Before you count this article out, I want you to read it with an open mind. Take a step back and know that it is written without judgement (I don’t know you, right?), and I am not snatching people up out of their homes questioning them on these 5 toxic habits. Then how do I know about them? If I don’t put in the work on my thoughts almost daily, I too can suffer from a few of these habits.
I am human after all and someone who has lived with invisible disease for so long that excuses (or habits…call it what you will) flew from my lips effortlessly at one time. I think the truth is, perhaps, just maybe, I was scared to think that I could actually be happy again one day. I used to worry about things that never happened, and that made me more ill. I used to sit and ponder what ifs until I was blue in the face…and it didn’t help me…I wasn’t a Smurf after all.
I have told you about the rock bottom day on my videos before on the page, but if you haven’t heard, you are welcome to join me or watch a replay of one called “being present with invisible diseases”.
Check this out later if you haven’t read about my >> diseases <<.
So what 5 habits got in the way of my happiness almost daily at one time? I will share.
- Constantly making an excuse to do things at a later time, date, or when I “felt better”. I am not talking about a cold here, I am talking about real pain for 24/7 for 5 straight years. It wasn’t, at that time, in my mind that I was actually going to feel better the next day. Or on day x, etc. I was not capable of seeing the larger picture. I saw the dis-eases. They were real and seemed to come out of no where and that was all I could see. When I stepped back and saw a bit more, I saw that I had to try my hardest to get out of negative thinking as I was still young when my last diagnosis occurred and I had to try something new. Certainly what I was doing hadn’t helped me so far.
- I struggled against what was happening. I was so freaking stuck in quicksand at one point, that all I could do was sink and struggle. What do they say about quicksand? I have heard that when you struggle you sink faster. Ahhh. What if you go with it? You start to get unstuck…or so I have been told. Once, when I was a kid, the closest I came to this was in a swampy area with thick mud. I won’t forget that day as we had gone off in a part of our woods we had never been in before…alone, as we “explored” back then, and found ourselves stuck. I told her to stop struggling and let me think. There were cypress knees growing and if we kind of hopped closer to them, we could get traction and we made it out. I have learned to stop struggling now, and think like my younger self. Go with it and make a plan.
- Staying stagnant and still, not exercising or even moving. Pick your poison. Because staying still will surely be part of your decay. You have seen it in the lives of others around you, and I know you have. I had seen it in older relatives. I just never thought that at 36 years old, I was going to start losing movement. So I used that as my excuse. I had a working theory though…and luckily for me I am always curious. I did have to hit rock bottom of the worst pain before I decided to try out my theory, so hopefully this helps you as a wake-up call maybe, but I knew I needed to move my lymphatic system so that my immune system could start back up again and hopefully remember more about what it was supposed to really do, and perhaps stop attacking me. Again, I am not a doctor, just someone who really wanted to find peace and happiness again. Everyone has heard exercise releases endorphins, and that of course can help boost your happy.
- Becoming bitter over how other people were living. Let’s pretend for a second that you are in immense pain (maybe you are, or you might be depressed), and you look at your feed of very happy, well-rounded looking “friends”. Do you think “It must be nice?” I had this one friend from college and I would look at her photos occasionally. I realized seeing her exercising, pain-free, and smiling all the time in every photo, made me…well…not happy. I can admit that now, and I know that I was doing the best I could at the time so seeing those photos just didn’t help my state of mind at that particular time. Now? Totally different place. But I want you to observe what comes up for you when you scan your feed. Are you subconsciously doing something that makes you unhappy? Are you comparing yourself? Unfollow those folks for a while just until you can take a step back. Focus only on your life and taking baby steps. It’s what I advise my Club friends.
- I forgot what I already had…just for a little bit. You have heard me say before that when I couldn’t move, I tried to crawl basically. So I would use my good side to try to push out of bed slowly. And before the first thought of “Why do I have to get out of bed” could resurface, I would change what I thought. “Thank you.” I whispered as the pain shot down my legs. “Thank you.” I whispered. As occasionally my eyes would well up from sleeping only 2 hours, and feeling exhausted yet again…upon waking. “Thank you.” I whispered the final time. And using the same methods I teach my Club, I would make it to the bathroom mirror where in dry erase marker, I had written I am healing. And my girls, my precious girls, had written little tiny love quotes on my mirror and I had my grateful messages right where I could see them.
This article might have surprised you at first because you thought it was going to be the same as all the others…telling you to just push through it. But I am not telling you that. I am telling you that I have been there and if you would like to learn more about what I do or my >> Head|Heart|Health Club, << I would love to share more baby steps with you on the road to wellness. It starts with your thoughts my friends and the rest will follow.