I am perfect. I never make mistakes. Neither does anyone else in the world. This actually false, but hey, it’s okay to make mistakes! What I want to get away from, is apologizing for everyone’s mistakes. I am serious. Sometimes I feel like I have to apologize just for the color of my skin, but I know that would be crazy because I had no control over genetics, pigmentation or anything like that.
Unnecessary apologies don’t help anything. In fact, it sends the message that you think you are responsible for the issue at hand. Are you? Did you create the mess we’re all in right now? I know I didn’t, yet I honestly do find myself wanting to apologize and I realize that is a reaction more to the fact that I want to help the world change. However, if I keep apologizing for the state of the world, that is a huge burden for just one person to bear. I know that I am not alone in feeling this way, so let’s look at a few other things we need to stop apologizing for.
5 Things to Stop Apologizing For:
- Your skin color or appearance. I watched this really interesting short video where the parents in some cultures wanted their kids to be lighter skinned…not just here. I actually had my mouth drop open at one point when a Korean girl said lighter skin there is associated with beauty. Or the beautiful girl from Bengali. You see, no one ever said any of this mess to me, thankfully. I enjoyed darker skin as one side of my family is naturally olive toned. I actually researched the factors that cause skin to change color, and there are many different reports, but of course, it was an adaptation to protect ourselves much like my own genetic condition to store iron. Why would we let this bother us so much? It’s absurd that this is still an issue today.
- Your religion. Whatever you believe, don’t believe or practice, that is personal. It has no bearing on my life whatsoever…nor should it. If someone is making you feel guilty for your beliefs or differences, that really says more about them than you. Don’t apologize for what you believe in. It’s okay to be different.
- Asking a question. If the question pertains to something that you just don’t understand, or want to get a better grasp on, why should you apologize for it? I don’t think it’s necessary to apologize for asking questions during a meeting, or even when something seems like the wrong way to go at work. You might be the one who asks the question in front of everyone, but I bet you are certainly not the only one who had that question. You can voice your opinion and be bold without needing to apologize.
- Having “you” time. Why do we apologize for this? Sometimes I don’t want to be involved in someone’s drama, mess or ridiculousness. Maybe I just really want to have me time…lots. But that is actually no one’s business. I do like lots of time alone and I also enjoy time with friends. Thankfully, my friends get it if I say I don’t feel like doing something or not right now, or whatever I say. The word no should be enough without needing to apologize for taking a step back.
- Circumstances, or health problems, you can’t control. I felt guilty for so long on this one. Wow. Why? Because I was born with iron overload and didn’t know it?? How the hell was that my fault and why did I keep carrying that around? I don’t know. It really wasn’t my fault. If there are circumstances beyond your control, stop apologizing. You are wasting precious time feeling guilty, sorry, angry and other emotions that have no place in your life. They are taking up head space, so kick them out. Don’t say you are sorry if someone shares something difficult with you as well <<< I have to work on this one. Try “I can’t imagine how you feel.” Or “That must be difficult.” Why do we apologize like we caused it??? I know it’s instinct, so I really have to work on this one.