How Losing Narcissistic Friends Opens Up Space for Good Energy.
I know the title might be shocking. We never want to willingly lose a friend. Not really. But sometimes these things can’t be helped and we need to see them for what they really are. A blessing in disguise.
As someone who wants to heal others, I naturally attract people who need healing. This can come in all forms, from past relationships, family members, strangers, yes, and then friends.
What I have come to realize now, is that it is completely normal and even healthy, to lose friends as I grow and wake up to what I am meant to do with my abilities. I know that I need healthy boundaries, and in the past, was not aware that I was constantly being drained by allowing these friends so much of my time. Whew. It was honestly a cycle I didn’t know how to get out of.
Empaths are tuned into feelings at an unnaturally high state. We have been living this way for our whole lives, so the truth is, we really aren’t aware others don’t notice the same things we do…for a while. The worst part of it for me personally, was hearing the lie almost before it was said.
Time and time again, I was told things that were simply not true. I knew it immediately, yet, I truly loved this friend, so I let it pass because I thought there must be a good reason for it. <<< note, there isn’t.
Narcissists have convinced themselves that the world is truly a bad place and they are the only ones who can be trusted. They desire to be desired, admired, and sought after. They rarely question their own logic because they have lied to themselves and others so much, that whatever story they project they actually start to believe.
If you have a problem, theirs is 10 times bigger and the worst so naturally, you end up spending the most time speaking of their issues. And forget it if you do something that deserves praise. They won’t be clicking like on that post.
As the narcissist comes in for the win, they find a highly sensitive person/empath who can help them with their problems time and time and time and time again. If this sounds familiar, it’s time to free yourself from this cycle.
How to open yourself up to good energy:
- Start setting up clear boundaries. If it is your dinner time, and the person really has a need, they can wait. If they appear agitated, mad, or won’t speak to you for a while because you have to go, that might be a sign.
- Take charge of what is your “stuff” and do not absorb theirs. I try not to type cuss words, but in your head, you know what I mean. It is very important that you stay level-headed and know that the energy you might feel after talking to them is not your own. I once described a situation I went through to another sensitive friend, and she said she was grumpy afterward…but recognized it wasn’t my stuff or hers. It was the residual feelings of what I went through. Do you ever feel drained, mad, upset at your spouse after talking to a friend? Yup. It might have been their stuff.
- Find and cultivate a space for high energy and gratitude. I know that people are often not aware of this, but replacing old patterns of thoughts with higher ones, actually helps us. It really protects us from that draining feeling and improves our health! Gratitude opens us up to attract more abundance into our lives.
- Forgive yourself and know when it is time to walk away from things that do not lift you up! I read every night before bed and I write in my journal. In a nutshell, last night I was thinking about uplifting others and how that feels compared to the energy of being dragged down and trampled. I don’t know why I never saw it before, but I am so happy I can recognize it now, and steer clear from it. My intuition always tells me way ahead of time, but sometimes I tamp it down because I truly want to believe the person can change…but the truth is, they have to want that change and many don’t. Recognize this pattern in your friendships now so you can start to create that space you need for good energy.
Thank you so much for reading, and if you are looking for more gratitude in your life, feel free to find my closed group.
Spread awesomeness:
Thanks for your blog posts, they are always very precise on the selected theme. Lots to learn, think about and see the surrounding world from a different view.
One of these days I am going to come see you! Thank you so much for commenting:) I am really glad they help! I am now doing my weekly FB page lives on Thursdays at 10a.m. EST if you ever see me on the FB page!
I just had to end a lifelong “friendship” with a narcissist. I don’t regret trying so hard to help him. But it is I who feel hurt and debilitated . I finally realized that he is incapable of caring. I have finally realized he uses 12-step groups as his harem, and does not want to forfeit the attention he gets when he has a slip. This relationship has been, in fact, an addiction for me. I have to let go of the thought that I am necessary and indispensable. I have initiated no contact, and the relief has yet to set in. Tough stuff. I am grateful.
It is very very hard when we are the ones to let go, because you are right. They seem incapable of caring that it is us getting hurt as well. Relief won’t come until you realize you are clear…so I would resolve to gather your energy and clear the space they once occupied.