Oh, I was on that group text where everyone was talking about something I wasn’t invited to.  How does that feel inner child?  To be honest, it feels like crap no matter how old you are.

What happened to being real?  I started to wonder that several years ago when 2 different friends were trying to use others to find their happy.  You see they lost whatever spark they had and consoled themselves that lying to friends, pretending to have the perfect lives on Facebook or other social media platforms would really cover up the pain, and they ignored what they really needed to do…which was to be honest.

It isn’t all sparkles and fairy dist and unicorns no.  But pretending that you don’t need help has never helped anyone.  Settling for crappy friendships, crappy jobs and crappy partners also isn’t helping you find your happy place.

Settling for less means that because you could hurt someone’s feelings you might dim your sparkle. I was once told at work that I was too excited…and I was a teacher.  I didn’t have the world beat me down look that everyone else came to class with.  So I needed to tone it down…which surprised me.

5 Ways to Stop Settling for Less

  1. Don’t let others rationalize their mistreatment of you or others.  I once had a group of friends who constantly invalidated my feelings.  They ignored, stepped over the line, and continued to make condescending remarks, then would say “sorry”, but the truth was, they were never sorry as it continued to happen.  Actions speak louder than words…and they never changed their actions.  Taunts, clicking like on others posts who said things opposite, and underhanded remarks to ignore how I felt.  I never once, not even once, did that to them.  I was settling for less than what I deserved in that friend circle and I knew it.
  2. You might over think, yet not act because the time isn’t right.  I do this and recognize that I do it at times.  I get mad when I catch myself over thinking something that my gut has said go for…or end.  My gut feeling is right.  If it is time to walk away from a job, a friend, or a relationship, remember to act and not over think.  Thinking about it for years can cost you your health. That is what almost happened to me being stuck in a job that was making me ill.
  3. You use food, alcohol, or other addictions to cope.  I know this one is hard.  I have seen plenty of people I love cope with other methods instead of dealing with the present moment.  This is a way that you settle and you were created for more.  Something bigger.  I have coped with alcohol before and I was lucky that I recognized the need to break away and start exercise, and healthy habits to release endorphins the natural way.  I see so many people, people who really surprised me, coming forward and saying they have been clean or entered AA.  One was a person I really looked up to and had no idea that she struggled with alcohol as much as she did.  It takes strength to break this habit and it can be a powerful motivator to move forward.
  4. Stop playing small and whispering what you want…but then feeling guilty.  Why does telling your desires to the universe seem greedy?  I don’t know.  It is almost like we think we don’t deserve to win, right?  Don’t do this to yourself.  You deserve to win and you deserve more in life.  Write out your top 3 goals right now.  Do it.  Then share the goals under here.
  5. Do not say yes when you mean no.  Did you take too much on your plate?  Stop saying yes when you mean no.  I mean it.  Write another list of things you are tired of saying yes to.  That is your settling list.  Now write a list of boundaries around that list.  Come up with ways to say no, or just write out the word NO next to all of them.  The next time it comes up, say no.  See if you can say no without feeling like you have to explain anything at all to anyone.  Listen to your gut.  Don’t be forced into a corner.

Want to explore more on what you really want?  I am about to do a reboot your happiness challenge for 21 days and I would love to help you attract more of what you want and push away the things you don’t really want.  Grab your spot right NOW and we’ll get to work.  >>Grab it here <<

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