more focused as I told them I had a C-SECTION and ALL my stomach muscles were cut and I couldn’t even do one boat to yacht…as a friend called it, at first. I am not kidding. When I started my journey over 2 years ago, everything was just out of whack. I can now start in boat pose, and use a block between my ankles and hike up to touch it. That is my boat to yacht variation. If you want to start out slow, use your sitz bones and lean back, but keep your hands under your knees on the back of your thighs and lean back. Keep your hands there until you can extend your legs. It’s okay to stay at the beginning of the pose. I did for a long time.
Side-plank variation as mentioned above:
If you want to know more about my 4 Weeks to Wellness, check out this link. Or if you are interested in my other coaching offerings, you can read more under “Work with Me”.